Hazy Intent

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Pinellas County, Florida, has approved an ordinance that imposes a 60-day jail sentence and a $500 fine for selling drug paraphernalia. Unlike the state's paraphernalia law, which requires prosecutors to show that a vendor intended his merchandise to be used with illegal drugs, the county's ordinance bans selling an item "under circumstances where one reasonably should know" that it will be put to an illicit use. (This standard is closer to the one used under federal law, which the Supreme Court has interpreted to require an "objective" definition of paraphernalia, based on "a product's likely use.") The St. Peterburg Times reports that the ordinance inspired some creative protest:

Tamara Pare, 23, an employee of Purple Haze Tobacco & Accessories in St. Petersburg, spoke [at the county commissioners' meeting] while dressed in red heels, a short, peach-colored skirt and a black halter top.

Pare said she was a "visual metaphor" that underscored the ridiculousness of the "reasonably should know" standard in the new law.

"Many reasonable people today might see me dressed like this and think I'm a prostitute," Pare told the board.

NEXT: The 10 Dirtiest Political Races in U.S. History

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  1. To barrow a popular line from Fark:

    This thread is useless without pics.

  2. JAT, I found a picture in a posting on the local Time Warner cable news station. I don’t think she looks like a prostitute in that shot. More like a headshop employee or something.

  3. In the olden times, history informs us, when faced with a situation where there was no alternative method, pot could be smoked using a beer can with holes poked in an indentation near the bottom (one inhales through the orifice previously used for extraction of the nectar).

    Not that I… et c, et c…

    Tell me they are going to ban the sale of beer in cans- I want to see the streets run red with the blood of county commissars.

  4. JAT, I found a picture in a posting on the local Time Warner cable news station. I don’t think she looks like a prostitute in that shot. More like a headshop employee or something.

  5. P Brooks, History also reminds us to poke a second hole in the can, at about 90 degrees from the perforated “screen” area.
    History knows we need this hole to act as a “carburetor” in order to push the sweet honey-kissed smoke from the can to our needful lung tissue.

    Once History even used a strategically cored apple and a scrap of tin-foil. History thought it was fun to use the apple in its alternative role before class, and proceed to eat the apple in class! History is one funny stoned sum-bitch!

    Ban the fruit, ban the fruit…red delicious are the handiwork of satan!

    Of course, I never actually inhaled…

  6. There’s also Home Depot, where History tells us one may find pipe fittings made of brass and food-grade clear plastic tubing, and if one needs them drills, bits and silicone sealants so one has a good tight seal.

    Stoner ingenuity will always find a way to smoke, however ugly or utilitarian the result. No damnfool paraphernalia law is ever going to change that.

  7. ProLibertate: The cameraguy could’ve got a better angle. That pic doesn’t even look like she’s wearing a skirt.

  8. Perhaps she isn’t. We have different mores down here in the Bay Area.

    Since this was a woman intentionally dressing slutty, I’m 100% positive that you’ll get better pictures within a matter of minutes. The Internet is all-powerful.

  9. …history informs us, when faced with a situation where there was no alternative method, pot could be smoked using a beer can with holes poked in an indentation near the bottom…

    …History also reminds us to poke a second hole in the can, at about 90 degrees from the perforated “screen” area….

    …History tells us one may find pipe fittings made of brass and food-grade clear plastic tubing…

    And none of you mentioned the 2-liter coke bottle gravity bong? Some historians you are…

  10. Not only is this policy not going to prevent anybody from smoking pot, it’s probably going to result in more pot being smoked. What do you think the local stoners are going to end up buying with the money they were planning to spend on a bong?

  11. MattXIV,

    Time with that prostitute who went to the County Commission meeting?

  12. Hey, stop misquoting me! I only use harder drugs.

  13. Hey, stop misquoting me! I only use harder drugs.

  14. Bongs Don’t Get People High, Good Ganja Does.

    I didn’t even have to get past the definitions section of this retarded ordinance to see that it covers grow lights, rolling papers, or anything that could be used to deliver drugs.

    So far we’ve got plumbing supplies, fruit, aluminum cans, and paper. I’m sure with the brain power in this audience we can think of a few hundred more things that could be a problem in Pinellas County.

    Maybe the commissioners will re-think when they are told the plumbing in the county building can’t be fixed and they have to wipe their asses with their ties.

    What’s next? Tie-dyes. Because the guy who makes them has a reasonable belief that the buyer is gonna get high in it some day.

  15. History better remember not to use any PVC tubes. Otherwise History’s memory might be a thing of the past.

  16. TP explanation: History had told me of several occasions where he used an empty toilet paper roll in a pinch. Actually, the sheer volume of air that can be inhaled through a smoke-filled cardboard tube, (when History moves his non-lighter hand), initiates what History informs me is known as a “steam-roller” effect. Such an effect is characterized by one’s sinuses being instantly lit afire and one’s synapses instantly slowing to space-normal speed.

    And… Exhale cowboy, History has made you right again.

  17. Yep, as long as people eat, poop, and require toilet paper, the toilet paper tube and a bit of aluminun foil will foil the prohibitionists.

  18. History seems to have plundered all the brass screens out of the faucets in his house.

    Why would History do that?

  19. History also says that many pipes were made in shop class.

  20. History has been seen with oddly bleary eyes after eating foodstuffs that were made with some infused butter or other fat. He says that he has tried funny tasting, strangely colored alcomahol that packed a crazy buzz, too.

  21. History has told me that he has forgotten the technique for forming “alcomahol”. (Alas, a result of far too many Phish shows and opium smoking back in the 90’s). He begs highnumber to refresh his recollection of the aforementioned process.

    Please, do tell.

  22. Pinellas Co pot heads are the German enginiers of homade smoking devices. Store bought bongs are for faries and frat boys.

  23. Pinellas Co pot heads are the German enginiers of homade smoking devices. Store bought bongs are for frat boys.

  24. German Engineers of devices, maybe.

    Definetly the George Dubya Bushs of spelling, though.

  25. …homade smoking devices.

    Definetly the George Dubya Bushs of spelling, though.

    Maybe they are German prostitutes?

    cecil,

    I, myself, only saw the bottle at a party. I do remember washing something foul tasting down my throat with a rum creme chaser. Does anyone know where to find rum creme stateside?

    Funny story about reefer infused booze:
    My buddy’s house was raided (that part not so funny), and, although he was arrested, tried, and convicted for dealing (a small amount – he was no dealer. An acquaintence unwittingly brought over an undercover cop and my buddy thought he was doing a favor by selling them a sack out of his personal oz.), but the cops and their dogs never noticed the bottle resting on a ledge in plain sight.

  26. When History did time (haha) for marijuana possesion he used the now-famous-on-this-thread toiletpaper role carburator to get high in jail.

  27. Get me an avocado, an ice pick and my snorkel. Trust me, bro. I’ve made bongs with less.

  28. Hi, I’m Steve and I’m a PinellasCounty resident and taxpayer.

    HI STEVE!

    I just wanted to say we just got to love when local politicians demonstrate their own ability to utterly pander to the morally conservative segment of the voter base by passing a law that is virtually unenforceable and if enforced at some point would likely have already been equally prosecutable under existing laws.

    Chances of anyone being arrested and truly prosecuted under the new law are remote and anyone who is would have been able to be successfully prosecuted under the previous laws.

    Oh, did I mention that sometimes PC residents say things twice to increase emphasis?

    CHAMBER OF COMMERCE SIDE NOTE: Anyone else besides me notice that the Purple Haze Faux Prostitute chick was wearing a thin tank top in mid October?

    I didn’t even see goosebumps on her arms so you know what that says about our weather here…..

    WORD

  29. Steve, it’s only fair that y’all get some loonies on your side of the bay 🙂

  30. I’m talking about government officials, you understand. Not the prostitute. Or the Scientologists.

  31. Blame Clearwater High. Also, I was typing at an Apple Store while on vacation. But, mostly it was the Clearwater High education.

  32. History has learned, when at festivals, that a $5 cookie is worth $5 for a reason.

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