Sex

Have You Hugged Your Principal Today?

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hug

The Chicago Tribune reports: "An Oak Park middle school has now instituted a no-hugging policy. The new policy at Percy Julian Middle School says the school's 860 students are not supposed to hug anywhere inside the building." Apparently, too many kids were feeling the love between classes, and clogging the hallways with their "hug lines"

Principal Victoria Sharts said hugging is more appropriate for airports or for family reunions than in a school.

And, of course, there's the ever-present threat of inappropriate hugging to be vigorously guarded against:

"There is another side to the issue when a hug is either unwanted or becomes inappropriate as judged by one of the students involved," wrote Principal Sharts.

Oak Park is following the lead of Fairfax, Virginia, with its hug crackdown.

To read about a better way, check out how Russia is encouraging hugs (and much, much more) amongst its young and fertile population.

NEXT: Happiness Is Habit-Forming—The More You Have, the More You Need

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  1. This just goes to show you that Katherine Mangu-Ward is a shill for Big Hug.

  2. Principal Victoria Sharts?

    Don’t squeeze too hard.

    What the Urban Dictionary has to say.

    Sounds like every school principal I’ve ever dealt with.

  3. That rule is just a throwback to my school days where the rule was shows of affection shall be limited to hand holding only.

    Course I think that was directed at couples making out in the hallways between classes, and, as we used to point out, the rule didn’t say what your hand could hold.

  4. Now, before anybody starts with the visions of paramilitary anti-hugging squads tasering kids at Percy Julian Middle School, keep in mind that the school has not banned hugging between classes, but is simply discouraging it.

    Why KMW was so careful to leave that out, I’m not sure.

  5. God forbid kids have to learn what is and isn’t appropriate social behavior during school hours. What do those kids think school is for? Learning?

  6. How silly to have a policy discouraging a behavior, but having the only consequences being a verbal reminder to get to class on time and keep going. What for, exactly?

    The answer here is clearly wider hallways

  7. There is another side to the issue when a hug is either unwanted or becomes inappropriate as judged by one of the students involved

    It’s for the autistic children . .

  8. “hug lines”? WTF? Are there really such things? Is it like when sports squads line up for the post game hand shakes? Or a line building for the sole purpose of hugging one person? WTF? “Hug lines”? Are they really that big?

    Now I’m going to be bothered all day trying to imagine the scenario.

  9. I mean, these “hug lines” must be HUGE to clog up the hallways………….

  10. Yes, the authorities’ ever-so-effective power of moral suasion…please! Guidelines like these rarely remain so because they are ignored and authorities become frustrated. Someone should time just how long it takes between the “guideline” and the inevitable rule.

  11. That rule is just a throwback to my school days where the rule was shows of affection shall be limited to hand holding only. –TWC

    In Catholic School, that was delivered as Leave six inches for the Holy Ghost.

    Kevin

  12. Hug lines? Perfect. My family was against it, so hugging seemed, well, only appropriate as a first course in the seduction of sweet young things.

    I was later disabused of that notion and properly trained by this blond chick’s eleven sisters that hugging was a good thing that should be practiced regularly. It took a while but I remain sold on the concept.

    Hell, I even hug my brother-in-law these days and he looks like Billy Gibbons (ZZ Top for you youngsters). All things considered, however, I’d rather hug chicks.

  13. In Catholic School, that was delivered as Leave six inches for the Holy Ghost.

    Six inches is not a safe distance for me! [/penis joke]

  14. This goes to show that this country is creeping toward PC Fascism. I predict that this country will collapse within 100 to 125 years. Sad. Really, really sad.

  15. I have a relative of mine that went to Percy Julian Jr High last year (I think he might still be enrolled there this year, but I am not sure because his mom wanted to get him out of there this year pretty bad)

    I can tell you first hand that they have much more pressing problems at this school than whether or not kids hug.

    The school has a gang and an out of district enrollment problem. The teachers are know-it alls who constantly whine about being too busy and overworked and never saw fit to notify my relative when her son wasn’t turning in homework until late in the semester.

    Things get stolen from lockers quite frequently and the school hasn’t done anything about it. They know about the problem, they just can’t find a solution.

    But I am sure this hugging provision will solve everything that ails Percy Julian.

  16. Just one more item of evidence to show that Demolition Man remains the most accurately prescient dystopian work to date.

  17. Principal Victoria Sharts said hugging is more appropriate for airports

    Yes, but if people get too emotional then between the tears and the runny nose they could have more than 3 oz of fluids.

  18. No hugging, no learning.

  19. Doktor T:

    and if the hugs linger, you’ll have more than three oz of fluids from yet another spot, too.

    (again, this is probably unnecessary)

    *turns up radio (“We got the Beat” by the Go Gos)

  20. Once again, I thank God I am done with government schools once and for all.

  21. In a few years these youngsters will be grateful that they won’t need to consult plastic surgeons to get rid of their unsightly hug lines.

  22. Cesar, my kids went to a private school for a while that was every bit as bad (in the pc sense) as the public school they now attend. Actually, I think the public school is better (dodges as lightening bolt) than the private school was in every respect.

  23. The funny thing is that if the school began encouraging students to hug each other, the same commenters would complain about how PC and touchy-feely schools are these days.

  24. “and if the hugs linger, you’ll have more than three oz of fluids from yet another spot, too.”

    Three ounces? Highly unlikely, VM, unless you’re implying hugging leads to golden showers in school hallways. I never attended a school quite that debauched.

  25. SCHOOLS ARE TOO TOUCHY-FEELY ARE THESE DAYS. NO HUGGING. AND THEY SHOULD WEAR CAPES.

  26. This is news? When I started junior high, over 20 years ago, hugging was prohibited in my school as well. If this is supposed to be an example of political correctness running amok in the 21st, all I can say is try again.

  27. vee chop down zee treez – very slowly und listen to zem skream.

    *froth froth*

  28. If you outlaw hugs, only outlaws will hug.

  29. Hugs, not thugs!

    Fire that incompetent prat today, before the school district loses a massive first-amendment case.

    -jcr

  30. I hate hugs.

  31. Look, hugging leads to boners. I know. I’m a recovering bonerholic.
    I got the help I needed. You can too.
    Call 1-800-BONERS9
    That’s 1-800-BONERS9
    1-800-BONERS9

  32. “There is another side to the issue when a hug is either unwanted or becomes inappropriate as judged by one of the students involved,” wrote Principal Sharts.

    Ms Sharts, go hug yourself.

  33. HAHAHAHA her name is sharts no wonder she never gets hugs!

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