Alas, it Will Still be 1,468 Years Until Everything You Think, Do, and Say Will Be in the Pill You Took

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In the year 2067, you can get an email sent to yourself….today! (Remember: the laundry will probably be pretty rank by then.)

NEXT: Not All Suicides Take Other People With Them. And Maybe That's the Problem.

Brian Doherty is a senior editor at Reason and author of Ron Paul's Revolution: The Man and the Movement He Inspired (Broadside Books).

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  1. smacky

    Will I also be able to automatically understand Spanish or Portugese in the year 2067?

    I wonder if all of those spams that I receive in Spanish are a result of a bizarre joke that my future self is playing on my past self, in that case.

  2. Stevo Darkly

    Hmm. When I went to the link, it appeared to be in that so-called “French” language.

  3. Umbriel

    So only now is the Internet able to accomplish something that the regular US Post Office does routinely…

  4. smacky

    Stevo,

    Right after I made the first comment, I tried to post a follow up comment correcting myself, but the server ate it (although I swear it was Spanish or Portugese the first time I loaded the page!).

    So in other words, my dog ate my homework.

  5. Brian Doherty

    Stevo–Click the “english version here” link up top, that strangely takes you to an english page (whose browser address is the same as the French one) from which I grabbed the URl for the link.

  6. M

    >an english page (whose browser address is the same as the French one)<<br />
    In anticipation of an internet-facilitated exclusively anglo world?

    Brush up your Shakespeare.

  7. Pro Libertate

    In the year 3535
    Ain’t gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies.

  8. Karen

    Gee, thanks guys. I now have the only song from the 60’s WORSE than Ballad of the Green Berets stuck in my head. So stuck, in fact, that I can’t come up with anything appropriate to curse you all with in response.

  9. Pro Libertate

    Karen, the specific cure for “In the Year 2525” is to listen to “Ina Gadda da Vida”. . .all the way through.

  10. Aresen

    And the cure for “Ina Gadda da Vida” is “Now I’m A Believer.”

    Fortunately, I have managed to implant portions of Handel’s “Messiah” for immunity.

  11. highnumber

    I always get instrumentals stuck in my head. I had the Sanford & Son theme stuck there from about 1992 until around 1999. At least that was better than the calliope circus music it replaced.

  12. M

    2067, not 1967.

  13. Buckshot

    Now I have “Leader of the Pack” stuck in my head. You Bastards!

  14. Fledermaus

    The Process

    The sending of an e-mail in the future does adress to the correspondant a notification’s email.

    Then, the message is store on internet until the good date and delivered to the correspondant.

    In the case this one has changed of email adress, it will be possible for him to read his message on the web site using either a password or a mnemotechnic key (via this form).

    For some reason I tend to doubt that these people have mastered communication across time.

  15. Fledermaus

    The Process

    The sending of an e-mail in the future does adress to the correspondant a notification’s email.

    Then, the message is store on internet until the good date and delivered to the correspondant.

    In the case this one has changed of email adress, it will be possible for him to read his message on the web site using either a password or a mnemotechnic key (via this form).

    For some reason I tend to doubt that these people have mastered communication across time.

  16. Pro Libertate

    highnumber,

    Whoa, buddy, don’t you go hatin’ on Quincy Jones.

  17. Stevo Darkly

    smacky — I believe you. The Internet holds many inexplicable mysteries.

    (By the way, I think the way to tell the difference between Spanish and Portugese is that Portugese is like Spanish with more “gu” and “ao” in it.)

    Brian: Stevo–Click the “english version here” link up top, that strangely takes you to an english page (whose browser address is the same as the French one) from which I grabbed the URl for the link.

    Thank you for the tip. Just for that, I will forgive you for stealing and marrying the only woman I ever loved.

    All: The ultimate way of cleansing a stuck song out of your ears is to think of the theme from Gilligan’s Island.

  18. kevrob

    To cleanse earwigs, play the Ramones at 11, and look out for exploding mice.

    Kevin

  19. Speak english, goddamnit! This is teh innernets, for chrissakes!

  20. smacky

    The song that usually pops in my head and gets stuck for the past few months has been “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” by the Beach Boys. It varies in my mind between pleasantly catchy and cruelly deranged, depending on the situation I’m in at the moment. Ultimately curable only by suicide.

    highnumber,

    I sympathize…as a child I used to get the theme from Night Court stuck in my head.

    At least that was better than the calliope circus music it replaced.

    Are you familiar with Kids in the Hall? You mean like the tiny oompah band in Darrell’s mind?

  21. Wally the bird

    Dose that mean we,ll be able to juust beam ourselves from NEW YORK to LA in justafew minutes will we have terriformed MARS and be living there will we travel to the far side of the galaxy? say ARDILIUS II?

  22. Wally the bird

    Dose that mean we,ll be able to juust beam ourselves from NEW YORK to LA in justafew minutes will we have terriformed MARS and be living there will we travel to the far side of the galaxy? say ARDILIUS II?

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