A Christmas Gift for the Bureaucrat You Love

From the National Archives. 

Comments

[Episiarch]

A Christmas Gift for the Bureaucrat You Love

Silly Radley, no one loves a bureaucrat.

[sage]

I guess they'll put this next to the original "bullshit."

Actually, I'm not sure that belongs in quotes.

[Guy Montag]

Thank you Radley!

There is this hottie IT Portfolio Manager gal over in Army DCS G-3/5/7 Battle Command - Futures that I had my eye on.

[cynical bastard]

Episiarch: Maybe, but they sure are out of stock on it.

[Reinmoose]

OUT OF STOCK!?

[sage]

That's ok, guys. I have some extras I could send you for a nominal charge. But before anyone accuses me, I didn't take some duct tape, paint it red, and shove it between two pieces of lexan with a sheet of paper off my word processor.

[LarryA]

We are currently out of stock on this item. Please check back later.

The item they're out of is the bits of tape encased in lucite. Thy have plenty of red tape, but it's required for its original purpose. They'll run out of lucite before they run out of red tape.

This encased bit of "red tape" is from Civil War documents found in the records of the Union Army, by volunteers of the Civil War Records Conservation Corp at the National Archives.

Proof positive: Red tape never wears out.

[Guy Montag]

Out of stock 🙁 Guess I will just have to buy her a drink instead.

[sage]

Guy,

Buy her two. Or five.

[Guy Montag]

sage,

I don't know if regular drinks will do it. Might need a bottle of this stuff.

[John]

Anyone else find it ironic that this stupid piece of red tape has been preserved in glass making it near impossible to actually cut through in the name of preserving a stupid idea? At least now I have something to hurl through the window at the DMV.

[Guy Montag]

John,

My fellow Tennesseeians now have something to hurl at the Capitol during the annual income tax attempt by the Legeslature too.

[Abdul]

I tried to order some, but I didn't have the time to submit a passport, retinal scan, application forms in triplicate notarized by a bilingual attorney and mailed by registered mail to seven different agencies.

[sage]

Abdul,

Don't forget to use a ballpoint when filling out those forms.

"Impossible. A ball cannot have a point."

[lunchstealer]

Silly Radley, no one loves a bureaucrat.

Yes, but is it possible to build a relationship between bureaucrats that, when questioned by an outside observer, cannot be distinguished from love?

[Guy Montag]

lunchstealer,

That so-called 'love' concept, does it require more paperwork than lust?

[lunchstealer]

Absolutely. That's the beauty of it.

[Just sayin\']

Silly Radley, no one loves a bureaucrat.

my father was a bureaucrat

[Episiarch]

my father was a bureaucrat

My condolances.

[J sub D]

Proof positive: Red tape never wears out.

No, but it apperas to fornicate and multiply. (Too much fucking red tape!).

[R C Dean]

Dean WANT!

[bergamot]

Um guys?

This is nothing new; I bought one of these at the NA gift shop years ago. It was in an envelope instead of a plastic block, but same red tape, same caption, etc.

[Kwix]

To be a pedant that fabric is not a twill, it is a plainweave.

Figures, bureaucrats making gifts for other bureaucrats can't get their shit right either.

[K.]

If I'm gonna get a cool block of glass, I'm going to get this one:

http://michaelgr.com/2007/11/19/in-the-mail-dna-crystal/

[Red Tapist]

Painted with the menstrual fluids of Lady Liberty herself!

[Anita]

Do you still have this available? I'd buy this as a gift in a heartbeat.