Claim: Despite Government Spending, Teens Still Having Sex

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Via the Associated Press, a chilling report suggests that, despite the best efforts of the moral scolds in the Bush administration, teens are still going at it, despite a massive increase in spending on "abstinence education" programs. Why one needs to waste even more money studying the blindingly obvious is unclear, but the AP has all the sordid details:

Programs that focus exclusively on abstinence have not been shown to affect teenager sexual behavior, although they are eligible for tens of mil lions of dollars in federal grants, according to a study released by a nonpartisan group that seeks to reduce teen pregnancies.

"At present there does not exist any strong evidence that any abstinence program delays the initiation of sex, hastens the return to abstinence or reduces the number of sexual partners" among teenagers, the study concluded.

The report, which was based on a review of research into teenager sexual behavior, was being released Wednesday by the nonpartisan National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

Over at the Huffington Post, James Wagoner attacks the Democrats for endorsing a "record $141 million dollar budget for community-based abstinence-only-until-marriage programs which prohibit information about condoms and birth control," and is shocked to learn "that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) signed off on the funding increase." Yes, shocking.

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  1. When they’re done trying to get young people to stop having sex, maybe they should try to get the birds to stop flying south for the winter.

  2. We should also probably make the bears wear diapers, just to keep the woods clean.

  3. I was thinking this might be an example of an issue where it really might make a difference if people thought of evolution as more than just a theory.

    …nah! Even fundies know that high school age kids can’t keep their hands of each other.

  4. Hasn’t the government spent a lot on teaching teenagers to use birth control? Given that the illegitmacy rate is pushing 40%, seems like that’s not having much effect either.

  5. I love that line “hastens the return to abstinence.”

    I am pretty abstinent between the times I am getting laid. In fact, as soon as the sex stops, the abstinence starts…very hasty indeed.

  6. When they’re done trying to get young people to stop having sex, maybe they should try to get the birds to stop flying south for the winter.

    You’ve uncovered the secret government plot behind global warming…if men in black suits show up at your house….run!

  7. It seems that federal spending doesn’t result in public-school students knowing and practicing the virtues of abstinence.

    It would be better to spend all this federal taxpayer money on math and science education, because we all know that the public schools do such a wonderful job teaching math and science.

  8. We already know that there is no correlation between spending on education and educational outcomes…why would the subject of sex ed be any different?

  9. True love waits

    for prom night.

  10. Meanwhile, AJC reports (http://www.ajc.com/living/content/living/stories/2007/11/07/teensex_1108.html) that Genarlow Wilson’s case has raised the awareness of teen sex among parents, some of whom now consider talking to their kids about early sex. Clearly, this is the way to go: lock up a few kids caught having sex, and parents will police their children better.

  11. I blame the Discovery Channel and the Bloodhound Gang.

    “You and me aint nuthin’ but mammals
    So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel”

  12. The gov’t certainly was sucessful in getting girls to not have sex with me when I was a teenager. At least, I tell myself that they were.

  13. Wait a second…teens have sex?

  14. What illegitimacy rate? Sex among unmarried adults is likely to be much higher than sex among teenagers.

    Speaking of which, is King Canute an adviser to the administration?

  15. Lemmee get this straight — we have a program where the government preaches abstinence, but on the off chance you should let your guard down and get pregnant, we have another program where the government will send you a check every month.

    Yeah, they’re getting the message.

  16. Stop me if I’m wrong, but IIRC, King Canute did his “hold back the waters” routine deliberately to demonstrate the futility of applying royal (i.e. government) power to natural forces.

  17. This just in, herding cats – impossible. Film at 11.

  18. sixstring, you left out the “free” health care.

  19. J sub D —

    You mean there are chillun who don’t already have health insurance?

    WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE DO SOMETHING FOR THEM???

  20. Creepiest abstinence movement thing? Purity Balls.

    Go ahead a click on the link for Generations of Light Purity Ball at the bottom of the Wiki page. I double dare you. Ewwww!

  21. If they want health insurance they should just get pregnant.

  22. I wonder if Mike Huckabee took his daughter to a Purity Ball.

  23. If the abstinence training doesn’t work, try saltpeter subsidies.

  24. What we need is a war on sex. Look how well it’s worked for drugs, terror, cancer, poverty, porn…

  25. I thought Purity Balls were going to be some sort of masturbatory aid.

  26. Oh Jimmy Wagoner… Bill Number Please??

  27. Heck, if I can’t keep my hands off the high school kids, how are high school kids gonna keep their hands off high school kids?

  28. Nah, Purity Balls is a waxing aid.

  29. Yep, and despite the best efforts of the sex education crowd, they’re (the girls at least) still getting PG. Guess that nannying isn’t effective at either end.

  30. Oh sorry, Toady, guess you had that base covered.

  31. ….for prom night.

    Got a good buddy who was a prom night baby. 🙂

  32. Have you noticed, that people are still having sex? http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZP05N_bZ60Y

  33. At least we won the War on Education. Now not one child has been left behind. Rather, all have.

  34. We already know that there is no correlation between spending on education and educational outcomes…why would the subject of sex ed be any different?

    Actually there is a huge correlation, unintentional and in the wrong direction.

    Back when most kids finished their education with the eighth grade they got married soon thereafter. As a result the wait between puberty and the wedding night was a matter of months.

    With earlier puberty and the emerging “everyone should go to college” trend the abstinence-only folks now expect young people to stay virginal for more than a decade.

    Talk about a tightly-wrapped generation.

  35. The answer is to force kids to marry as soon as they reach puberty. That will minimize their sexual activity.

  36. Talk about a tightly-wrapped generation.

    Apparently not if they’re getting pregnant. Something ain’t wrapped.

  37. At least we won the War on Education. Now not one child has been left behind. Rather, all have.

    I agree. Being left behind implies someone’s ahead, so the government made sure that wasn’t the case anymore.

  38. It is impossible to convey what I have seen in their sweet spirits, their delicate, forming souls, as their daddy takes them out for their first, big dance.

    I hate context, because it makes things like this way less funny.

  39. Wow, de stijl, Purity Balls are as creepy as My Super Sweet Sixteen, but in a totally different way.

  40. Funny.
    Whenever I tell a teenager what they should be doing, they usually go right out and do it.
    Strange it wouldn’t work with sex like that.

  41. My momma talkin’ to me tryin’ to tell me how to live
    But I don’t listen to her ’cause my head is like a sieve
    My daddy, he disowned me ’cause I wear my sister’s clothes
    He caught me in the bathroom with a pair of pantyhose

    My basketball coach, he done kicked me off the team
    For wearin’ high-heel sneakers and actin’ like a queen

    The world’s comin’ to an end, I don’t even care
    As long as I can have a limo and my orange hair
    And it don’t bother me if people think I’m “funny”
    ‘Cause I’m a big rock star and I’m makin’ lots of money
    money, money, money, money, money, money
    Ahhh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…

    I’m so bloody rich! Ha ha ha ha
    I own apartment buildings and shopping centers! Ha ha ha ha
    And I only know three chords! Ha ha ha ha
    Watch me burn, you fools!!!!!!

  42. STOP TELLING ME HOW TO LIVE

    STOP TELLING YOU HOW TO LIVE

    STOP TELLING HIM HOW TO LIVE

    STOP TELLING HER HOW TO LIVE

  43. How can a Priest that jerks off with little boys tell anyone to abstain from sex?

  44. How can a Congressman that plays Beef-Jerky in public restrooms tell anyone to abstain from sex…

  45. It’s the Right Facist Wing of the Republican Party i tell u….and it’s not much of a Party that I want 2 b a part of.

  46. Simple Solution

    We need the It’s None of Your Business Amendment

    For example, it’s none of ur business that:

    1. I have sex
    2. I have sex with Men
    3. I take drugs
    4. I watch Port
    5. I got an abortion
    6. I burn flags

  47. Purity Balls are the result of baptizing one’s genitals in holy water. A little known sacrament.

  48. Some one should make a bumper sticker that says, I did your daughter at the Purity Ball.

  49. My favorate sex toy is the Ball Gag

  50. TrickyVic

    not a bumper sticker, a t-shirt. Honest to god it would be an instant cult classic. But have them made in baby ts for girls too, cuz you just never know.

  51. James Wagoner … is shocked to learn “that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) signed off on the funding increase.”

    Silly man- does he think the Speaker of the House has some sort of line-item veto power?

  52. “TrickyVic | November 8, 2007, 3:18pm | #

    Some one should make a bumper sticker that says, I did your daughter at the Purity Ball.”

    Then go around to your local Evangelical Mega-Churches and stick them on all the cars.

    Too funny!!!

  53. Sigh…

    During my days as a hard-core, conservative Catholic teenager, I was a prime example of everything the right wing bible-beaters would have wanted in a teenager: I never had sex as a teen nor did I even date. I spurned the evil sexual imagery that I was told permeates society. I even called a classmate a “whore” in a health class because she said that there was nothing immoral about pre-martial sex.

    Now, I’m 33 and still technically a virgin, but not by choice. Thanks to my anti-sex upbringing, I never learned how to associate with women. In point of fact, they scare me to death and my fear of rejection makes it all but impossible to seek out female companionship. (That and being fat, butt-ugly, poor, and bipolar doesn’t help either.)

    So teens of America. Take my advice: Don’t become like me. If you have the opportunity to fuck someone you love or even just like for the time being, DO IT!!!!

  54. This would be hilarious if it wasn’t so pathetic. I could have told them that for 1/2 the price. As a woman that got pregnant at the ripe age of 14 I could have told them their money would be much better spent on educating the very young.

    Young children and teens “ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX” and the best thing you can do is try to convince them to use protection and to put a serious sex education program as mandatory in ALL schools to give them as much information as possible. Also, how about programs for the one’s that didn’t get it, to give them all the help they need to have a healthy and happy baby and how to take care for that baby long term if they choose not to have an abortion.

    The sex education program I had in the early 60’s was a joke,parents didn’t discuss sex and not much has changed. These fools should be held accountable for such outrageous spending and that’s asuming they really did spend it on this research.

    How many births could we have possibly prevented by education for 141 million????

  55. So, abstinence education programs have produced as much in the way of desired outcomes as embryonic stem cell research.

    But I have a feeling a majority of the folks in these parts think funding the latter is A-OK.

  56. Sigh…what a waste of money. Those neocon, fundeMENTAL, nanny-state perverts have got it all wrong. Der Gummint should be spending our money on GENE MANIPULATION. Simply a tweak here and a tweak there and guys will be born with GIANT SCHLONGS. Then they can simply SUCK THEMSELVES OFF when they get the urge. Gals can get genes that give them GIANT CARNIVORE TEETH in their tushies as well. That way no-one with a GIANT MEATBAT can ravish them…e voila! No more NASTY, filthy, consensual horizontal Mambo dancing. Heck I’d rather be anally pumped by a nationally famous TV evangelist anyway…

    “Bain the size of a PLANET and here I am, sweeping out a spaceship…”

  57. “Jazz is the big brother of the blues. If a guy’s playing blues like we play, he’s in high school. When he starts playing jazz it’s like going on to college, to a school of higher learning.”
    – B. B. King

    High school sounds like a good place to start…

  58. who care or give a dind ong,just use CONDOMS and PLAN B PILLS,pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee all kids here and there with out wed lock,social security system is all screwd up and crime rate so high,so fook any thing you want to,just use condosm and plan b pills,specially you GREAT MEN ,out there lol KEEP PLAN B PILLS in your pockets insted of condoms and use give them to your 10 girlfriends before you bang them,

  59. i would go for plan B…

  60. it iz all true but if u love someone .. and u are with them all the time n u kno they love why use a condom it takes all the good feeln out?

  61. my fear of rejection makes it all but impossible to seek out female companionship

    Don’t worry. Charles Bukowski never had sex when he was a teenager, either. In fact, if hookers don’t count…

  62. Misti:

    Knowing you are out there… my guys are DEFINITELY wearing party hats!

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