Blind, Torture, Killerspiele

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After a pair of killings by people who both own computers and use them to play games, the European Union is taking steps to restrict violent game content:

Brussels plans to publish a blacklist of banned games on a website called "InSafe" as well as developing closer relationships with game producers and Internet providers over the next few years. Europe-wide standards and under-age control are the long-term goal of the initiative.

"The protection of children knows no borders," said EU commissioner Franco Frattini.

Hey, how about the Internet? Does it know borders?

This doesn't go far enough for Bavaria's interior minister Günther Beckstein. He wants an outright ban of games with realistic killing scenes—dubbed "Killerspiele" ("killer games") in Germany—on the Internet.

Whole thing here.

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  1. Perhaps our German friends could resurrect a group of former Stasi Kommandos to travel the world, eliminating the evil game makers. There would, natrlich, be secret prisons and torture involved.
    Hey- that’d make an awesome video game, wouldn’t it?

  2. Can we make a game where the lead charecter runs around D.C. and Europe killing dumbass politicians?

  3. “The protection of children knows no borders.”

    Nor does the nanny state!

  4. “Europe-wide standards”

    Unless Sweden goes dark….

  5. “After a pair of killings by people who both own computers and use them to play games”

    Right.

    Bet both those people wore shoes, too. Let’s ban shoes. If criminals have no shoes, they won’t get far!

  6. Because God knows there were no murders before the Atari 2600 was mass produced and marketed.

    Or before television and movies were invented, or books were written, for that matter.

    Just to be safe, we should probably ban all media, right?

  7. I suspect that these games will be AMERICAN while other homegrown games will be given a pass. Expect the ban to be extended to American movies as well.

  8. Aresen,

    Banning shoes isn’t going far enough. As we all know, shoes are a “Gateway Accessory,” which lead to harder things like sandals, clogs, and even, god forbit, steel-toed boots!

    We must stop this scourge of footwear addiction, for the children.

  9. “Europe-wide standards”

    Unless Sweden goes dark….

    Lamar: What is that supposed to mean?

  10. EDIT: “god forbid” (you can tell how often I use that phrase)

  11. “There! That oughta do it.”

  12. No, no, no, we must be stopped. Why, just yesterday, I killed a few hundred Germans while playing Call of Duty 2 on the Xbox.

    I’m so ashamed.

  13. I was under the impression that blood and violence in games were already verboten in Germany. The Command & Conquer series (where you click on little soldiers and tell them to blow shit up) released a couple of alternate German versions where all the blood was colored gray so they could say the soldiers were robots.

  14. This is all moot as I finally conquered the whole of what is now Germany in Medieval 2 just last night.

  15. Yeah, Germany has had bans on violence against humans in video games for a while. When I lived there, you could get the games, but they’d be in English rather than dubbed or subbed, and they cost more. I don’t know if the store I went to was operating under the table or not, though they were open about what they were selling.

  16. Amazingly, I’ve never played a video game whose violence affected me more than “All Quiet on the Western Front”. Obviously video technoids are just a bunch of slackers and need to get serious about this violent stuff. The future is in their hands!

  17. Your title is not parallel. Just sayin’, is all.

  18. If only they had banned video games before little Adolph had become corrputed by them and had released all those violent and oppressive tendencies within him….

  19. What do you suppose politicians are going to do with themselves once they have created a perfect world in which everyone is safe from all hazards and dangers?

  20. Death to the demoness Allegra Geller!

  21. Title should be Bind not Blind

  22. You know, seeing as how dangerous German workplaces are, I can see how this kind of law might be a good idea.

    http://www.hugi.is/hahradi/bigboxes.php?box_id=51208&f_id=1000

    (I’d say its NSFW, but not sex).

    No pun intended.

  23. This needs unanimity of all European executive branches to go ahead… not going to happen. It’s nice thar Frattini shows us that the you can become an idiot without playing dumbing-down videogames though.

  24. Title should be Bind not Blind

    Beware the serial killers in our midst!

    Some clues to tell whether someone is a serial killer:

    1) Is very literal-minded. Doesn’t get jokes. Hates puns. Is cluelessly didactic. Loves to “correct” people.

    2) May be superficially charming, but lacks real human empathy or compassion.

    3) Exhibited cruelty toward animals as a child.

    4) Suffered rejection as a child. Has difficulty forming stable relationships with social equals.

    5) Knows a lot of odd facts about serial killers.

    6) Blood on shoes. Lots of oblong, roughly six-foot-long mounds of dirt in back yard. Screaming noises in basement. Is always taking a drive to a not-very-nearby creek or woods “for some fresh air” between midnight and 4 a.m.

    7) (And this is a real giveaway) Is always killing people.

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