Eine Kleine Bus Stop Musik

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If there is one thing drug dealers can't stand, it's classical music:

Transit workers are installing speakers this week to pump classical music from Seattle's KING-FM into the Tacoma Mall Transit Center. The tactic is designed to disperse young criminals who make drug deals at the bus stop or use public transportation to circulate between the mall and other trouble-prone places…

The attack by Bach, Brahms and Beethoven follows the theory that prompted the city to stage pinochle games on dangerous street corners: Jolting the routine in such spots throws criminals off balance.

What is apparently lost on the proponents of this plan is perfectly clear to a bus riding teenager:

Vrahmel Obleanis, 19, playing a Nintendo GameBoy at the mall bus stop, said troublemakers won't like the orchestral strains, but they'll probably just move somewhere out of earshot.

"They'll say, 'This is whack,' and go over and hang out at the mall or by Babies 'R' Us," Obleanis said. "The music isn't going to change the attitude of the kids."

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  1. OR, they’ll just vandalize (disable) the speakers.

  2. Or vandalize the sound system, or overwhelm it with their “ghetto blasters”.

  3. They tried that in A Clockwork Orange. There were mixed results.

  4. Ludwig von Beethoven: My Anti-Drug

  5. Wait, there are kids walking around who aren’t shutting out the world, listening to their iPods at all times? Not around here…

  6. Um, why is this news? Various local government and stores have been doing this for twenty years or so.

  7. AHHhhh Lovely lovely Ludwig Von.

  8. Who says “this is whack” anymore?

    Then says “The music isn’t going to change the attitude of the kids.”

    I’m calling fictional teen.

  9. StupendousMan,

    Maybe Vrahmel said this in 1991 (which would explain the GameBoy as well) and they’re just using the quote now.

  10. yo man that’s whack. Drugs are the bomb. Classical music is for real melvins.

  11. Great idea, government. Everyone knows that drugs and high quality music NEVER mix well.

  12. I’m calling fictional teen.

    Vrahmel Obleanis, 19, playing a Nintendo GameBoy…

    He’s playing a Gameboy, he says “whack”. I think this inteview was done in 1988 or so. Or else he a monster Kris Kross fan.

  13. Just wait until these kids start drinking drug-laced milk and terrorize bus stop denizens with their droogs. Next thing you know they’ll be performing the ol’ in-out, in-out with lasses in broad daylight.

    He’s playing a Gameboy, he says “whack”. I think this interview was done in 1988 or so.

    Unless he’s playing a Gameboy Advance or a DS. Then it could be from this decade. Of course the fact that he said, “This is whack,” is more questionable.

  14. I would think that some country music of the real belly’achin, sappy variety would work better. “My ol’ lady left me and took the trailer” just can’t be good for crack sales.

    However, bus stop suicides might become the new problem…..

  15. This will totally work. The dealers will be weirded out by the classical music. They’ll have to turn up the volume on their iPods and won’t be able to hear their customers! Brilliant!

  16. Vrahmel Obleanis, 19, playing a Nintendo GameBoy at the mall bus stop, said troublemakers won’t like the orchestral strains, but they’ll probably just move somewhere out of earshot.

    Which would serve the purpose. Anyone who thinks that classical music will soothe the savage beast just hasn’t been paying attention. But if you can get said beast to shuffle off and be annoying out of earshot, that can be an acceptable second-best.

    I’m reminded of the creedo of The Milford School, “Where Children Are To Be Neither Seen, Nor Heard”.

  17. wack, not whack

  18. Loose seal!!!

  19. “Wack” is stil crunkified in my book. Even if it wasn’t birthed in this willenium.

    BTW, is that why I find it so hard to shoplift at the grocery store,with Air Supply droppin’ from the PA and all?

  20. Then again, if by “classical” they mean Wagner, they could inadvertently turn those lethargic druggies into homicidal ?bermenschen. Unintended consequences, and all that.

  21. Just connecting dots here, but I’m thinking Vrahmel Obleanis is the product of an ACORN voter registration drive.

  22. Food alright?

    Try the wine!

  23. Only 22 comments.
    Libertarianism and serious music = oil and water.

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