Media

What Google Madness This Be?

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How does Google News work? Why was the following story at the top of the page on the right-hand col a few minutes ago? Do they just list random stories for god's sake, or could massive waves of readers have pushed this thing to the very top of the algorithmic heap? And if that's true, do we really want to live in that world?

Dagwood's Sandwich Shoppe coming to Lakewood Ranch
Sarasota Herald-Tribune—all 304 news articles »

One more question: How did Dagwood stay so skinny while eating such big sandwiches?

Bonus random question: If they want to be really classy, shouldn't the chain be called Ye Olde Dagwood's Sandwich Shoppe?

NEXT: William Wallace Has a Posse

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  1. One more question: How did Dagwood stay so skinny while eating such big sandwiches?

    Easy. Blondie comic strips predate widespread use of HFCS and trans-fats.

  2. At the time of this posting 29 of the 30 Google News stories are Astronaut Walter Schirra dies at 84. The other one was, Wolfowitz says he did nothing wrong.

  3. You think you’ve got it bad? I get this

    Recommended for highnumber[at]gmail.com ?

    Anna Nicole Smith’s baby leaves Bahamas

    I have no frickin’ idea why this is recommended for me. I actually did read the stories about Britney (claiming to be Satan, etc.), but Anna Nicole Smith?

  4. …such big sandwiches…

    I don’t know what kind of girly sandwiches the Reason staff was brought up on, but an olive, two hot dogs, a fried egg, spaghetti, a whole fish, two slices of Swiss cheese, peas, carrots, purple meat, more Swiss cheese, quarters and dimes, a whole lobster, more Swiss cheese, ham, what looks to be the foot of a clam, and mayonnaise in between a mere two slices of bread ain’t nothing but lunch in my book. Who are you — Jared?

  5. How did Dagwood stay so skinny while eating such big sandwiches?

    Binge and purge, baby, binge and purge.

    OT Question: Whose the hotter comic strip babe: Blondie‘s Cookie or Beetle Bailey‘s Miss Buxley?

  6. evil, knowing laughter….

  7. CSPI spews a screachy press-release about these Dagwood Sandwiches, and how real people aren’t like cartoon characters who can eat anything they want without gaining weight in 5…4…3..

  8. How did Dagwood stay so skinny while eating such big sandwiches?

    Olestra.

  9. Nick, Nick, Nick,

    Shilling for Big Sandwich???

  10. Considering how many times he was late for work, maybe he burned all those calories colliding with the mailman.

  11. Dagwood’s eyes are black; as black as my soul.

    Throwing a whole lobster into your sandwich shell-on is seriously hardcore.

  12. Yeah, and what kind of twisted freak puts mayo on the top of the sandwich?

  13. How did Dagwood stay so skinny while eating such big sandwiches?

    He did what obese teenagers should be doing. He kept active, didn’t screw off at work and didn’t lounge around all day on the couch…oh wait…this is Dagwood, right? Ooops. Sorry. I was thinking about Prince Valiant.

  14. If I was married to Blondie, I’d have no problems working the calories off.

  15. OT Question: Whose the hotter comic strip babe: Blondie’s Cookie or Beetle Bailey’s Miss Buxley?

    Dude, no contest, and forget Cookie: Blondie Bumstead. She’s what, 165 years old and still as hot as ever in her little pumps?

    Dagwood has to be the original Smilin’ Bob.

    But I gotta tell you, on some days, Sally Forth has got it workin’.

  16. that purple smiling thing is a fish? i thought it was a dolphin or a seal!

  17. Sally Forth = Granny panties

    Some girls, you can just tell.

  18. But I gotta tell you, on some days, Sally Forth has got it workin’.

    JW,

    YOU CAUSED Urkobold TO THROW UP A LITTLE IN HIS(?) MOUTH. SEVERE PUNISHMENT IS REQUIRED. WHILE YOU CANNOT SUFFER THE GREATEST PUNISHMENT (see Guy Montag), YOU MUST SUFFER GREATLY. WHAT DO YOU THINK IS AN APPROPRIATE PUNISHMENT?

  19. The comfy chair! The comfy chair!

  20. Sally Forth = Granny panties

    No way. I saw whale tail in panel one day recently, while she was unloading the dishwasher.

    It’s always the ones you suspect the least.

  21. “One more question: How did Dagwood stay so skinny while eating such big sandwiches?”

    Moderation.

    “Bonus random question: If they want to be really classy, shouldn’t the chain be called Ye Olde Dagwood’s Sandwich Shoppe?”

    No.

  22. Could it be that none of you ginger kids would survive a night with Miss Buxley?

  23. This is a no-brainer, guys. He starts off every day sprinting after the carpool.

    – Josh

  24. JW,

    Turn the rack, brother.

  25. Why does the fish in that sandwich look so happy to be there?

  26. Andy,

    If you have to ask, you’ll never understand…

  27. “The comfy chair! The comfy chair!”

    Not that! Anything but that!

  28. HMMM. YOU FEAR THE COMFY CHAIR?

    THEN YOU WILL SUFFER IN THE

    (wait for it)

    (keep waiting)

    SHIATSU MASSAGE CHAIR!

  29. What are you guys talking about. Sally Forth was the hotness!

    Kevin

  30. Different Sally Forth.

  31. When Miss Buxley had nipples, that was pretty hot. Still, I gotta go with Nancy’s Aunt Fritzi.

  32. Aunt Fritzi IS A WHORE.

    SO’S YOUR MOM.

  33. How did Dagwood stay so skinny while eating such big sandwiches?

    He used sun block?

  34. Internet confession: I really really really really want to bang Blondie Bumstead. She is the hotness.

    I’d do her Snoopy-style.

  35. KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS, STEVO!

  36. Stevo – a word of caution! she ain’t cheap. It’s gonna cost more than peanuts…

  37. BLONNNNNNNDIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

    I have Hagar the Horrible in my pants.

  38. I want to do Blondie Bumstead so bad it’s not even funny.

    Just like the comic strip Nancy.

  39. Blondie Bumstead, I would sex you wilder than Mark Trail’s Lost Forest.

  40. I have Hagar the Horrible in my pants.

    Horns on your helmet, Stevo?

  41. Shilling for Big Sandwich???

    /Fishes decaying Big Sandwich from trashcan

    How can I stay mad at you, Big Sandwich?

  42. Stevo – a word of caution! she ain’t cheap. It’s gonna cost more than peanuts…

    Oooh, old-school reference.

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