German ambulance chaser serves man



A Berlin lawyer is offering to get government compensation for clients who have been abducted by extraterrestrials. Like the twins paradox and causality anomalies, the unforeseeable ironies of space travel are exceeded only by the unforeseen ironies of law. In this case, it's a German law offering state compensation to kidnap victims. Can cattle ranchers be far behind in the search for alien compensation? The lawyer has yet to bring a case to victory, but he's boldly going where no lawyer has gone before:

"There's quite obviously demand for legal advice here," Jens Lorek told Reuters by telephone on Thursday. "The trouble is, people are afraid of making fools of themselves in court."

But what about the notoriously publicity-shy greys? How do you get them to show up in court? Just try and serve a subpoena on the Reticulians, with their antigrav devices and speedy ships!

My unironic, and unoriginal, theory on alien abduction claims is that they're cases of sleep paralysis. So maybe the makers of NoDoz should be liable.

Last year, Kerry Howley spoke with Susan Clancy, a recovered-memory skeptic and author of Abducted: How People Come to Believe They Were Kidnapped By Aliens.