Hello, Nurse!

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At Arizona's Heart Attack Grill, servers dressed as nurses serve a "quadruple bypass burger" clearly cooked up to provoke Bloombergian scolds. Any customer who can finish the burger–four half-pound beef patties, cheese, bacon, and all–gets a wheelchair ride to her car at no extra cost. But it's not the food porn that has people upset:

The waitresses wear skimpy, cleavage-baring outfits, high heels and thigh-high stockings—a male fantasy that some nursing organizations say is an insult to the profession.

"Nurses are the most sexually fantasized-about profession," said Sandy Summers, executive director of the Center for Nursing Advocacy, based in Baltimore. "We're asking people, if they're going to have these fantasies, please don't make it so public. Move these sexual fantasies to other professions."

The most serious complaint [Owner Jon] Basso has faced was made to the Arizona attorney general's office by the state Board of Nursing. In September, the attorney general's office wrote Basso a letter informing him that he is illegally using the word "nurse" at his restaurant and on his Web site. Citing Arizona Statute A.R.S. 32-1636, the attorney general said only someone who has a valid nursing license can use the title "nurse."

Whole thing here.

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  1. Is it just me, or is Sandy Summers the perfect name for a naughty nurse?

  2. I have nothing to add about nanny-state food regulations or the ethics of having waitresses dress as exaggerated stereotypes.

    I just wanted to give you props for the Animaniacs reference.

  3. “Nurses are the most sexually fantasized-about profession,” said Sandy Summers, executive director of the Center for Nursing Advocacy, based in Baltimore. “We’re asking people, if they’re going to have these fantasies, please don’t make it so public. Move these sexual fantasies to other professions.”

    I’m going back to fantasizing about nuns just to placate Sandy Summers. Who says I’m not politically correct now?

  4. “Nurses are the most sexually fantasized-about profession. . . . We’re asking people, if they’re going to have these fantasies, please don’t make it so public. Move these sexual fantasies to other professions.”

    Anyone want to take her up on the invitation? What are some other professions to fantasize about?

    My own suggestion would be librarians.

  5. Mmmmmm….. librarians…

  6. Nurses are the most sexually fantasized-about profession.

    Nonsense. Lawyers are. All those . . . prolix briefs. That . . . oral ability.

    Plus, nothing’s hotter than a girl in a suit with a short skirt, wearing glasses. Mrow!

  7. “Nurses are the most sexually fantasized-about profession.”

    Mmmmmmmm, hookers.

  8. gets a wheelchair ride to her car at no extra cost.

    Considering how the waitresses are dressed, I think it’s safe to say that only men would order this burger.

    Or are they promising a ride to the waitress’ car? Now that’s what I call marketing.

  9. This place looks awesome!! Their menu consists of a whopping 7 items. Single, double, and triple bypass burgers; fries; soda, and beer; and cigarettes. To top it off, Geraldo is going to be there on wednesday, and from the looks of it he will be at large.

  10. I dunno, how ’bout we fantasize about bloggers? They seem to be an under-utilized population for that sort of thin.

    A Kos, Glenn Reynolds, Huffington menage, now thats HOT.

  11. My own suggestion would be librarians.

    The disturbing image of Laura Bush popped up in my head when I read that. Yikes!

  12. I’m trying to find the connection between the “most sexually fantasized-about profession” and that being a bad thing. Or how men are unable to figure out the diffrences between nurse Vavavoom and nurse Diana Lopez of Children’s Medical Center.

  13. I just fantasize about whatever’s handy.

  14. Citing Arizona Statute A.R.S. 32-1636, the attorney general said only someone who has a valid nursing license can use the title “nurse.”

    Can a woman get in trouble for breast feeding her baby if she doesn’t have a nursing license? Will the cops pounce when she says “I’m going to nurse my baby?”

  15. Does anyone else get the feeling that there are a lot of people in this country who need to lighten the hell up?

  16. Does anyone else get the feeling that there are a lot of people in this country who need to lighten the hell up?

    The posters here agree with you, it appears.

  17. “Nurses are the most sexually fantasized-about profession,” said Sandy Summers, executive director of the Center for Nursing Advocacy

    We wish to register our indignity at this gross mischaracterization. We all know flight attendants are the most sexually fantasized about profession. We have worked ahem… long and hard to achieve this status for our members and we will not have it usurped by those glorified bed pan changers.

  18. You know, market research has shown that librarians are more of a niche sexual fetish.

    Of course, the “falling for the nurse” thing has crossed over into mainstream literature (cc, Hemingway, Morrison et al).

    However, all such individuals–nurses, nuns, librarians, what have you, are themselves, given relative age and degree of personal repression, merely a subcategory of that holy grail of fetish objects.

    Gentlemen, I give you the M.I.L.F.

  19. Flight Attendants Union,

    That may have once been true. But, ever since you guys ditched weight restrictions your stock has dropped. Currently you are somewhere between lunch ladies and IHOP waitresses on the most fantasized about profession list. Unless of course the fantasy in question is retro or the flight attendants in your fantasy happen to work for an Asian carrier.

  20. “Nurses are the most sexually fantasized-about profession,” said Sandy Summers, executive director of the Center for Nursing Advocacy

    *sigh*

    Once again we engineers get passed over.

  21. What about teachers? Short skirt, stern stare and a ruler in hand. >shudder

  22. I’ve got a stripper friend in Baltimore who was none too pleased to hear this. That Sandy bitch better not stroll down the Block anytime soon.

  23. What about teachers?

    I had speech therapy when I was about 10, and my therapist was hot.

    There must have been some serious imprinting going on during those sessions, because when I met my wife she was finishing up a degree in…speech therapy.

  24. db

    At the U of Alberta, it was well known that, among females, the highest percentage of virgins was in the faculty of nursing.

    Seems they all dated engineers.

  25. This is from a nursings magazine, where she decries nursing’s protrayal in the media;


    Q: Where do you see the most harm being done?

    A: Television’s ER has got to be nursing’s public enemy No.1. They reach so many people; 20 million to 30 million in the U.S., tens of millions more around the world.-Sandy Summers

    Jesus Christ.

  26. Does being a Catholic schoolgirl count as a profession? Or, better yet, Japanese schoolgirls dressed as Catholic schoolgirls? If so, they’re number one (????) in my book.

    I also have a thing for tight bodied little military girls in form-fitting BDUs; mmmmm… Of course, I am a little biased.

  27. Wow, this is becoming one of those things where I develop an unhealthy amount of self-righteous obsessive out rage about it;

    http://www.heartattackgrill.com/
    (from the small print)
    *The use of the word “Nurse” above is only intended as a parody. None of the women pictured on our website actually have any medical training, nor do they attempt to provide any real medical services. It should be made clear that the Heart Attack Grill and its employees do NOT offer any therapeutic treatments (aside from laughter) whatsoever.

  28. Does anyone else get the feeling that there are a lot of people in this country who need to lighten the hell up?

    I think they’ve got way too much time on their hands. Maybe if they had a real job?

    “Nurses are the most sexually fantasized-about profession,” said Sandy Summers, executive director of the Center for Nursing Advocacy, based in Baltimore.

    Don’t know if there’s a connection, but I’ve noticed that among my female concealed handgun students nurses make up the second largest professional group, behind real estate agents.

  29. I get the impression Sandy Summers has never seen a male stripper. Cops and firemen are far more likely to be the object of female fantasies than nurses. You don’t hear them bitching about being the victim of adolescent sexual fixations, do you?

    As for me, I fantasize about having phone sex with the mortgage trolls that call me five times a day.

  30. I almost hired a member of the species Ginglymostoma cirratum to take care of my ailing relatives. Thank goodness the Arizona attorney general is on the job to protect me from such blatant misrepresentation!

  31. Uh, maids, anyone? Particularly the French variety.

    Any nurse fantasies would tend to be destroyed by actual hospital visits.

  32. Just checked out the website, imagine how well they would do with attractive wait staff?

  33. My fantasies focus on those HOT!!! Reason writers Kerry Howley and Katherine Mangu-Ward.

  34. Speaking of causing quadruple bypasses. This thread is a sausagefest wrapped in bacon.

  35. “Nurses are the most sexually fantasized-about profession,” said Sandy Summers, executive director of the Center for Nursing Advocacy

    *sigh*

    Once again we engineers get passed over.

    *sigh*

    Yes, once again.

    the attorney general said only someone who has a valid nursing license can use the title “nurse.”

    On the other hand, you don’t hear us complaining about the people who drive trains.

  36. Don’t know if there’s a connection, but I’ve noticed that among my female concealed handgun students nurses make up the second largest professional group, behind real estate agents.

    It is very easy to understand why RE agents would be interested in carrying concealed weapons – lots of nights in strange neighborhoods in vacant homes with strange people. Nurses, on the other hand, do you think the defenseless victims they see in the ER make them want the protection? Doctors & patients who won’t take no for an answer?

  37. What I want to know is: Where’s the study that shows that nurses are the most fantasized-about? Can I get a copy of that? In a brown paper bag? To go?

  38. Highnumber:

    Nurses often work swing and graveyard shifts in urban areas.

    And this sandy chic, what an ego on her! Nurses more fantasized about than strippers or “dancers”? Not likely. Nurses actually repulse me. Needeles and rubber tubing? Not sexy.

  39. Highnumber, I read that ER doctors and nurses ranked among the most dangerous jobs in America, in terms of how likely they were to be injured on the job. There are some scary people who come into ERs.

  40. Thanks for the info, Nurse Howley.

  41. So is it still okay to fantasize about male nurses?

  42. As a Tempe resident, I am sorely tempted to visit this restaurant. Too bad there’s nothing on the menu I could eat without dying shortly thereafter.

  43. “The attorney general’s office sent a follow-up letter on Nov. 22 saying the Web site cleared up the issue [by printing a disclaimer about the term ‘nurse’], and it was resolved.”

    That’s good to know — I initially assumed they were being hassled *despite* the disclaimer.

    George Tenet Fangirl,

    I suppose there would be no problem about fantasizing about male nurses, but fantasizing about George Tenet indicates that you have some issues.

  44. “Maurice Girodias,” eh?

    GET BACK TO WORK, CAVANAUGH!!!

  45. actually the weirdest fetish among anyone i know is a friend who is going to nursing school

    she’s turned on by injured people

    works out for everyone as far i’m concerned

  46. I think Sandy Summers has fantasies of her own.

  47. No wait, maybe Summers is right. Lessee, when I’m old and decrepit……….

    hot little twenty something nurse with a wine bar….oh yeah, that works.

  48. “Maurice Girodias,” eh?

    GET BACK TO WORK, CAVANAUGH!!!

    I appreciate the misappelation. But I work in DBs, ethics preventing me from ever taking the filthy lucre of the Tribune Company.

    /The Librarian book is the only pink one I bring to mainstream book shows.
    //Helps to sell The Asian stuff.
    ///And makes a lovely Christmas gift!

  49. Geraldo’s gonnna be there on Wednesday!

    Hey, they aren’t real nurses. Wait. Not fair. I’ve been had. Or just wish I’d been.

  50. Nurses are fantasized about by patients on drugs.

  51. All this discussion of “most sexually fantasized-about professions” and no one has mentioned French maids yet? Gotta be #1.

    Cheerleaders must be #2.

    Nurses, maybe #3.

    Airline stewardesses once upon a time, back when they were still called “airline stewardesses.”

    Then teachers and librarians.

    Then “businesswomen,” if wearing pinstriped miniskirted suits, and “secretaries” back when they were just “secretaries.”

    (Yes, this is getting progressively more and more sexist.)

    And I guess “student” (Catholic schoolgirl) can be considered a profession.

    Also, geishas.

    And then superheroines.

    And then female reporters/journalists.

    I’m pretty sure linguists are in there somewhere too.

  52. I’m a little pissed that I just heard about this restaurant today. It’s right down the road. I will have to check it out and see how good it is.

    Highnumber,

    The company I work for builds hospitals, I have seen whole lobbies with bulletproof glass and drywall. Having been to some of these jobs, I wouldn’t go there after dark without a gun and few extra clips.

    Nick

  53. Stevo, those stews are the same ones that went to work for the majors when they were sweet young things back in the sixties and seventies. They still work there.

    I dated a girl once who had a little girl that wanted to grow up to be a Spanish maid. She ended up as a Deadhead instead.

  54. I’m pretty sure linguists are in there somewhere too.

    Softball.

    superheroines

    Not Wonderwoman. Maybe Elastagirl.

  55. This is way better than Hooters.

  56. “she’s turned on by injured people”

    Hmm,

    The perfect Xmas present for your friend…

    J.G. Ballard’s “Crash”

    Or if she prefers DVD’s there was a David Cronenberg film (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115964/) made of the novel with James Spader (not the more recent oscar fave). Creepy erotic.

  57. I’m going to sue any amusement park that uses the word “vampire” in their haunted houses. Because they’re not really vampires! Bwooohahahaha!

  58. Yeah, this was on 20/20 with John Stoseel awhile ago

  59. Honestly, I’ve always associated nurses with bedpans and vomit.

    Librarians all the way!

  60. I got bored with provoking the squares at about 21, and I consider myself a late bloomer.

  61. is the food any good? the pictures don’t really sell it too well.

  62. . Citing Arizona Statute A.R.S. 32-1636, the attorney general said only someone who has a valid nursing license can use the title “nurse.”

    Er…so what do they do about actors on stage and screen? Do they have open warrants out for the chick who plays Carla on “Scrubs”?

  63. Any nurse fantasies would tend to be destroyed by actual hospital visits.

    So true.

    Real nurses = fat women in ugly pajamas.

  64. Google hits for:

    naked teachers = 1,760,000
    naked reporters = 1,060,000
    naked journalists = 997,000
    naked secretaries = 911,000
    naked geishas = 820,000
    naked “Dick Cheney” = 629,000
    naked librarians = 438,000
    naked linguists = 352,000
    naked superheroines = 205,000
    naked cheerleaders = 121,000
    naked nurses = 98,600
    naked stewardesses = 56,900
    naked “French maids” = 56,800
    naked “Catholic schoolgirls” = 42,200
    naked businesswomen = 28,100

    Draw your own conclusions.

  65. Anyone can enjoys with Kamagra . It could be most fantastic night ever.

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