Pfizer Wants to Kill Your Grandfather

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Pfizer is talking about an over-the-counter version of Viagra. Since Viagra's death rate is significantly higher than that of the abortion pill and that of hormonal contraception–neither of which is available over the counter–I fully expect the Concerned Women for America to launch a campaign highlighting the health risks of enhanced geriatric potency. There will be Jim DeMint speeches, a movement to suspend the drug's sale altogether, congressional hearings, perhaps a purge at the FDA. Jennifer Roback Morse insists that giving the underclass easy access to the morning-after pill will increase sexual activity and STD rates to the detriment of us all; surely she'll be first in line to oppose the wider distribution of a drug that actually will increase sexual acitivity. Strangely, no one seems to have noticed Pfizer's announcement, but given the Right's concern for pharmaceutical risk assessment and recent support for a vigilant, restrictive FDA, I can only assume that a save-our-grandpas campaign is just around the corner.

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  1. “unfortunately, Trevor passed away from a heart attack while masturbating to produce sperm for artificial insemination.”

  2. Since the art of advertising is to turn the flaw into a feature, this should be their slogan: Viagra, What else would you rather be doing when your time is up?

  3. Let Grandpa go out with bang, so to speak.

  4. “Go out on top with Viagra!”

  5. Kerry Howley,

    I truly appreciate the snark about Concerned Women for America (whose spokesperson is a dude).

    Of course they won’t say a damn thing about OTC viagara. They don’t care one whit for American women. They are concerned that some American women unabashedly enjoy fucking and don’t want to stare at STDs and / or pregnanacy when they do it. When they campaign against a drug that is 100% effective against future HPV infections on the basis that it will lead to teenage sex cults because of the lack of potentially fatal consequences, it goes beyond being fucked up and goes straight to being evil.

  6. Kerry, that was the best stealth snark ever!

  7. “…it goes beyond being fucked up and goes straight to being evil.”

    CWA was founded by Beverly LaHaye is the wife of Minster Timothy LaHaye, co-author of the Left Behind novels.

    ‘Nuff said.

  8. Edit: LaHaye, who is the wife…

  9. You just don’t get it, do you? It’s the MEN’S fault for taking the drugs. No, it’s not exactly an awakening of latent respect for personal responsibility, it’s just that it’s men’s fault no matter what, in our patriarchal country.

    For example, when men undertake penis enhancement, they are ridiculed for their vanity. And when women undertake breast enhancement, men are blamed for having unrealistic wants and expectations.

  10. “Since Viagra’s death rate is significantly higher than that of the abortion pill and that of hormonal contraception”

    I think part of the argument missed here is that the abortion pill and contraceptives have a 100% death rate….for the unborn human beings microscopically tadpoling around.

    PS: this move isn’t aimed at grandpas. It’s aimed at 25 year olds who don’t want to tell their doctor that they drink too much and can’t get it up after a six-pack.

  11. From all the spam I’ve seen offering cheap V!agr@, I always just assumed that it’s basically OTC for all intents and purposes anyway. I mean, if there are a whole bunch of competing vendors willing to hook you up with it over the web without a doctor’s exam, then that’s almost as good as OTC in terms of access.

  12. “For example, when men undertake penis enhancement, they are ridiculed for their vanity.”

    So what?

    After the enhancement and about six weeks of Yoga class, who cares? It’s all about lettin’ rover come over, then! You can be vain with a big honkin’ smile all the way to the bank.

    Break out the A1 Sauce! It’s a lotus party!

  13. Penis enhancement? Who needs that!

  14. ….when men undertake penis enhancement, they are ridiculed for their vanity. And when women undertake breast enhancement, men are blamed for having unrealistic wants and expectations.

    When middle age women emulate Demi Moore they’re just finding their true self, when middle age men start dating younger women and buying cool cars they’re suffering from a mid-life crises, poor pathetic fools. ­čÖé

    Must be a real drag to cruise around in that Beemer Z-4, top down, with a sweet young twenty-something stretched out in the passenger seat. Clearly an illustration of just how badly a mid-life crises can cloud your judgment. Probably don’t even need Viagra neither.

    Question: does Pfizer make the morning after pill? If so, then there is a hypocrisy beef, unless Pfizer has also advocated putting it OTC as well.

    Besides, they’re just talkin’, it ain’t legal yet.

    Men Are Such Pigs Regards, TWC

  15. Oh meant to say: Great Headline.

    Made me think of Alan Arkin as the grandfather in Little Miss Sunshine.

  16. Just to keep myself out of trouble here, I confess to beating guys up for mid-lifing as much as anyone. Especially those Harley guys.

    Harley guys aren’t usually libertarians except Col Hogan, Fritts, & that one guy in Wisconsin so I feel pretty safe saying that here. Besides, I think I can take all three of ’em.

  17. Lamar: Unless you consider sperm and eggs as “unborn human beings” – and I know of no one outside of the Catholics in Monty Python who does – then no unborn human beings have been shown to be killed by contraception. This includes emergency contraceptive, the so-called “morning after pill”, which is NOT an abortion pill.

    Please, please learn some biology before you make further foolish statements.

  18. a movement to suspend the drug’s sale altogether, congressional hearings, perhaps a purge at the FDA

    Ha ha ha. You HAVE noticed the age and sex of the individuals in which most of the power of this country is concentrated, haven’t you?

  19. “Please, please learn some biology before you make further foolish statements.”

    And the Jean Bart Memorial Condescending Jackass Snark Award goes to…Andrew!

  20. Ha ha ha. You HAVE noticed the age and sex of the individuals in which most of the power of this country is concentrated, haven’t you?

    Women-control half the money and all the pussy.

  21. How dare they! I mean, for god’s sake, he’s already dead!

  22. So when you go to the check-out clerk and have her scane a pack of Viagra, a jar of Vaseline and a 12-pack of Budweiser, she pretty much knows what you’re doing that evening.

  23. Beastiality?

  24. Andrew,
    “Lamar: Unless you consider sperm and eggs as “unborn human beings”…”

    My wife had sperm and eggs for breakfast this morning: Does that count?

  25. What about the real danger*: ugly broads will be spiking guys’ drinks, not unlike the way evil, creepy guys slip hot chicks Rohypnol when they are too chickenshit to actually persuade a babe for sex. It won’t be exactly like chemically-assisted date-rape, but thousands of guys will be afflicted with horniness for girls they otherwise would not do – sorta like pharmacological beer goggles. Old guys will be tricked into having sex with their wives!

    Kevin

    *Note for the humor-impaired. This is a JOKE!

  26. Concerned Women of America? are you kidding? The whole ED movement is a conspiracy by women to achieve sexual satisfaction after forty. Back in the good old days, sex after your reproductive years were over wasn’t mandatory. Now that women rule the world, men are barraged by advertisements telling us that we should risk a heart attack to please our over-the-hill wives.

  27. Viagra and Concerned Women of America.

    The jokes just write themselves.

  28. In the name of St. Gloria this is MADNESS!

    You’re telling me that any rapist will be able to buy a 4hr meat weapon ANY TIME HE WANTS!!

    This is how the patriarchy perpetuates violence against women!!

    frothfrothfroth….

  29. you can get a prescription from a virtual doctor and order all of these ED pills online in five minues anyway, won’t make much practial difference.

  30. “Women-control half the money and all the pussy.”

    You only just think it’s half the money – TANSTAFP*.

    THERE AIN’T NO SUCH THING AS FREE PUSSY

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