UFO Cult's Pleasure Hospital: Come for the Clitoral Restoration, Stay for the Anal Probe

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If you've been wondering what the Raelians have been up to since mastering the intricate art of human cloning, 10 Zen Monkeys has the answer:

Rael…has undertaken to single-handedly restore the clitorises (clitori?) of African women disfigured by the tribal ritual of clitoral excision.

The details, such as they are, can be found at the Clitoraid website. Its science may be shaky, but the site gets points for the headlines "Adopt a Clitoris, You Can Help Make History" and "We Will Build the 'Pleasure Hospital.'"

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  1. The plural is “clitorises,” unless you want to be pedantic and use the Greek “clitorides.” “Clitori” is just psuedo-Latin, and anyone using it pulls off the neat trick of looking simultaneously pendantic and ignorant.

  2. Where could the Little Woman sign up to be a donor? Hers has very low mileage.
    (I’m in such trouble now.)

  3. Wow. Two posts on a thread about clitorises?

    (– or three, including mine).

    (My COMMENT).

    H&R commenters really are losing steam. This town has become a ghost town (too much fighting on the dancefloor).

  4. Adopt a clitoris.
    For only pennies a day, you can help a clitoris get medicine and an education.
    Every month, you’ll receive a letter from the clitoris.

  5. One of the, uh, clickables on the site says “A touching testimony.”

  6. O what the heck, I might as well post about clitorises too. As my daddy taught me: If you can’t join ’em, lick em.

  7. smacky,
    Evidently Sally the server squirrel was temporarily laid up with a case of clitoral excision?

  8. This is such a sad statement to make, but I wish I knew as much about clitorises as I do about anarcho-capitalism.

    I have studied much. The trick is finding more opportunities to apply this theoretical knowledge in the real world. It is difficult to generalize with confidence from a few isolated cases.

  9. I saw an episode of Nip Tuck about something like this.

    I don’t know that much about surgery. Does anyone know hown well this kind of thing works? Is the new clitoris as good as an original?

    I would hope that this kind of surgery could be successful, but the Raelians don’t exactly strike me as having alot of credibility and it seems like there would be alot of nerve endings to reattach and connections to make.

  10. BG: As far as I know, the surgery being described is well beyond the ken of our Earth scientists. Of course, they don’t have the Elohim whispering surgical secrets in their ears.

  11. These Raelians are truly doing the Lord’s work. Now, about getting my foreskin back…

  12. Gentlemen,

    If you want to please your women, lick the alphabet.

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