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At, Radley Balko predicts a slate of civil liberties outrages for 2007.  With a twist.

NEXT: Stranger Than Fiction

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  1. Radley Balko, best journalist ever.

  2. Way to recycle Brickbats.

    My guess is that by December, I’ll have another column of government excesses too strange to be satirized.

    Or the end of January.

  3. Oh christ, must you make us all look like assholes? Fuck you, Radley.

  4. “–In yet another case of government bureaucracy gone mad, some local health agency will insist that the churches and private homes where volunteers prepare food for homeless people pass rigorous, restaurant-standard health inspections or shut down operations.”

    Old hat, sort of.

    Our Lions Club in PA can no longer prepare food (barbecue for sandwiches, not for the homeless, but sold at local fairs) in members’ homes. Instead, we use a “commercial kitchen” at a local fire house. I don’t think it’s any cleaner than, e.g., my kitchen, but apparently it’s more important to be legal than to be clean.

  5. Some silly conservative will write a book blaming rap music and South Park for the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks

    There’s no link here… did said conservative work for Fox News or something?

  6. I don’t know if this will happen in 2007 or later but:

    Somebody will defend herself against a police impersonator(s) — either home invasion or unmarked “police” car.

    She will be arrested, and the D.A. will press charges, arguing that she should have believed that the criminal was an impersonator, therefore demonstrating intent to resist arrest.

    The police will then put out a press release spouting the usual worthless advice about what to do when confronted by a possible police impersonator; advice which places “officer safety” above that of civilians.

  7. Some silly conservative will write a book blaming rap music and South Park for the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks.

    Having seized control of Congress, silly liberals will continue to blame Rush Limbaugh and the National Rifle Association for the Oklahoma City bombing of 1995. Various liberal wish-list measures — gun control, Clipper Chip, socialized medicine, etc. — will be introduced as “anti-terrorism” bills.

    Unlike their treatment of the right-wing nuts, the unbiased mainstream media will take such ideas seriously.

    …That is why I have insisted that Congress pass strong anti-terrorism legislation immediately…

    …I would like to say something to [those of you] who believe the greatest threat to America comes not from terrorists from … beyond our borders, but from our own government…

    …But I also know there have been lawbreakers among those who espouse your philosophy….

    …The people who came to the United States to bomb the World Trade Center were wrong….

    …If you treat law enforcement officers who put their lives on the line for your safety every day like some kind of enemy army to be suspected…you are wrong….

    …How dare you suggest that we in the freest nation on Earth live in tyranny….

    …[T]here is nothing patriotic about hating your country, or pretending that you can love your country but despise your government…..

    -The President of the United States

  8. Some police officer will shoot an innocent person to death, and receive a suspension slightly-longer than basketball player Carmelo Anthony’s.

    Since law enforcement officers are already held to a higher standard than civilians, police unions will protest this outrage, and try to get the suspension reduced.

    Police officers should have the right to be presumed innocent until proven guilty. And any criticism of them violates this fundamental right.

  9. Thanks for continuing to fight the good fight, Balko. It astonishes me that there isn’t more outrage whipped up on a regular basis in this country.

    That said, articles like this aren’t condusive to proper digestion of one’s morning coffee…

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