Study: 99 Percent of the Internet Wasted

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As part of a protracted attempt to prove that the Web is merely a conduit for dirty pictures, the DOJ recently paid this guy to look at porn all day. The Justice Department wants to know just how many Web pages are smut-filled, and the magic number appears to be 1.1 percent. This kind of analysis only makes sense if you think the Internet is a dump truck or a landfill—and perilously close to full. (Imagine what we could do with that extra 1.1. percent of Internet!)

The DOJ seems to think that these findings help the case for the Child Online Protection Act (COPA), and the Financial Times reports that the study "could add to pressure in the US for a fresh legal crackdown on online pornography." What porn percentage, we might ask, would the DOJ have found acceptable? Eleven years ago Time reported that the Web was basically one big orgy; 1.1 percent seems pretty tame.

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  1. What porn percentage, we might ask, would the DOJ have found acceptable?

    That’s an easy one. Zero percent. Of course, they’d need more funding to make sure the zero stays that way.

  2. the DOJ recently paid this guy to look at porn all day.

    Where do I send my resume?

  3. Hmmm…I’d say that number was low but then thought about the Freepers on Julian’s “Sweet Tears” thread and realized most of the Intarweb is people calling one another “asshat.”

  4. To put this in perspective, assuming this percentage reflects the percentage of time people devote to pornography that would mean people spend about 15 minutes a day “using” pornography. Doesn’t seem like an absurb amount to me.
    (Note: I know there’s a lot of assumptions in going from the percent porn on the web to the percent of time people devote to porn.)

  5. Are the tubes clogged?

  6. Maybe it’s only 1% but what is that 1%’s share in terms of popularity (i.e. number of visits)? I’m betting that it is a multiple.

    Because “The internet is for porn”

    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5430343841227974645

  7. that would mean people spend about 15 minutes a day “using” pornography.

    11 minutes to find the good stuff and 4 minutes to “use” it.

  8. “Are the tubes clogged?”

    No, but evidently the DOJ would like to tie them.

  9. I’d be interested to find out how much bandwidth does porn account for. I’d guess, from looking at my bookmarks, that the number would be around 40%.

  10. Only 1.1%? It seems to me that Reason has an obligation to become a porn site. The political:porn ratio is getting dangerously out of whack.

  11. I have this image of all the pron that guy looked at being carefully saved to giant hard drives and put in that warehouse with the Ark of the Covenant.

    Except the midget stuff. That goes straight to AG Gonzo’s office for further review.

  12. I wish only 1.1% of my email was porn-related.

  13. Kerry: Great title for your post!

  14. I bet if they increased the definition of porn to include pr0n, the percentage would shoot up a fair amount. And if they include slash fanfiction, it would probably top out at 80%

  15. Only 1.1%? It seems to me that Reason has an obligation to become a porn site. The political:porn ratio is getting dangerously out of whack.

    That’s true. Where has the Reason Pillow Girl been lately?

  16. plunge is right. Are they counting Kirk on Spock fanfiction in these numbers? How about Furry Skritching sites? That would put the number up by several percentage points easy.

  17. I think I just found the topic of my next grant proposal.

  18. There are things other than porn on the Internet?

  19. The Republicans banned internat gambling right before the election. That should free up some bandwidth for erotica.

  20. Actually Internet porn is the greatest child protection device in history. Before email you had to search a pedophile’s house to find his photographs and try to trace his confederates through the mail, or assign an underage-looking cop to run a face-to-face sting.

    Now any 50-year-old Colombo-style detective who can type preteen IM lingo can hunt down, connect, and nail sexual predators from clear across the country.

  21. How could anyone stand to look at porn all day? I have read that the average length of time that hotel guests view a pornographic movie is seven minutes.

    I recall an obscenity trial I once attended in Louisiana. One lengthy scene from the movie showed two men and a woman on a boat that was moving rapidly across the lake. One man and the woman engaged in a variety of sexual acts for several minutes, at which time the other man joined in. From that point on, my most prominent thought was, “Who’s piloting the boat?”

    Watching porn gets tedious very quickly.

  22. Just in case they crack down on the Internet, I’m stocking up on porn now.

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