Africa

A Different Sort Mass Killing (Zimbabwe Edition)

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How is tyrant Robert Mugabe celebrating his nation's independence day? By attacking his critics near and far:

Zimbabwe marks 27 years of independence today, but mounting economic problems and a government crackdown on the political opposition have overshadowed celebrations.

Critics accuse President Robert Mugabe, in power since independence from Britain in 1980, of plunging the southern African state into crisis through policies such as the seizure of white-owned farms and the lack of economic reform that has see inflation spiral to 1,700 per cent.

Mr Mugabe claims the highest inflation rate in the world and a rapidly shrinking economy  is a result of economic sanctions imposed by the West.

Yesterday, he lauded his success in beating off an attempt by "evildoers" to unseat him and urged people to be patient as his government battles the economic crisis.

Speaking at a children's party ahead of the independence anniversary, the Zimbabwean leader said he had managed to "override the little storm" he said had been mounted by the opposition and his critics in the West.

Mugabe at a children's party! Imagine the pants-wetting terror going on there as that murderous thug declaims his enemies and starts swinging at the pinata. Kids, let him win in whatever games you're playing! More here.

Over at The American, Marian Tupy offers up a four-step plan to help Zimbabwe get back on track. The quartet of suggestions–stabilize currency, liberalize trade, reform taxes, and secure property rights–is right on target. And stands no chance of being implemented as long Mugabe is drawing enough breath to confiscate land and persecute his ever-growing list of enemies.

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  1. So why doesn’t someone kill the bastard already?

  2. Darn those evil Western powers! They’ve insidiously planted weeds in my lawn and put unkillable algae in my pool! But I shall defy them with dignity and fiendish cunning.

  3. The problem with Africa is that it’s full of Africans.

  4. And the problem with blogs is that the comment threads have a few racist trolls, Max.

  5. The problem with Africa, of course, is the rampant corruption. It’s a shame that people like Mugabe are still in power. A liberalized Africa, with all of the natural resources there, could be quite successful.

  6. is a result of economic sanctions imposed by the West

    He could at least try plausible excuses – since when have sanctions ever been that effective or fast-acting?

  7. “put unkillable algae in my pool! But I shall defy them with dignity and fiendish cunning.”

    um. Dignity and Fiendish Cunning have been banned by the EPA for at-home use… sorry.

  8. [Narrowing my eyes ? la Clint Eastwood/Lee Van Cleef]

    EPA, huh? Part of a Western power, aren’t they? Invest my pool with invincible algae then don’t let me attempt to make them vincible?

    Die, oppressors!

  9. And the problem with blogs is that the comment threads have a few racist trolls, Max.

    Why is it that criticism of Africans = racism, but criticism of Europeans = criticism of Europeans?

  10. Criticism of Europeans as Europeans is racist, GC.

    What are you, a Pollack?

  11. The quartet of suggestions–stabilize currency, liberalize trade, reform taxes, and secure property rights–is right on target. And stands no chance of being implemented as long Mugabe is drawing enough breath to confiscate land and persecute his ever-growing list of enemies.

    So really, it should be a five-step plan, starting with regime change.

    Which never works, we are told, so basically Zimbabwe is doomed.

  12. “beating off the evildoers”

    I thought Bush/Cheney had the copyright on that?

  13. Die Oppressors?

    Oh ja! Dae are zee onez who vear dose kute uniformz. Ja Ja.

    Ja. Make zee invinzeeble vinzeeble. But you only may doo zat ven yoo are cognito.

  14. Zimbabwe marks 27 years of independence

    With independence like that, who needs slavery?
    You know you have a problem when things were better under the colonialists.

  15. No, VM, I was saying, “Die, oppressors” in English. You’re thinking of that pool-cleaning service, Die Oppressors, with their Naziesque uniforms and their patented Blitzpool technology.

  16. hrumph.

    but still be cognito. and stay plussed.

    or something.

    🙂

  17. VM,

    One thing I’ve learned in hiding from the Western hegemony is how not to be seen.

  18. “beating off the evildoers”

    I’ll be an evildoer, depending on who is doing the beating off.

  19. TGP – Lol

    go away! BATIN!

    [ATF Agent] We think it was his shed the boys were beating off in
    [Agent Flemming] Dammit man, say it without a preposition at the end of the sentence
    [ATF Agent] We think is was his shed off in which the boys were beating

    ProL: don’t pick obvious cover. And be sure to defend yourself against mangoes in syrup!

  20. And be sure to defend yourself against mangoes in syrup!

    Especially if it’s in cans.

  21. What, no links to the best Mugabe page ever?

    http://mugabe.netfirms.com/

  22. die oppressors?

    hell yeah i’m a die oppressor. i make life hard for machine tools.

  23. The problem with Africa, of course, is the rampant corruption. It’s a shame that people like Mugabe are still in power. A liberalized Africa, with all of the natural resources there, could be quite successful.

    The Somalis would differ with this solution.

    The problem with Africa, in their opinion, is DEMOCRACY. They see that Africa is a form of the crudest type of nineteenth Century American
    ward democracy writ large…ethnic winner take all, and exploit or kill the ethnic minority.

    Somalia did not “collapse” into anarchy,,,they chose it deliberately. Actually, they chose Kritarchy, or rule by Judges. They turned the bureaucrats out!

    The western and African powers are shocked and will stop at almost nothing to re-impose DEMOCRACY there. I doubt in the long run they will succeed.

    The trouble with Africa is not Africans or corruption so much as it is, in fact, liberal DEMOCRACY imposed over long standing tribal clans limited by artificial state boundaries.

  24. Mr. Steven Crane,

    Not to be confused with the Dye Oppressors, those people who throw dye at fur-coating wearing people.

  25. Mugabe at a children’s party!

    Sounds like a scene from “The Last King of Scotland.” Great movie, BTW.

  26. Or Dayo Pressers, used to make Belafonte records flat.

    Seriously, the first thing that Mugabe did (after winning the “one gun, one vote” forced by Jimmy Carter, the UK and the UN) was to disarm his political opponents. Rumor has it that a few were dis-headed, too.

    BTW, the article makes on major error: Rhodesia issued its Unilateral Declaration of Independence in 1964, breaking away from Britain. From then until 1980, it went through the classic stages of a Communist takeover. Until the end, the country was a gross exporter of food. Now the people are starving, because the people who knew how to run farms were run off them.

  27. I wonder whether the disaster that is Zimbabwe could occur in South Africa. There are already some disturbing signs: the ANC leadership demanding a similar land redistribution program, mandatory race quotas that have led to a large exodus of skilled white and Indian professionals, and a government dominated by one party with a relatively weak opposition.
    Mbeki has also remained muted about Mugabe’s abuses, even as other African leaders are speaking out.
    The question is: are there enough level headed people in the ANC to prevent it from becoming the next ZANU-PF?

  28. Blacks cannot run countries. Period.

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