Second Prize is a Set of Steak Knives. Third Prize is You Have to Talk to Hugh Hewitt.

I'm not finished with it yet, but so far I haven't found much merit in the autobiography of former DNC chairman Terry McAuliffe. If you start the book wanting to hear dirt on Democrats in the 1990s, you're out of luck; if you want comprehensive lists of all the VIP boxes McAuliffe shared with Bill Clinton, buy two copies. But if the book's only legacy is this promotional interview with Hugh Hewitt, it will be worth it. It's a 20 minute inquistion about trivia that reads like a lost Mamet play.

HH: You're an Irish Catholic kid from Syracuse, from St. Anne's school, right?

TM: Yes.

HH: Now did you do eight years or twelve years of Catholic education?

TM: I did eight years at St. Anne's grammar school, I did four years of Bishop Ludden High School, I did four years at the Catholic University of America, and three years at Georgetown University Law Center.

HH: Can you name your K-8 teachers?

TM: Yeah.

HH: Give them to me.

And he does, to the delight of pedantic radio fans everywhere. This exchange is the obvious highlight:

HH: Okay. Now Dick Morris, he's not in the book.

TM: You want me to tell about him with a prostitute, sucking her toes?

HH: Yeah, during the DNC Convention over…

TM: This is a family book that I want to have kids buy in high school. I want to talk about Dick Morris sucking a hooker's toes?

HH: Yeah, I do, because he was working for you.

TM: Well, he got fired for that.

HH: Weren't you paying his bills?

TM: I mean, I'm not…listen, I'm trying to get this into high schools. I don't want hookers sucking toes.

HH: Oh, I want it read in high schools.

TM: I'm not going to put that in there.

HH: You betcha. But that's why, because you were embarrassed by Dick Morris?

TM: I'm embarrassed to have hookers sucking toes, and he's sucking a hooker's toes in my book.

HH: And you were paying for him.

TM: I'm embarrassed.

HH: But you were paying for him?

TM: Who's paying for him?

HH: You were. The DNC was paying for him, weren't they?

TM: No, no. How were we paying for his hookers?

HH: I think…as I recall, he was the consultant to the Clinton White House for political affairs, and the DNC was paying him.

TM: I honestly don't know the answer to that, but I'd be very upset and ask for my money back that I raised if he was using that to have hookers…sucking some hooker's toes.

HH: Let me give you a compliment, by the way.

Another day, another reason to hope this is the last campaign we ever have to hear about the Clintons. We can keep Hewitt, though. (Back in October I assessed what good, if any, the Hewitts of our politics were doing for conservatism.)