Howley and Hamburger on Red Eye

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I'll be on Fox News' Red Eye at 3am ET*, as will hipster fave Neil Hamburger.

*whoops–changed from 2am for anyone watching.

NEXT: Kathryn Johnston: A Year Later

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  1. omg, shiv and what not.

  2. The irreducible raw essence of the matter is, I am in love with you Kerry Howley.

    See you tonight.

  3. Thanks Kerry for illustrating to me, yet again, that I am an utter failure in my lifelong quest to be a hipster. (Of course, that could be more due to my choice of quest than my rate of success with it.)

  4. Time to turn the lights down low, get a little soft jazz on the CD player. I’m lighting candles and pouring a glass of red wine. Fox on the TV, but the mute button already pressed. The hosts of Red Eye fade into the darkness and I only see your face. Tonight, we will consummate our love, however distant we may be…

  5. The lovely and talented Katherine Mangu-Ward (whom I’ve never met, either) has taken the first step with her date-of-a-lifetime essay (in a good way) on how to eat exotic animals.

    With this post title, Kerry announces that, depending on context, a self-respecting woman just might enjoy being considered a piece of meat after all. It’s the next logical step.

  6. Howley is at least a Bacon Double Cheeseburger with mushrooms and peppers. At a minimum.

  7. Bingo, You are a loser.

  8. Be sure to ask him about his former band “The Crinkles,” for whom he played bass. And, btw, I don’t eat cooked flour either.

  9. The hosts of Red Eye fade into the darkness and I only see your face. Tonight, we will consummate our love, however distant we may be…

    Kerry, a 3,000-mile restraining order may be called for.

  10. i’ll call your burger and raise you a footlong weiner

  11. I friggin’ love Neil Hamburger… but that’s my life.

  12. Ok, let’s ease up on the sexual innuendo.

  13. The last episode I saw with Howley on, the host told the other two female guests that they were beautiful, but told Howley that she was smart.

    Bogus! And a bit awkward.

  14. Live blogging Red Eye:

    Kerry Howley’s statement about men being nothing but sperm donors only encourages the pervs at Hit & Run.

    Greg Gutfeld still cannot modulate his voice.

    True to form, the CIA guy is torturing me with his lame attempts at humor.

    Up next, a segment on the Crocodile Hunter’s spawn.

  15. Kerry is right: Children are evil, maybe more evil than clowns.

  16. Everyone agrees: We all hate Heather Mills. Sensible people would call it a night after reaching a consensus.

  17. Halftime Report: Andrew Levy learns a new word. Kerry Howley solicits hate mail from Faux News viewers.

  18. Story about Italian professor who has a porn career on the side. Greg goes straight to Kerry. Viewers Google the professor’s web site.

  19. Sorry. Fell asleep during the Neil Hamburger segment.

  20. Viewer mail time. Everyone hates this show.

    Levy is back. Kerry mentions all of the creepy comments she gets on her blog. I blame all of you.

    That’s a wrap, folks.

  21. I friggin’ love Neil Hamburger… but that’s my life.

    America’s Funnyman is the best comedy album ever. Find it. Buy it.

  22. Kerry,

    I missed it! Sorry!

    Greg

  23. What did santa claus give paris hilton for christmas?

    well, he raped her. /neil hamburger

  24. Franklin Harris,

    When you have children, you’ll know better.

  25. I caught the show last night and saw a few of the Howley contributions to segments mentioned above. She was clever and winsome as always, BUT…

    Perhaps Kerry just likes being the smartest girl in the room, to the point of addiction. Otherwise, it is hard to imagine how anyone with anything better going on in their lives would appear on this show. After having seen it a coupla-three times (two or three too many, imho), my conclusion is that “Red Eye” is cable-access gone network. Life is too short. Why waste it on this as a viewer, much less a participant?

    I had a girlfriend in college who apparently hung out with me because it made her parents mad. But the parents soon got hip to that and used reverse psychology on her. Almost as soon as I was no longer dissed as the bad boy from the poor side of town — actually complimented by Mummy and Daddy as having some nice qualities — she lost interest in me. (Worry not, dear readers. The trauma of this incident did not prevent me from later finding a wonderful woman, to whom I have been married almost twenty years now, and with whom I have raised a son who will soon be off to college and his first college girlfriend. We’ll see if the cycle repeats. 😉

    Anyway, maybe the same dynamic is in play with Kerry. Maybe her family is embarrassed or irritated by these “Red Eye” appearances. Once they begin to ENDORSE them, however, she might lose interest and use the resume credit (such as it is) to move on to a show that has a little more intrinsic value. Wouldn’t we all like to see Kerry on at least the Daily Show or Colbert? So if you know Kerry’s family, please pass this idea along to them, and help stop this senseless waste of human life.

  26. James Merritt –

    A bit harsh on the Red Eye. I think it’s a refreshing change of pace – nice to see a show that doesn’t take itself too seriously. Gutfeld is hit-or-miss, but his hits are good, and at 3 AM his misses don’t seem that bad either. Maybe it’s just not aimed at your demographic.

    Kerry’s always good on the show. I hate that they made it come on even later – now I may just need to TiVo it…

  27. Red Eye is actually growing on me.

  28. So is athlete’s foot, but Kerry Howley doesn’t appear on that, does she?

  29. Red Eye is actually growing on me.

    That’s actually pink eye, and there’s a cure.

  30. Ok, crimethink was first. My joke was better. So there.

  31. Red Eye is probably the best show on fox news, for whatever that’s worth. A little over the top sometimes? Maybe. But I’ve never seen a show that can so closely replicate the feeling of sitting at a bar with your friends bullshitting on random subjects or whatever comes on the muted TV.

  32. CJS said (to me): “Maybe it’s just not aimed at your demographic.”

    Eric said (to all): “I’ve never seen a show that can so closely replicate the feeling of sitting at a bar with your friends bullshitting on random subjects or whatever comes on the muted TV.”

    I think you’ve captured it. My demographic is definitely not the crowd who sits in bars, BSing on random subjects or whatever comes on the muted TV. I have a family to support, quite a few interests and obligations to occupy my time, and am not looking for a random hook up. I was once in the opposite situation, however, for enough years to understand the mindset. So I can see the potential relevance of this show to that target demographic.

    But here’s the thing: the reason that I THOUGHT people did the thing in bars was to have company, however superficial, and even to participate in the BSing, attempts to hook up, etc. What is hard for me to understand is that people will sit at home and watch the Red Eye bozos simulate the experience. Considering the Howley case, I at first thought that perhaps the Red Eye people were notorious party animals, and she liked hanging out with them: reason enough to be on their show. But she always seems to be on a remote camera, reporting from the capitol. It would be one thing if everyone did the show and then adjourned to a REAL bar where they could spend an hour or two hanging out “for real.” But that doesn’t seem to be the case for KH. So what’s the point, I wonder? Maybe she’s angling for her own show at Fox News, as Colbert broke away from the Daily Show to even greater success on Comedy Central. If so, I wish her the best; it’s just too bad she has to do it THIS way, but it beats digging ditches or turning tricks, I suppose.

  33. Eric also said, “Red Eye is probably the best show on fox news, for whatever that’s worth.”

    I would agree with you, from what I’ve seen of both Red Eye and Faux News in general. But that’s a good argument for pulling the plug on the network altogether, and then who would give Kerry her own show in primetime?

  34. J.A.M.:

    You are putting way too much thought into this.

  35. Bingo said, “You are putting way too much thought into this.”

    Yeah, it’s just after the day’s Sudoku and my mind is buzzing with combinations and possibilities. I just can’t help it. 😉

    But you have a point. Red Eye is mindless entertainment, much like the “I love the 60s-70s-80s” that I sometimes find myself mesmerized into watching for no good reason at all. I guess that I just like my mindless entertainment with a little less venality (though clearly, no less vapidity). Different strokes… My demographic probably shouldn’t be up that late, anyway. lol

  36. Haha, sudoku will do that to you! Red Eye reminds me of what you might see on a local public access channel late at night. Just a couple of people having fun and hanging out, with a few topics that happen to string together the conversation.

    Really, the entire thing is analogous to what you might find on a message board like this one. All it would take is someone with a bunch of webcam feeds and a broadcasting license and we basically got our own Red Eye every day in here 😀

  37. Well, not exactly. I could show you how it’s done, friendly friends! Simply visit the nearest McDonald’s between the hours of four and five in the morning. Bring a shorty robe, some towels, any discarded swimwear you might have, a plastic tarp, a large bucket, and head straight for the men’s restroom. Feel free to sneak up behind me but if you happen to hear any loud humming, please come back in five minutes.

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