PETA for One Welcomes Our New Cockroach Overlords[*]

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The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is bugged at an Illinois Six Flags amusement park that is offering "unlimited line-jumping privileges" to anyone who eats an live Madagascar hissing cockroach, which can grow up to three inches long:

A spokeswoman for the animal rights organization says the contest at the amusement park's FrightFest is "gratuitously cruel."…

Amusement park officials are defending their menu choice. Great America spokesman Jim Taylor says the bugs are nutritious, high in protein and fat free.

Whole thing here.

PETA's greatest line ever? "Six million Jews died in concentration camps, but six billion broiler chickens will die this year in slaughterhouses."

[*]: Headline allusion alert here.

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  1. “A spokeswoman for the animal rights organization says the contest at the amusement park’s FrightFest is “gratuitously cruel.”

    Well, yeah, but it’s not like they MAKE them eat the cockroaches.

  2. PETA are cockroaches.
    So it’s simply a matter of self-interest on their part.

  3. Shucks. I thought the head was a reference to Men in Black.

  4. BUT?

  5. Wholesale murder of cockroaches is just a day in the life of the average Floridian.

  6. It’s common courtesy to the other patrons, translating into good business sense. Would you rather be standing in front of or behind someone who had eaten such a meal?

  7. When will the internet find someone bold enough to stand up to the relentless assault of these overlords?

  8. The Penn & Teller Bullshit episode about PETA is one of my favorites, especially the part about how they euthanize more dogs than the MSPCA.

  9. You put da lime on da cock-a-roach and eat it all up.

  10. I’m trying to be helpful to PETA here.
    Get a cute naked girl to strap a plastic hissing cockroach shell to her back. Then she should walk around the entrance to Six Flags.

  11. Illinois Six Flags amusement park that is offering “unlimited line-jumping privileges” to anyone who eats an live Madagascar hissing cockroach, which can grow up to three inches long

    I would like to ask the obvious question here: What the fuck is wrong with this 6 Flags “amusement” park? Since when has eating cockroaches become “amusing”? And do people really want such a company — that decides that feeding its patrons filthy vermin is amusing — in charge of their entertainment? Are the unwashed masses really that desperate for line-jumping privliges, or is this a veiled insult to Six Flags’ customers?

  12. Will “A car in every garage and a Jew in every pot!” get you elected?

  13. “Since when has eating cockroaches become “amusing”?”

    since i read that story linked above, actually.

    i am terribly frightened of roller coasters, so i can only support their eat a roach and jump the line policy in spirit.

  14. Since when has eating cockroaches become “amusing”?

    Since June 11, 2001.

  15. ‘Will “A car in every garage and a Jew in every pot!” get you elected?’

    It worked in ’32, and it can work again!

  16. “Six million Jews died in concentration camps, but six billion broiler chickens will die this year in slaughterhouses.”

    PETA does a lot of silly things, and the Holocaust-on-your-plate campaign was obviously a mistake. But if you interpret the above as a lamentation of the fact that we are inconsistent in our concern over genuine suffering in the world, I think PETA makes a fair point.

    If you guys have seen video of factory farms, you’ll know that what those chickens go through is quite horrific.

  17. mmmm, smacky,
    pssst. You have a little piece of cockroach stuck between your teeth.

  18. I thought PeTA was merely psychotically misanthropic until I realized that they had active programs geared toward children at all age levels.

    You can check out some of their programs here (http://www.teachkind.org/), where they have obviously put a lot of time and money into evangelizing children with their anti-human message.

    PeTA is a threat that needs to be taken seriously.

  19. Loundry:

    Just like George Soros. They’re probably flouridating our tap water as we speak.

  20. Heck, if I lived closer, I’d go specifically for the chance to eat a hissing cockroach. The line-jumping is just a bonus.

    Of course, I’ve had a long-standing desire to eat one (or a portion thereof) of every non-poisonous animal on the planet – how else can I be sure I’m really at the top of the food chain?

    And now y’all know more about me than anyone ever really wanted to.

  21. Of course, I’ve had a long-standing desire to eat one (or a portion thereof) of every non-poisonous animal on the planet – how else can I be sure I’m really at the top of the food chain?

    I think feeding them to your pet sugar glider or hedgehog would be an easier and more palatable indication that you are at the top of the food chain. To each his own, I guess.

  22. “Well, humans *are* the only species that steals the milk of other species.”

    That’s the most memorable line I’ve ever heard from a PETA spokeman in an interview.

    Priceless.

  23. I live pretty close and haven’t been there this year. Maybe I should go and “take one for the team”.

    Then again, the lines aren’t that bad…

  24. PETA funnels money to the smelly hippies, anti-science neanderthals of ALF/ELF, who then destroy university buildings and threaten researchers’ lives for experimenting on bacteria.

  25. First, I will eat the cockroach. Second, I will eat the Peta.

  26. Thank you, Reason, because I never knew where the “I, for one…” line came from. Not all of us can be ironic libertarian hipsters, you know.

  27. Ayn Randian,
    Is that remark supposed to be ironic and hip?

  28. Sadly, I am not that double-secret ironic. I really didn’t know where the “overlords” quote came from.

  29. “Well, humans *are* the only species that steals the milk of other species.”

    That’s the most memorable line I’ve ever heard from a PETA spokeman in an interview.

    Priceless.

    While that may be accurate if one means literally “milk,” as in the excretion of mammary glands, it is wrong figuratively speaking. Ants not only enslave other insects, they collect “honeydew” from aphids and other insects they raise like livestock.
    Maybe the inhuman ants will be PETA’s next target.
    Those bastards ran a full page ad in my Chicago Sun-Times today with a picture of a duck being force fed for foie gras. Damn, it got me hungry!

  30. Force-feeding is pretty barbaric. I have no problem with the dumb-ass ducks gorging themselves, but I definitely draw the line at force-feeding.

  31. I think dhex would agree with me that it is simply impossible to be hip if one identifies themselves as “Ayn Randian”.

  32. andy,

    I do not understand why anyone who eats meat has any problem with foie gras. (I don’t know if you eat meat or not, but assuming you do…)
    From Sonoma Foie Gras:

    A Day in the Life

    Sonoma Foie Gras is committed to the highest standards of animal welfare, and utilizes humane and modern techniques in the raising and feeding of ducks. Ducks are never individually caged and are allowed to free range for most of their lives.

    The ducklings are received when they are one day old. They spend the first 5 – 8 weeks in a barn, under heat lamps and on bedding of wood shavings while they develop their feathers. They walk about and have access to all natural feed and water. Once they have enough feathering, they are brought out to the walnut orchards, where they continue to roam free range for about two months. Here again, they have access to all natural feed (no hormones or antibiotics), water and shade.

    During the final two weeks, they are housed in temperature-controlled barns, where they are kept in groups of about 12 ducks per pen measuring about 33 square feet. They are tube fed twice per day by the same feeder, using a pre-measured quantity of feed.

    Natural Capacity

    The first evidence of foie gras is found in ancient Egyptian history, some 45 centuries ago. In the wild, ducks and geese gorge themselves prior to migration in order to temporarily store fat in their liver and skin, which they use for energy during their migration. The managed feeding takes advantage of this ability by placing food in the esophagus through a tube, using the duck’s physiological built-in capacity to transform the excess feed into fat and store it in the liver.

    Each feeding takes only a few seconds and the pressure applied has been studied to be non-injurious to the duck. A tube is inserted down the duck’s esophagus which deposits food as it is drawn out of the esophagus. Since ducks do not have a gag reflex, throat or stomach, the food is not “crammed down the throat” or “pumped into the stomach.” Instead, the esophagus serves as a holding area for the feed while it is digested. The duck’s esophagus, as with any waterfowl such as the blue heron, which is able to swallow large, live fish, is expandable and pliable. For these reasons, the feeding tube is not harmful to the animal, as proven by scientific studies.

  33. Maybe the inhuman ants will be PETA’s next target.

    Anyone remember that guy a few weeks ago who was counselling us not even to step on ants? That was the funniest thread in a while (for me anyway). As Bugs says, Whatta Maroon.

  34. After a little thought (very little) I’ve concluded this is not for real. First, they just wouldn’t do it for liability reasons. How do you ensure safety of each bug? Second, lines should not be very long during the off-season. Third, its allegedly for a halloweeen fest.

    IF this were for real though, they couldn’t have paid for this kind of advertising. Way to go.

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