Congress

This Is Why The Iraq Parliament Takes August Off

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August madness descends on deliberative bodies worldwide. Iraqi members of parliament have the good sense not to vote on anything during the dog days–it's too darn hot. But here in the good old U S of A, our elected representatives persevere:

The House of Representatives almost turned into the Fight Club Thursday night, when Democrats ruled that a GOP motion had failed even though, when the gavel fell, the electronic score board showed it winning 215-213 along with the word FINAL. The presiding officer, Rep. Mike McNulty (D., N.Y.), actually spoke over the clerk who was trying to announce the result.

In the ensuing confusion several members changed their votes and the GOP measure to deny illegal aliens benefits such as food stamps then trailed 212-216. Boiling-mad Republicans stormed off the floor. The next day, their fury increased when they learned electronic records of the vote had disappeared from the House's voting system.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi made matters worse when she told reporters, "There was no mistake made last night." Majority Leader Steny Hoyer had to rescue her by acknowledging that, while he thought no wrongdoing had occurred, the minority party was "understandably angry." Under pressure, the House unanimously agreed to create a select committee, with subpoena powers, to investigate Republican charges the vote had been "stolen."

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  1. I like it when legislators are fighting each other over there so they aren’t regulating us over here.

  2. I would like it better if they started chucking shoes at each other Taiwan-style.

  3. Ah, representative democracy. Here it is, world; the goddam pinnacle.

  4. “…deny illegal aliens benefits such as food stamps…”

    The ONLY way those criminals should be be fed with tax money is in jail, while they wait for deportation!

  5. The ONLY way those criminals should be be fed with tax money is in jail, while they wait for deportation!

    I think they should earn their keep, KenK. Make them do construction work, pick crops, wash dishes, etc.

    Oh, wait…

  6. “Under pressure, the House unanimously agreed to create a select committee, with subpoena powers, to investigate Republican charges the vote had been ‘stolen.'”

    Just like the 2000 election….

  7. Yeah, we’re uh, taking a little vacation.

    (Checks pocket for ticket to Dubai. Tightens grip on black garbage bag full of $100 bills).

  8. DOKTOR T!

    naughty!

    I think KenK should read Plato’s Allegory of the Cave to them while they’re riding Greyhound to the border…

    then he’d be the perfect embodiment of the Prufrockian “a useful tool”! (much like Mr. Underhill. Stop me if I cross reference again)

    Contest: what should KenK do to be a part of his solution?

  9. oh! oh! oh!

    KenK in a WOMBY VAULTAGE situation with some Hwipped cream (sic – family guy), the Noam Chomsky Blow Up Doll, and the leather-bound edition of “Heather Has Two Mommies” (with the sweaty pillow fight scene on page 69).

    He would have to diagram sentences and teach them partial differential equations.

  10. Under pressure, the House unanimously agreed to create a select committee, with subpoena powers, to investigate Republican charges the vote had been “stolen.”

    Do what? Was this vote conducted by secret ballot? Because if not, you can just ask everyone how they voted. You don’t need a freaking committee to do that!

  11. I need a ruling here – is this twaddleknockery, or just jackassery?

    I recommend appointing a special committee to point at Mike McNulty and say “Ha ha!” And call for a do-over. I just hope the House Parliamentarian isn’t still under the review hood when they come back from commercial.

    Son of a!,

    Voted, when? Some members changed their votes when they saw what the outcome was going to have soon to have been (I think I got the verb tense right there). So, which vote was their real vote?

  12. Chucking shoes isn’t enough. They need to install Highlander-style battles to the death.

  13. joe – why both twaddlenockery and jackassery!

    and it gets two DEMAND KURVs and a MATT DAMON, too!

    But, Legate, there can be only one. (hmmm. switch the position of “only” around for fun effect)

  14. Wasn’t Prufrock’s problem that he had no “useful tool,” as it were?

  15. Viagra’s new spokesperson: J. Alfred!!!!!!!!

  16. KenK,
    “…deny illegal aliens benefits such as food stamps…”

    The ONLY way those criminals should be be fed with tax money is in jail, while they wait for deportation!”

    Oh Ken, I misread your post! I thought you were talking about the politicians, not illegals…

  17. joe:

    It was my understanding that this committee wasn’t going to be some “hanging chad” recount thing, but just a post mortem on the event to see if votes were miscounted, punish somebody (presumably Democrats, since they won the second vote tally), and because they have to Do Something[TM]. If I’m mistaken about the purpose of the committee, I withdraw my complaint.

  18. The Democrats can’t do this type of stuff well (outside of Chicago and Philadelphia). DeLay used do this type of thing blatently and then would tell them to fuck themselves. Clyburn ain’t no “Hammer” by a long shot.

  19. “Make them do construction work, pick crops, wash dishes, etc.

    Oh, wait…”

    Oh, wait, Oh wait – they can work all those jobs for cash, never pay any taxes and STILL feed at the public trough on my nickel.

    If things really work out for them, some day they’ll be able to collect Social Security without ever paying a dime into it.

  20. I’m not a racist, but I play one at Hit and Run.

  21. “I thought you were talking about the politicians, not illegals…”

    I’d suggest an Aztec approach to politicians – let them serve for a year and then serve them, to the next group of politicians.

  22. The first rule of the House of Representatives is, you do not tell anyone about the House of Representatives.

    The second rule of the House of Representatives is, YOU DO NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES!

  23. Oh, wait, Oh wait – they can work all those jobs for cash, never pay any taxes and STILL feed at the public trough on my nickel.

    What percentage of illegals “never pay any taxes?” What percentage of illegals “feed at the public trough?” What percentage of legals do?

  24. What percentage of illegals “never pay any taxes?”

    I’m pretty sure you can’t get them to tell you. Maybe you could make it a law that they have to tell?

    Oh Wait…

    ***

    What percentage of illegals “feed at the public trough?”

    Probably against the rules to ask – in LA the cops can’t even ask if they commit a crime. I doubt they keep track at the welfare office.

  25. KenK:

    tour guide to the Homes of the Hollywood Stars.

    KenK:

    cleans out Koko’s living area.
    (Endorsement from Koko: “kiss shovel honk honk”)

    KenK:

    chief busboy at Charlie Trotter’s

    KenK:

    actuarial scientist for the Nabisco company!

  26. In other words, KenK, you don’t know. You might inquire before making broad assumptions.

  27. Prufrockian (pru-FROK-i-uhn) adjective

    Marked by timidity and indecisiveness, and beset by unfulfilled aspirations.

    ***

    So you didn’t see the other thread where I suggested 2,000 miles concertina wire and bringing the II Infantry Division home from Korea and having them patrol the border. Bring the troops home from Germany and put them on the border too!

    I’m thinking that light machine guns would completly lack “timidity and indecisiveness”.

    I must confess to having a number of “unfulfilled aspirations” tho. ‘course now I’m just too old for many of them.

  28. VM, those all sound like “jobs this citizen won’t do”.

    thx fer playin but try agin

  29. “In other words, KenK, you don’t know.”

    Oh, I know for an absolute fact that in sanctuary cities the police don’t even ask criminals if they are legal residents. Not a huge assuption to doubt that the people handing out food stamps are asking that question.

  30. Are the concertina wire, the troops and machine guns to keep The Mexicans out or to keep Americans in?

  31. Oh, I know for an absolute fact that in sanctuary cities the police don’t even ask criminals if they are legal residents.

    So, if a guy is convicted of burglary in a “sanctuary city,” they won’t determine if he’s a legal or illegal immigrant? That sounds kind of unlikely. Do you have a reference?

    Besides that, though, my point was that you don’t know how what percentage of illegal immigrants rely on public services (compared to legal residents). And you certainly don’t know that they don’t pay taxes, because they do.

  32. What percentage of illegals “never pay any taxes?”

    I’m pretty sure you can’t get them to tell you. Maybe you could make it a law that they have to tell?

    What might such a law look like?

    Let me take a shot: No person shall be denied the right to employment or trade due to immigration status.

    Yep. That should do it.

  33. WELLWHATDOYOUKNOW!!

    ask.com
    how many illegal immigrants are on welfare

    http://www.visalaw.com/03mar3/14mar303.html

    Recently, the Center for Immigration Studies (CIS) reviewed the Census Bureau figures for four major welfare programs and reported that immigrant welfare usage has increased since 1996, when legislation was passed to curtail their usage.

    The CIS reports states that the decline in TANF and food stamp use has not resulted in a significant savings for taxpayers because it has been almost entirely offset by increases in the costs of providing Medicaid to immigrant households. They believe that the only way to significantly reduce immigrant welfare use in the future is to admit fewer unskilled immigrants, because it is impossible to exclude immigrants and their children from the welfare system once they have been allowed into the country. In 2001, 23 percent of immigrant-headed households used at least one major welfare program, compared to 15 percent of native households.

    ***

    It appears that the anchor baby is the lynchpin of the system:

    Illegal immigrant-led residences were able to receive welfare because of their U.S. born children’s eligibility.

  34. How can we help out un-documented un-depositors (otherwise known as bank robbers)?

    What might such a law look like?

    Let me take a shot: No person shall be denied the right to withdraw money due to customer status.

  35. IT’S NOT THAT KENK WOULD NOT DO THOSE JOBS IS THAT HE IS NOT QUALIFIED TO DO THOSE JOBS.

    HE CURRENTLY IS THE JUNIOR SPUNK BUCKET HOLDER FOR THE URKOBOLD BATIN TEAM.

    IF HE IMPROVES, HE WILL BE ALLOWED TO USE A MOP FOR CLEANING AND NOT HIS BARE HANDS AND A TWIZZLE STRAW.

  36. It appears that the anchor baby is the lynchpin of the system:

    Illegal immigrant-led residences were able to receive welfare because of their U.S. born children’s eligibility.

    I am fully in favor of putting the citizen children of immigrants under the same welfare restrictions as their parents.

  37. “So, if a guy is convicted of burglary in a “sanctuary city,” they won’t determine if he’s a legal or illegal immigrant? That sounds kind of unlikely. Do you have a reference?”

    ***
    Just search a bit – not hard to find info.

    http://www.judicialwatch.org/so40.shtml

    Special Order 40 is a police mandate that originated in 1979 by former Los Angeles Police Chief Gates and the L.A. City Council to prevent police from inquiring about the immigration status of arrestees. The downside to Special Order 40 is quite substantial because it is a powerful incentive for more illegal immigrants to flaunt U.S. law. Illegal immigrants recognize Los Angeles – and many other cities that have adopted similar laws – as a safe haven where they can’t be touched because of their immigration status. Special Order 40 is also at odds with the law. No police officer can be ordered to ignore and flout the law, including federal immigration laws.

  38. Since this has become an immigration thread, I agree with MikeP.

  39. Let me take a shot: No person shall be denied the right to withdraw money due to customer status.

    I suppose I must point out the difference between your example and mine. You see, in my example the employer wants to employ the worker. In your example, the bank operator does not want to give the robber money.

    I realize it’s a subtle distinction.

  40. “And you certainly don’t know that they don’t pay taxes, because they do.”

    Yeah, I’m sure all those guys hanging out on street corners and at the local Home Depot are all filing their quarterly estimated tax forms and sending them in with the payments of income and self-employment (SS) taxes due.

    ROFLMAO

    Yeah, I don’t KNOW that that’s not happening, but I think my chance of winning the lottery are at about the same level.

  41. Special Order 40 is a police mandate that originated in 1979 by former Los Angeles Police Chief Gates and the L.A. City Council to prevent police from inquiring about the immigration status of arrestees.

    Well, that’s different from “police don’t even ask criminals if they are legal residents,” since an “arrestee” is not a “criminal.”

    Also, your findings that 23% of immigrant headed households use welfare services says nothing about illegal immigrants and even less about your blanket statement implying that all illegals “feed at the public trough.”

  42. Kenk,

    You said illegals “never pay any taxes.” I said they did. And they do. I didn’t say they paid income taxes and social security taxes (though some do). I’m just striving for clarity and accuracy and I wish you’d do the same.

  43. “You see, in my example the employer wants to employ the worker.”

    Well of course he does! He can pay the worker less, no benefits, no pesky SS employer taxes, no OSHA – it’s all good – FOR THE EMPLOYER.

    Not so much for the run-of-the-mill W-2 wage slave taxpayer like me. It’s me that has to pay the extra taxes.

    The bank operator does not EVER give the robber ANY of his own money – the bank operator gets the money from the actual bank customers (and the insurance is paid for by the bank customers also, in case you thought “covered by insurance” means nobody pays).

    I realize it’s a subtle distinction.

  44. Les,

    I coulfn’t agree more – all income taxes should be eliminated and replaced with import duties and sales taxes!

  45. KenK, if all immigrant labor is legalized, then immigrants can and will work above the table — taxes, SS, OSHA, W-2, and all.

    It is the premise that their labor should be illegal that causes them to try to hide it.

  46. KENK IS TEH DEMAND KURV!!!111!!!

  47. “if all immigrant labor is legalized”

    So then we don’t have any borders?

    Or what?

    Should we have well protected borders but anybody who gets in is home free?

    That’ll end well. Especially for all the citizens currently at the bottom of the pile.

  48. The US should have modestly protected borders, but prospective immigrants should be forbidden entry only for justifiable cause.

    “The quota is reached” is not justifiable cause.

  49. How can we help out un-documented un-depositors (otherwise known as bank robbers)?

    Well, I, for one, draw a distinction between illegal immigration and illegal bank robbery.

    That is, there is no such thing as “legal” bank robbery. The victims of bank robbery are obvious and real.

    “Illegal” immigration is a completely artificial concept. Find me an obvious and real victim.

  50. That KenK, you have to admit, is pretty damn good at hijacking a thread about something else and making it about his hobby horse.

  51. Pug-

    Yep. I shouldn’t have fed the troll.

    Or at least I should have walked drove to Whole Feeds to buy some hormone-free New Zealand lamb and then fed that to him.

  52. “Illegal” immigration is a completely artificial concept. Find me an obvious and real victim.

    Here are three:

    Any citizen that can’t find a job.

    Any citizen being paid less because illegal immigration has lowered wages rates due to the increased supply of labor.

    Any citizen who now can’t get treatment at a local emergency room because the hospital closed it due to unpaid bills incurred by illegal immigrants.

  53. “prospective immigrants should be forbidden entry only for justifiable cause”

    The “common good” of the citizens doesn’t qualify in your mind, does it? Espesially of the common folk – the effete, elite, trustifarian and entrepreneurial classes definitely benefit from immigration, especially illegal immigration.

  54. The “common good” of the citizens doesn’t qualify in your mind, does it?

    Actually, it does. All but the very lowest skilled workers — i.e., high school dropouts — find their standard of living raised by immigration, including low skilled immigration that at this time happens to be illegal.

    It is you who are taking a stance that, in the name of protecting a small segment of society, punishes everyone else in the society.

  55. Well, you’ve convinced me, MikeP.

    Screw the high-school drop-outs, open the flood-gates!

  56. PEEK A BOO, KENK!!!!

    it’s kkkkkk-kenk komin with ekonomics.

    NEENER NEENER

    COMB YER BEARD. AND YER MERKIN. MERKIN. MERKIN MERKIN MERKIN.

    MERKIN.

    BOYB! BRING YOUR OWN BOO-YAH!

    BACKATCHA.

  57. KenK,

    I generally don’t let urban legends set my priorities so you won’t get very far with that stuff.

    It must be comforting to look around at complex problems and believe that it’d all be just fine if it weren’t for the Mexicans.

  58. “KenK | August 6, 2007, 2:49pm | #

    In 2001, 23 percent of immigrant-headed households used at least one major welfare program, compared to 15 percent of native households.”

    That’s nice, but pointless. Now tell me if ILLEGAL immigrant headed households use welfare more than native households or not (not “Immgrant headed households”, I want to know about “Illegal immigrant headed households”).

  59. You have all convinced me. I’m part of the ever shrinking middle-class but I have nothing to fear from the illegal immigrants. They cost me nothing. They are a great benefit to me. I’ve got my mind right now.

    Open the borders wide!

    Hard cheese for poor US citizens, but great news for the poor Mexicans. Good news for the rich Mexicans too – they get rid of their jobless citizens and get a big influx of US dollars sent home by the immigrants.

  60. I’m part of the ever shrinking middle-class…

    Holy crap! Everybody’s a victim now!

    What the hell is this “ever shrinking middle-class” bwazwah?

    Evidence that the “middle-class” is “ever shrinking” please! Good God Almighty, what a huge sense of self-entitlement you have. DEY TUK AR JERBS!

    But, then, hey, if we can’t hire cheap labor here I guess we have to close our borders to any goods produced anywhere else. Forget protective tariffs, let’s go whole hog. Close the borders, no immigrants, hell NO VISITORS, NO TOURISTS (goddamn Eurotrash tourists at Disneyworld speaking their French and German – learn English, for Christ’s sakes).

    Why should a good pure white middle class American like me be forced to buy goods made by some stinking Frenchman or German. No more Bordeaux wine (New York State plonk is good enough for me) or Mercedes Benzes (well, they are overrated crap).

    And forget that Japanese stuff. Godammit, buy a real American car, Made by a real white American not a rice-burner made by some slant eyed gook.

    Everything we need we can have produced right here at home in the USA by true red-blooded white Americans. All we need is enough subsidies to make it possible to grow bananas in the Hudson River Valley.

    Yep. We’ll all be so much better off once we close off the foreign menace.

  61. “grow bananas in the Hudson River Valley”

    Yeah, I can see where you’d have a hard time getting along without your bananas.

  62. PEEK A BOO!!!!!

    KKKKKEEEEENNNNNKKKKKK HAS A BANANA IN HIS TAILPIPE

  63. Les- You ask what percentage of illegals use public services compared to legal. Well think about it what other services are they going to use exactly? The ones their homeland provided for them, nope since they don’t provide anything for them. That statement makes no sense because anyone here legal or not in need of services will be using the public services of this country. After all this is the COUNTRY they are in where the hell else will they get getting assistance?

  64. “Why should a good pure white middle class American…”

    ” Made by a real white American not a rice-burner made by some slant eyed gook.”

    “true red-blooded white Americans.”

    oooh, I know… Strawman.

    Why is it that the race baiters always, fucking ALWAYS are the ones who throw around the racial slurs. I am a bit disappointed in you Isaac; you failed to work the N word into your apoplectic drivel.

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