The Meth Epidemic Comes To Sesame Street

|

elmo on meth.jpg

The Smoking Gun reports on how Sesame Street can now claim to the latest in the long line of places claiming to be the "meth capital of the world":

A Colorado drug operation hid large quantities of methamphetamine inside Elmo dolls, according to federal investigators who yesterday announced the indictment of 21 alleged members of the ring. During a year-long probe, Drug Enforcement Administration agents seized an Elmo doll…in Barstow, California that was stuffed with four pounds of methamphetamine. When investigators opened up the plush doll's skull, they discovered the drug stash inside wrapped in plastic (as seen in this evidence pic). While Elmo has never previously been linked to narcotics distribution or use, the Sesame Street character appears to have no teeth, which frequently is seen in heavy meth users.

More here.

Reason on meth madness in the press here and here.

And lest we forgot, Reason reported on how Sesame Street's Bert joined the Islamic Jihad and became a close associate of Osama bin Laden's here.

osamabert2.jpg

NEXT: Hate Me Baby One More Time

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. ONE!
    TWO!
    THREE!
    FOUR!
    Four pounds of methamphetamine!
    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

  2. Ha! I knew it all along!

  3. This explains so much.

  4. We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the meth began to take hold.

    hehhehhehheheheheheheheeeeheeeeheeeeeheeeeheeeeheeeheeeeheeeheeHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

  5. We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold.

  6. Very sorry. Elmo no hit Hard Return. Elmo stupid.

  7. I always knew he was a dope fiend.

    “Shoot me up Elmo”

    http://www.bertisevil.tv/pages/bert006.htm

  8. If I never read “When investigators opened up the plush doll’s skull. . . .” again, it will be too soon.

  9. While Elmo has never previously been linked to narcotics distribution or use

    Am I the only one who remembers Shoot Me Up Elmo?

  10. Oscar from his can for having terrorist ties. Big Bird is subjected to a cavity search after Snufalupagus rats out his heroin smuggling gig. The baker who keeps falling down the stairs now has a painkiller addiction and has been doctor-shopping. Bert & Ernie are revealed to have an illegal gay marriage…

    Is this how Avenue Q got started?

  11. Elmo is the only thing that vibrates faster than a tweaker.

  12. The use of an Osama-Evil Bert image by protesters was the funniest moment in the War on Terror. It also tells us something about the common man who supports bin Laden, though what that “something” is, I’m not quite sure.

  13. When investigators opened up the plush doll’s skull…

    Dolls have skulls?

  14. So what does this mean for plushies and furbies?

    That shit with Bert in the protest poster just never gets less funny–I still crack up whenever I see that photo.

  15. The whole Evil Burt thing is great.

  16. Is this how Avenue Q got started?

    Hey, I went to see this show just last week.

    Any else seen it? Must say, I was a little disappointed. It wasn’t as funny as I was hoping.

    Still, better than the Mary Poppins debacle my lady friend got us tickets for. Jesus, sitting through that was like chewing glass.

  17. Hey, has anyone seen the road version of Spamalot? It’s coming to Tampa soon.

    You know, I think I may write a play about Evil Bert. Maybe I could get away with it with what’s left of parody protection. Not that there’s anything funny about Bert.

  18. “””You know, I think I may write a play about Evil Bert. Maybe I could get away with it with what’s left of parody protection. Not that there’s anything funny about Bert.””””

    There will be if you write that play!

    Come on people, drug use isn’t new with this crowd. Why do you think Cookie Monster has had the munchies all these years?

  19. …his interest in Bert stemmed from a childhood fear of Bert’s single, oversized eyebrow.

    Thus supporting my thesis that unibrows are “uni”versally frightening to everyone worldwide. Maybe there is still hope to unite Islam and the Western world, through hatred of this common enemy.

  20. I’m re-envisioning the plot line of Heart of Darkness with Evil Bert in the role of Kurtz. Bert Kurtz.

  21. Tweaker Me Elmo

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.