Carmona Not Glue


Just how deep does the rot run in Dick Cheney's Bushitler administration? The Voldemort of American politics has even taken to silencing the Surgeon General, that costumed crypt-keeper of all that is good and decent and kind and wise and knowing in these troubled times. Says former SG Richard Carmona:

"Anything that doesn't fit into the political appointees' ideological, theological or political agenda is often ignored, marginalized or simply buried," he said. "The problem with this approach is that in public health, as in a democracy, there is nothing worse than ignoring science or marginalizing the voice of science for reasons driven by changing political winds."

Carmona says he was told to shaddup about stem cell research and the morning-after pill Plan B. He was talking to a committee convened by Rep. Henry Waxman (D-Calif.) and joined by two other ex-surgeons general, David Satcher, who served under (cough, cough) Bill Clinton, and C. Everett Koop (who served under Reagan and is now a PFC in the Kiss Army). Satcher told a tale of political buttinskyism too. The Wash Post reports:

Satcher, Carmona's predecessor, who served from 1998 to 2002, said that under President Bill Clinton he could not release a report on sexuality and public health, in part because of sensitivities triggered by the Monica Lewinsky scandal.

Clinton also forced out Joycelyn Elders as surgeon general in 1994 after her controversial remarks that public schools should consider teaching about masturbation.

On that last point, just think what would have happened had schools actually started teaching masturbation. Talk about federal overreach! If there's one thing you don't even need vouchers for, much less a centralized curriculum, it's probably masturbation. I imagine that within a few years, American students' standing in international rankings would have dropped through the floor.

And speaking of jerking off, here's a quote from C. Everett Koop's autobiography about why he made the decision to put the uniform on:

"Once confirmed, I was entitled to wear a uniform….I put it on immediately….There is something about a uniform…. There were a couple of times on airplanes when elderly women mistook me for a steward, handed me their luggage, and confidently assumed that I would put it in the overhead compartment. I always complied immediately."

In any case, more on Carmona blah blah here.

Odd Surgeon General fact: The first Bush's SG, Antonia Novello, is the sister-in-law of Don "Fr. Guido Sarducci" Novello, of old Saturday Night Live fame.

Dogmatic libertarian thought of the day: Just abolish the post of Surgeon General already. Who would know?

Mandatory obscure headline pun explanation here

NEXT: Losing the War on Terror

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  1. As I recall, Koop (a staunch pro-lifer) had the integrity to issue a report, stating a woman’s health was better served by having an abortion than carrying the child to term and giving birth. IIRC he didn’t want to do the study, but the president insisted. After the next election cycle he was informed his services would no longer be required.

    Koop was also at the vanguard to take down big-tobacco.

  2. Now he’s doing cheesy medical alert commercials.

  3. Bah, a Ramones reference isn’t obscure. Dead Boys, maybe.

  4. If I wanted to create the most idiotic and wasteful government program in the history of the UNIVERSE, it would be masturbation classes. Joycelyn Elders’ biggest mistake was to think that somehow kids need to be taught how to masturbate. If memory serves me correctly, the mostivation factor pretty much ensures that it is a skill gleefully developed by its practitioners.

  5. When I saw that commercial I thought “dude, did you forget to sell your”

  6. Bah, A dead boys reference isn’t obscure. Chrome, maybe.


  7. Dr. Carmona was a complete j*****s of a surgeon general to begin with. It probably was a good thing that they cut out some of his statements before they became public.

    Of course his final act of declaring second hand smoke as dangerous as smoking itself, based on no evidence, before he left office to run an over priced fat farm in AZ. probably is a good indicator of the beloved “science” he is so concerned about.

  8. WTF is the point of references if you have to explain them?

    Maybe 3 or 4 years ago The Sopranos had an episode where Carmella bitched at Tony for having the patio furniture on the lawn. His response: “Yeah, I know–bad for glass.” Fucking perfect, as is–it was not required for him to say “Hey, that was from Chinatown, you know.”

    Stop it, now.

  9. For all the latest medical poop,
    Call Surgeon General C. Everett Koop.
    Poo poo pa-doop.

  10. Bah! A dead Boys reference isn’t obscure.
    A Linedrive reference, maybe.

  11. All right, kids. Take this to the hipster-librarian thread.

    Too bad Carmona didn’t stand up for what he believes, huh?

  12. The Surgeon Generals office is just one of many goverment offices that need to be eliminated.I’d also include Commerce,Education and Fatherland,uh,I mean Homeland Security ect…

  13. Um… Mr. Sarducci was originally on SCTV. I thinks.

  14. Ha! Lamar has never heard of the great hardcore band Linedrive.


  15. Michael Pack,
    What about the alphabet soup? FTC, FDA, FEC, FCC, DEA, USDA…

  16. Don’t forget I.R.S.

  17. Was Carmona told to “shaddup” about stem cell research or embryonic stem cell research? The administration thinks there’s significant ethical issues with the latter, issues that render scientific arguments moot. Perhaps, the administration thought Carmona was representing his personal policy preferences on that issue and not “Science”?

  18. “Rep. Henry A. Waxman (D-Calif.), the House panel’s chairman, called for Congress to take steps to insulate the office from political influence. “We shouldn’t allow the surgeon general to be politicized,” he said. “It is the doctor to the nation. That person needs to have credibility, independence and to speak about science.”

    The Surgeon General is a position in the government, the process by which the government makes decisions on what policies to implement is known as “politics”. The Surgeon General’s office is a creature of politics by its essential nature. Waxman is being a fool or disingenuous by calling for the office to be depoliticized, it cannot. I suspect that depoliticization is not what Waxman is after, rather he wants to office to advocate for the policies he prefers.

  19. On that last point, just think what would have happened had schools actually started teaching masturbation. Talk about federal overreach! If there’s one thing you don’t even need vouchers for, much less a centralized curriculum, it’s probably masturbation. I imagine that within a few years, American students’ standing in international rankings would have dropped through the floor.

    There are international rankings in masterbation? Where do we-uh-come in?

  20. Uh, wait a second. Elders wasn’t talking about teaching kids to masturbate more skillfully, she was talking about promoting masturbation as an absolutely safe alternative to horny kids instead of trying sex which carries all sorts of risks for them. She was talking about how masturbation should be stripped of its social stigma so that kids would feel more comfortable doing it AS AN ALTERNATIVE.

    I can’t believe you guys got that so wrong.

  21. @ LarryA | July 11, 2007, 3:43pm:
    “There are international rankings in masterbation? Where do we-uh-come in?”

    We don’t have a choke hold on first place, but we are pulling a head.

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