The Treason of Bumper Stickers

Via Matt Yglesias, here's a slide of Mitt Romney's PowerPoint on Islamic fundamentalist terror no-goodniks:

This doesn't recall John Edwards–its intended target—as much as it does the surrealist art of René Magritte.

So the question has changed; it is no longer Hugh Hewitt's question. Is America ready for a Belgian president? Is there at least a "Belgian Sarkozy" neoconservatives could glom onto in making the case for Romney Presidente? 

Comments

[joe]

Man, I suspect those stickers are going to end up like DARE tee-shirts: far more popular for their ironic effect than for sending the intended message.

[VM]

joe - do you remember back in 84 when people put "Run Jesse Run" bumper stickers on their front bumpers?

heh!

Hell, I still bust out my Dukakis thong when I want the "no tan line" effect!

[de stijl]

Magritte was a troll.

[highnumber]

I ? Magritte!

I can turn my head and see a Magritte poster right now. It's a good thing.

[joe]

VM,

I do. While I consider such a stunt barbaric and racist, the inherent humor cannot be denied.

[Chucklehead]

I can turn my head and see a Magritte poster right now. It's a good thing.

But it's what you can't see that makes it art.

[highnumber]

Racist why?
Simply because the target is black?

I call knee-jerk!

[joe]

highnumber,

Do you know recall who, and where, were doing that with the Jesse Jackson bumper stickers?

Denial can be kneejerk, too.

[John]

I always thought the "Impeach Clinton and her Husband to" stickers were mildly amusing. My favorite political bumber sticker of all time though is from 1972 and read "Why change dicks in the middle of the screw, Tricky Dickey in 72". A childhood friend of mine's father still had it on his car in like 1983. And you know what, it was still funny.

[steveintheknow]

Hell, I still bust out my Dukakis thong when I want the "no tan line" effect!

With stray merkin fibers spilling out of the front, yielding the "tarantula" effect?

I should hope so.

[VM]

It sure can be racist - probably we can think of people for whom it would be.

The only person I remember doing this (Tom C.) did it as a form of political irony, and it didn't seem as though it had anything to do with race. He contrasted Jackson's views with his Goldwater views (man, what a freakin dinosaur he was back then!)

Steve - you betcha! Sometimes I put multicolored beads on the tarantula.

Tarantula in front. Whale's tail in back. It's the mullet of the new decade!

[highnumber]

joe,
Lighten up! I guess I should have added one of these to the end of that comment:
😉

[John]

No one has a good sense of humor anymore. All the political bumber stickers I see are completely earnest and devoid of any sense of humor or irony. The people who put the "War on Terror is not a Bumber Sticker" do so in all seriousness having no clue of the unintended humor in it. I can forgive the "Chimpy McHitler" types for being nutcases, but I can't forgive them for being so damned unfunny.

[John]

I forgot the other great bumber sticker slogan, which I am not old enough to have seen but am told on good authority once existed. In 1964 the Goldwater campaign slogan was "In your heart you know he is right". To which Johnson supporters made bumber stickers that said "In your Gut you know he is nuts". Now that is funny. Too bad no one around today is that creative or funny.

[joe]

highnumber,

Sorry. You wouldn't believe some the b.s. accusations of racism I have to put up with.

[joe]

The Darwin fish are pretty funny.

I actually saw a guy whose Darwin fish was mounting a Jesus fish from the rear. Now that's just not very nice.

[John]

Joe the Darwin fish are funny, except that I wonder what many of the people who have them would think if someone made a funny symbol out of say the star and crescent. My guess is that at least some of them if not most of them would think it was horribly offensive and racist and refuse to have them on their cars, which kind of takes the fun out of the darwin fish.

[shockcorridor]

I don't know how half the people here in Austin can see out of their rear windshields. Every available inch is covered with some of the most sanctimonious bullshit you could ever not want to read. My favorites: "Stop Bitching Start a Revolution" yeah right. And the worst of all "If You're Not Totally Appalled You Haven't Been Paying Attention." I wish some of these smug humorless narcissists would just cut to the chase and tape on their car: "I'm Smarter Than You and If You Don't Think the Way I Do then You're Evil."

[steveintheknow]

And of course there was the "Dole-Kemp" sticker that quickly became "Role-Hemp"...Bouya!!!

"It's the mullet of the new decade!"

That is Awsome!

Hmmmmmm....so if I ditch the merk' would I have the "skullet" of the new decade?

[John]

Another good bumper sticker,
"think globally, act idiotically"

[VM]

Steve-

your knowledge is impressive. Do you also subscribe to the merkin quarterly, "Landing Strip". The editorial by "the Brazilian" is fantastic!

[John]

Role Hemp. Steve that is funny.

[steveintheknow]

shockcorridor

Yes yes yes!!!!

So true.

And the best part is that all of those stickers were created with splices of cut up Waterloo Records stickers. 🙂

[thoreau]

When I was going to one of my interviews, the guy who was going to pick me up from the airport said he'd be in a Prius. Then I took a look at his picture on his web page. And he didn't look like a hippie or anything, but there was just something in his face that, when combined with the Prius, elicited the spontaneous thought "That Prius will be covered in bumper stickers."

Sure enough, it was.

Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy, I'm looking forward to working with him, and I couldn't care less how many bumper stickers he has. But somehow I just knew it would be covered in bumper stickers. And it was.

It's scary to have these psychic powers. 🙂

[shockcorridor]

steveintheknow

And don't forget every polished clean cut brand spanking new SUV driving yuppie cheerleader with a "Keep Austin Weird" sticker!
I almost spit out my coffee with laughter when I saw "PEACEMONGER" on a car the other day. And the Obama '08 stickers are multiplying so that the saintly white people can let the world know that they might vote a black guy.

[John]

"And don't forget every polished clean cut brand spanking new SUV driving yuppie cheerleader with a "Keep Austin Weird" sticker!"

I lived in Central Texas for about seven years. God, is that the truth. Those stickers never seem to be on some old vanigan or broken down Volvo stationwagon. They are inevietably on some shinny new Nisson or Toyota SUV. Why that doesn't strike them as when they put the sticker on the shinny mainline family vehicle is beyond me.

[Bhh]

My uber-republican uncle had an ironic Rainbow Coalition tshirt way back in the 80s. That was the O'Rourkean golden age before the churchy types took over and they had legit claim to teh funny.

[SPD]

I've never been impressed with anyone whose entire political philosophy can be summed up on a 5 x 12" adhesive strip.

"I'm Pro-Life and I Vote": What do you want, schmuck? A cookie?
"War is not the answer": Unless the question is, "What does W-A-R spell?"

My personal favorite is "Visualize Whirled Peas."

[steveintheknow]

VM

No I don't but I here it is fabu'. Much better then the movie, or so they say.

As soon as my subscription to Modern Drunkard runs out I will consider the substitution. 😉

john

Yeah, I liked it too. Of course then everyone had to get one. Biters.

[joe]

John,

I daresay that I encounter more of the Darwin Fish sort of people than you, and no, they don't have any more respect for Islam than they do for Christianity.

[Untermensch]

My favorite bumper sticker? "Clinton was a better liar"

[thoreau]

Hey! I had a Darwin fish, and I'm a Catholic!

Some of us just REALLY like poking fun at fundies.

[J sub D]

Joe the Darwin fish are funny, except that I wonder what many of the people who have them would think if someone made a funny symbol out of say the star and crescent.

The Star of David you might be able to get away with. The crescent moon I don't think so. As a rule, Jews have a sense of irony/humor. Muslims, as a rule, don't. Make fun of Islam and they might burn down your embassy. I know that seems farfetched but something like that could possibly happen. Really.
It goes without saying you would be labelled Islamophobic.

[John]

Maybe so Joe. I don't find the Darwin fish particularly mean spirited. They never bothered me and I would think anyone who is a committed Christian would just roll their eyes at them. I don't think I have ever met anyone who was offended by them.

[shockcorridor]

I passed by a car the other day near the Texas state capitol that had some pro-union sticker . I've only been here a year and had to wonder if there is ANY unionized labor in this state? I mean after all the economy is here is so damn healthy. I wanted to promptly dump this driver into the uber-unionized shithole of Philadelphia and force them to start a business.
Last night there was a car that had one that said "Fear the Government that Fears Your Gun." Some sanity reigns in Austin.

[VM]

Darwin fish isn't the symbolically equivalent form of the Star of David.

*strikes jaunty pose

[John]

Thoreau,

I don't see an issue with you being Catholic and putting the Darwin fish. The fish is about Christ not creation. You can beleive in Christ and not doubt evolution. In some ways, I never quite got the Darwin fish thing, because the fish doesn't necessarily deny Darwin. But oh well.

[John]

Shockcorridor,

Was the pro union sticker on a Japanese car? Perhaps one made in a non-union American plant like say a Toyota? If so, that would be funny.

[J sub D]

One of my all time faves, "Who Would Jesus Bomb?

[tarran]

The Stand-Up Comic struggles with bumper stickers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKBKLeTZbM4

"Bring the Troops Home" -> get beaten up.
"Keep the Troops There" -> get beaten up.

[John]

"One of my all time faves, "Who Would Jesus Bomb?"

I love that. That is fucking great. It works both ways. Yeah, you typical anti-war leftist can find it funny. But I am a hawk and think it is hysterical. I look at it the opposite way. I don't know who would Jesus bomb? Lets figure it out and do it. Looked at that way, it is even funnier because it is so over the top.

[steveintheknow]

shockcorridor

Yeah, the "Keep Austin Weird" thing is soooo plaid out. It is soooo not wierd. Its yuppy.

And yes there are unions here, most of the electricians are unionized, or at least the ones who do the majority of work in manufacturing (i.e. Dell). (note: I worked with alot of them on various projects at my old job. Good guys.)

[BTS]

"I would think anyone who is a committed Christian would just roll their eyes at them."

And John has nailed most peoples' reaction to most bumper stickers. Seriously, the only time they have any affect on me at all is when I notice them on a car that has cut me off/almost hit me/etc. In which case it just gives me something to mutter under my breath.

[Keith]

aren't they Darwin Turtles?

[joe]

John,

"You can beleive in Christ and not doubt evolution. In some ways, I never quite got the Darwin fish thing, because the fish doesn't necessarily deny Darwin."

I know that. And you know that.

But the people who put Jesus fish on their cars, most of them don't know that. They think that Christ and Darwin is an either/or proposition.

[Reinmoose]

Living in the northeast, you usually find the clunker car driving around with all kinds of hippie-liberal stickers. One of my favorites is "_________ is a family value" (insert chosen government program into blank)
It's so serious! I mean, how serious can you be with a bumper sticker?

I have a Darwin fish myself, but I haven't been able to bring myself to put it on my car for fear of not being able to ever get it off. I like the ones where the Darwin fish is larger and eating the Jesus fish. That one makes me happy.

[Reinmoose]

My biggest problem is the people who treat the US like a fucking sports team with all kinds of American flags all over the car. Yeah, buddy, I'm well aware that we're in the United States. But unlike wearing a Yankees jersey in a Red Sox bar, you're not going to find people driving by your car yelling "GO FINLAND! WOOOOOO!"
Ass

[Cracker\'s Boy]

"But the people who put Jesus fish on their cars, most of them don't know that. They think that Christ and Darwin is an either/or proposition."

Not all of us. But sadly, the only ones you hear about are the either/ors; the ones who make all the noise and get on television and make life tough for the rest of us.

CB

[libertreee]

Just an aside-Ren? Magritte was the only pro capitalist, non socialist of the major surrealists.

[ed]

YouTube is the new bumper sticker.

[joe]

CB,

I feel your pain. I experience it every time I see television coverage of an anti-war rally.

[Jake Boone]

I had one bumper sticker on my old car: "Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow."

I'll have to pull out my old Illuminati Membership Kit (from Steve Jackson Games) and see what other bumper stickers I have in there.

[jp]

For years I thought that the "I'll Give Up My Gun When They Pry It From My Cold, Dead Fingers" bumper stickers were meant to be satire. Eventually, after seeing them on so many trucks, I started to question that belief, and somebody set me straight.

Last night there was a car that had one that said "Fear the Government that Fears Your Gun." Some sanity reigns in Austin.

Now, that's a sticker I don't get. Isn't the whole point that we want the government to fear our guns (if push comes to shove)?

[Seamus]

I don't find the Darwin fish particularly mean spirited. They never bothered me and I would think anyone who is a committed Christian would just roll their eyes at them. I don't think I have ever met anyone who was offended by them.

As a committed Christian, I'd like to say that I think they're pretty funny. Too bad the people driving those cars are all going to Hell. (I kid. I kid.)

[Pro Libertate]

I eschew bumper stickers, but I have the Culpeper Minutemen flag as a front license plate. I can't tell you how sad it makes me when people suggest that having a Revolutionary War flag on my car is somehow reactionary and militia-sounding. I don't even remotely understand that.

The fish and the Darwin stuff doesn't affect me, one way or the other. Evolution is science. Science is good. I see no conflict. If I were a hardcore Christian, though, I'd use the Chi-Rho symbol: ?.

[Seamus]

A frequent poster here once had a set of bumper stickers printed up with an enviro-green background on which were printed a one-eyed happy face and the slogan "Mutants for Nuclear Power."

I'm also amused by the ones saying "Killing a Baby Is a Bad Choice" or "One Nuclear Explosion Can Ruin Your Whole Day."

[Seamus]

I passed by a car the other day near the Texas state capitol that had some pro-union sticker . I've only been here a year and had to wonder if there is ANY unionized labor in this state?

I'm sure there are lots of members of the AFSCME.

Oh, you meant unionized labor in a *productive* industry. Sorry, can't help you there.

[highnumber]

I have had two bumper stickers ever.
The first was "Support Our Troops - Operation Desert Storm." I was 17. My sentiment really was pro-troop, not pro-war. I hated hippies.
The second was a couple of years ago. "Dave Hoffa is the King of Metal." Punk Planet was printing up a bunch of stickers and there was a blank strip at the bottom of the sheets, so they added that to the bottom and the King handed them out at a party.

By the way, Punk Planet is folding. Last issue was just mailed. Don't cry - start your own damn zine.

[shockcorridor]

How about some old classics like the one about the great day when the schools get all the money and the government has a bake sale for bombers or something to that effect. Or the one with Gandhi's picture and "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." That one's usually next to the sticker of Bob Marley. I don't mind band stickers too much unless they're advertising bands that suck.

[Cesar]

One of the most amusing bumper stickers I've seen recently has a pic of Obama on the left, then it says "Bros before Hoes" and has a pic of Hillary on the other side.

[Scooby]

Most of the skilled construction trades are unionized to some degree or another, but for the most part unions in Austin TX are limited to various gov't employee unions (teachers, cops, firefighters, city & state employees).

"Those stickers never seem to be on some old vanigan or broken down Volvo stationwagon. They are inevietably on some shinny new Nisson or Toyota SUV." Don't forget the Subaru. Those are the modern equivalent to the Vanagon

[bob mologna]

I was in a hardcore redneck/cowboy town in Northern Arizona recently and I saw a beat up old VW microbus with a sticker that said "Real Cowboys Ain't Queer" It left me scratching my head.

[The Fisherman]

Goto http://www.rof.com for a complete line of Fish car emblems and bupper stickers.

[BTS]

Bob, I think they're referencing Brokeback Mountain, although really, that bumper should have come with an expiration date.

[jp]

One of my favorites was one I saw on the back of a biker's helmet: "ORGASM DONOR"

Unfortunately, the biker was a dude, but I still found it pretty funny.

[kohlrabi]

I hate the Darwin fish. So assinine. The whole concept is contingent upon being unaware that the beliefs are not mutually exclusive. OMG! You put feet on the Jesus fish! This means what exactly? You believe in evolution! But you could have said that without the reference to the Jesus fish. Oh, I get it, you're being clever. And why is that clever? Beat it. The thing is, when I get all offended it has nothing whatsoever to do with Jesus or evolution. It's because it's so not clever. I know I'm an old curmudgeon, but I hate people trying to be cute. Beat it.

[x]

Reinmoose: "My biggest problem is the people who treat the US like a fucking sports team with all kinds of American flags all over the car. Yeah, buddy, I'm well aware that we're in the United States. But unlike wearing a Yankees jersey in a Red Sox bar, you're not going to find people driving by your car yelling 'GO FINLAND! WOOOOOO!'"

What about Mexican flags?

[e]

The first was "Support Our Troops - Operation Desert Storm." I was 17. My sentiment really was pro-troop, not pro-war.

If you're not pro-war, then why put "Operation Desert Storm" on the end? I guess you meant you were pro that *particular* war, not war in general.

[Calder]

Magritte will outlive our "war on terror".

[LarryA]

In 1964 the Goldwater campaign slogan was "In your heart you know he is right".

The post election sequel was "They said if I voted for Goldwater we'd end up with a war in Vietnam. They were right."

[dhex]

i like the terrorist hunting licenses bumper stickers - it reminds me that this is a glorious country that allows fuckfaces to walk amongst us doing useful things like driving cars and being hilarious in public.

god bless the simpletons.

i saw one of those darwin rapefish stickers this morning, actually, and it took me a while to figure out what was going on.

this is truly a great country.

[Rattlesnake Jake]

Here in Houston, we once had a mayor named Kathy Whitmeyer who looked like Dustin Hoffman in drag. Opponents of her had a bumper sticker that said "Toot, Toot, Tootsie Goodbye" hoping to defeat her.

[grumpy realist]

Bumper Stickers I'd like to see:

"EARTH FIRST! (We'll strip-mine the other planets later)

SUPPORT BIODIESEL: EAT A COW

CRIMEN LAESAE MAIESTATIS FOREVER

[Rattlesnake Jake]

"i saw one of those darwin rapefish stickers this morning, actually, and it took me a while to figure out what was going on."

I havn't seen those, what do they look like?

[joe]

"They said if I voted for Kerry, we'd lose the war in Iraq, the Middle East wouldn't become democratic, and terrorism would increase. They were right."

[highnumber]

e,

I didn't design the bumper sticker. When I stuck it on my car I had the troops in my mind, not liberating Kuwait. I really had not formed an opinion on that. At the time I thought it was a complicated issue. Looking back, I still think it was a complicated situation, but over the last 16 years or so, my understanding of the non-aggression principle has deepened. It was quite new to me at the time.

One more thing, are you really a jackass, or was that flippant comment an anomaly?

[Rattlesnake Jake]

"You put feet on the Jesus fish! This means what exactly?"

It means fish evolved into amphibians.

[dhex]

jake:

http://www.evolvefish.com/fish/media/E-Procreate.gif

[e]

highnumber, I'm pretty much of a jackass, I guess, so feel free to ignore me. But I will say that the SUPPORT TEH TROOPS bumperstickers/signs/meme/whatever annoys me to no end because it means absolutely nothing. How am I suppose to support them? I am already paying for them, what more need I do?

[joe]

kohlrabi,

"The whole concept is contingent upon being unaware that the beliefs are not mutually exclusive."

No, it is contingent upon the people putting Jesus fish stickers on their cars being unaware that the beliefs are not mutually exclusive.

[Reinmoose]

What about Mexican flags?

Where I am, there are no Mexican flags.

[VikingMoose]

f

d00d, c'mon, High# was 17 when he did it, and it also had an anti hippie message.

And he was developing a camo-jock with desert pattern, so he was also promoting his business.

(which, sadly, went under after the great "itch scare" of 1993. Between that and the Great Silence of 1523, much horror was shared.)

d'oh. apologies for misspelling your name.

[kohlrabi]

Rattlesnake,

Way to be obtuse. I'm sure that's all it means. The only reason it happens to be a Jesus fish is because it's cheaper to add legs to an off-the-shelf fish emblem direct from the manufacturer than to re-tool a whole new design. Purely coincidental.

[kohlrabi]

Joe,

"No, it is contingent upon the people putting Jesus fish stickers on their cars being unaware that the beliefs are not mutually exclusive."

Not mutually exclusive with what? Are you saying that people put the fish stickers on their cars in response to the theory of evolution? I doubt you mean that, but I don't understand what you mean.

[Seamus]

How about some old classics like the one about the great day when the schools get all the money and the government has a bake sale for bombers or something to that effect.

I prefer the one about what a great day it will be when the air force gets all the money it needs, so it can bomb the crap out of the public school's bake sale.

[joe]

kohlrabi,

I mean, the Darwin Fish is a tweak to people who put Jesus Fish on their cars. The only reason it has any meaning at all in opposition to the Jesus Fish is because the Jesus Fish people give it one.

If the Jesus Fish people didn't believe that the evolution and Christianity were mutually-exclusive beliefs, no one would bother with the Darwin Fish.

[Karen]

Back in the 90's I remember seeing here in Austin a woman who drove a mid-80's Toyota pickup with the following bumper stickers:

Goddess Bless; Born Again Pagan; a rainbow flag pentagram; "My Other Car Is a Broom;" Love Your Mother; Texas Republican; Bush '94; "I'm the NRA;" and one I can't completely remember about the importance of women being armed.

A lesbian pagan Republican gun owner. Is there any place on Earth besides my hometown where someone like that would live?

Oh, and the yuppie bumper sticker is no longer "Keep Austin Weird." It's a white sillouette of sports equipment with one's kids' names under it. All kid names must start with the same letter, too, or it doesn't count.

[Karen]

Oh, and I haven't had any bumper stickers since '96, when I traded my aged VW Jetta. That car featured a Darwin fish with feet, "Rush is Fat," and an Ann Richards sticker.

Finally, I think the reason the Jesus Fish gets the most parodies is that it's hugely more common, as well as the fact that the particular shape is easy to change into other things and still be recognizable, like rockets or amphibians or sharks or such. As for the cresent moon, do the "Coexist" stickers, where the C is the Islam symbol and the other letters represent other religions count as parody?

[kohlrabi]

"If the Jesus Fish people didn't believe that the evolution and Christianity were mutually-exclusive beliefs, no one would bother with the Darwin Fish."

But they don't and that's my point of why this is so stupid. Some Christians do, some don't. See Humani Generis. The Church has a neutral position.

You know, I blame the protestants for this. (grumbles in Italian)

[Reinmoose]

kohlrabi -
I'm sorry, but you really think there's something different to the Darwin fish than what R-Jake said?
I always thought the point of it was that you had this fish, right, that people put on their cars because they like Jesus. Presumably these people are Christians. The Darwin Fish, yes, was trying to be cute, which I know you don't like. You see... if you take a fish, and you put feet on it and the word Darwin on it, it's to say "Ha! Your Jesus fish evolved into something else."
I'm sorry to deliver the news, but yes, that is actually supposed to be the joke.

[kohlrabi]

Karen,

"A lesbian pagan Republican gun owner. Is there any place on Earth besides my hometown where someone like that would live? "

Ann Arbor, Madison, Boulder... 😉

I wanna see the Crescent Moon and Star with a telescope pointing at it. 😉

[highnumber]

e,
I, too, now hate the "support the troops" slogans, but I believe that was the first appearance of it on bumper stickers, or at least it was the first since Viet Nam. Back then, we were still getting over that whole "troops are baby killers" crap. It could kinda have meant something then.

Feel free to be a jackass if you wish. I may or may not ignore you in the future.

[kohlrabi]

Reinmoose,

You're far too generous!

[Scooby]

I wanna see the Crescent Moon and Star with a telescope pointing at it. 😉

Wasn't that one of the proposed logos for the Total Information Awareness office?

[Rattlesnake Jake]

"A lesbian pagan Republican gun owner. Is there any place on Earth besides my hometown where someone like that would live? "

I know a black, gay, Catholic Republican.

[Foxhunter]

My only bumper sticker (actually on the front license plate holder) say "We Must All Stop Manbearpig" from South Park, making fun of Al Gore and his straw man from the episode.

My favorite bumper sticker of all time is:
"Vegetarian: Old Indian for lousy hunter"

[Karen]

kohlrabi, I'm pretty sure there aren't any Republicans in Madison or Ann Arbor. You're righ about Boulder, though.

[Cesar]

On a related note to the "Support the troops" thing, I saw someone wearing a t-shirt once that said SUPPORT OUR PANZERS IN THE EAST!

[joe]

kohlrabi,

I agree.

If the Pope - the Pope! - is saying to you, "I think you're letting religion interfere with your understanding of science," it's time to re-evaluate.

[Ramsey]

I have one on my VW Jetta TDI wagon "I don't need an SUV, I already have a huge d**k"

My wife hates it, cause she usually drives and I am a bicycle commuter.

I would just love to know what the people behind are thinking when they see a tiny little blonde driving.

[highnumber]

Ramsey,

That's one of the funniest things I've heard all week!
Your poor wife. You bastard.

[Karen]

Ramsey, your wife is a very lucky woman.

[Ramsey]

*Blushes*

Just doing what I can with what I got...

She really is tiny too, she is only about 5'4"

I am 6'6" and 245 pounds.

[Karen]

Ramsey, a couple years ago a good friend of mine was rear ended by a guy in a Hummer talking on his cell phone. It totalled her car. She told the guy, to his face, that he was driving an "al Qaeda-endorsed penismobile."

[J sub D]

A lesbian pagan Republican gun owner. Is there any place on Earth besides my hometown where someone like that would live?

Is this a great country or what?

[Ramsey]

I had someone almost rear end me in a Hummer H2, and start to road rage/tailgate/flash lights at me. I stopped at a gas station and started to fuel up and he roared in behind me. You should have seen his face when a big guy stepped out of the little car. You could almost see his a**hole pucker up before he left.

I really disagree with the mindset that conspicuous consumption leads to better living. I admit, it appealed to me when I was a dumb grunt in the army, but I outgrew it years ago. I have heard it said that in America, you drive to work, and you have to work to afford to drive.