He drinks a lager drink. He drinks a cider drink.

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Who can trust a cider drinker? Drudge has an entertaining profile of Anjem Choudary, the British Muslim (or as he would prefer, Muslim living in Britain), who is calling for the execution of the pope:

It's a long way from his days as a medical student at Southampton University, where, friends say, he drank, indulged in casual sex, smoked cannabis and even took LSD. He called himself 'Andy' and was famed for his ability to drink a pint of cider in a few seconds.

One former acquaintance said: "At parties, like the rest of us, he was rarely without a joint. The morning after one party, I can remember him getting all the roaches (butts) from the spliffs we had smoked the night before out of the ashtrays, cutting them up and making a new one out of the leftovers.

"He would say he was a Muslim and was proud of his Pakistani heritage, but he didn't seem to attend any of the mosques in Southampton, and I only knew of him having white girlfriends. He certainly shared a bed with them."

Suspiciously, these reminiscences all come from former "acquaintances" and "friends," one of whom claims he or she tripped with Choudary back in the day but declines to describe the experience. (Does the Koran allow visual hallucinations?)

One thing that's a little better supported: The country Choudary hates is paying for his antics:

Despite his hatred of all things British—he says: "If British means adopting British values, then I don't think we can adopt British values. I'm a Muslim living in Britain. I have a British passport, but that's a travel document to me"—he and his family live on state benefits.

[Choudary's wife] Rubana is said by friends to claim £1,700 a month in housing benefit and income support while Choudary has also claimed £202 a month in income support.

More support for my thesis that A Clockwork Orange was the real prophetic book of the 20th century. To think that there was a time when patriotic Britons were proud to call for the execution of the pope.

NEXT: Breakfast With Pence

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  1. Those are some huevos of steel, Cavanaugh. This guy has already called for the death penalty once. What’s to say he’s not going to huff an eight-ball, drop two tabs, down a fifth and call for your hide?

  2. Weren’t the British sort of at war with the Pope, though? It may be a British tradition.

  3. “If British means adopting British values, then I don’t think we can adopt British values. I’m a Muslim living in Britain.”

    No, pal, you’re a scumbag living in Britain. Put your state handouts where your mouth is and get the hell out.

  4. No, pal, you’re a scumbag living in Britain. Put your state handouts where your mouth is and get the hell out.

    YYEEEAAAHHH!!!

    I am feeling very VERY right wing today. I think it’s all this talk about Van Damme.

    I have to get the bus past Westminister everyday and those turds are often there complaining about utter shit. Next time I drive past them I’m going to pink pancake them from the top window. If you’re wondering what this is, it’s when you push your balls up against a flat, see through surface, simulating the sight of two small/large pink pancakes.

    I might even write FREEDOM across them for dramatic effect.

    Take that terrorists!

  5. Can’t we find an excuse for a fatwa on this guy?

  6. MARK VIII [aka JCVD]

    Pink Pancakes!

    That takes cojones – in both the metaphorical and literal sense.

  7. Does anyone else see the irony in Muslims who want to kill the pope and all Christians because the pope said they were violent??

  8. Does anyone else see the irony in Muslims who want to kill the pope and all Christians because the pope said they were violent?
    Comment by: Todd

    Irony, yes indeed.

    This really goes past irony into something like circular reactionism. I thought the Intoonfada was similarly ridiculous, since the cartoons – which similarly accuse islam of a culture of hysterical, violent overreaction – provoked a hysterical, violent overreaction…

    I think the pope is getting a bad rap here, since i think his speech was a lot more detailed and nuanced than critics allowed for. But the idea that fundamentalist islamists react to accusations of being addicted to violence with a call for ‘executions’…well, yeah, it does kind of illustrate the point nicely.

    I was watching the news hour last night and they tried to have a cross-faith commentary between catholic and muslim scholars, and it went nowhere. It was polite, but abstruse and limited to niggling historical details. The main point unaddressed was the fact that there are no major leaders of different strains of islam who will come out and actually reject the actions being taken in the name of Islam. I thought it was shameful the scholar would not even own up to this point, but rather defensively resort to the texts and point out that Islam is technically all about peace, etc.

    And he’s right – it’s just that theres a difference between the words on the page and the actions of the zealots…

    JG

  9. Try to imagine a world in which hysterical Christians hit the streets and riot after someone makes fun of Jesus. Absurdism has become reality. There’s almost nothing left to satirize.

  10. “Try to imagine a world in which hysterical Christians hit the streets and riot after someone makes fun of Jesus.”

    The kids who made fun of me in grade school better watch out for my hysterical worshippers.

    Aresen the Divine

  11. “Aresen.”

    That’s pretty gay for a deity.
    (ducks)

  12. It’s hard to blame the wife for getting benefits, given that the scumbag abandoned her and their 3 kids, according to the article.

  13. IIRC, Osama was once a party animal himself, living it up in 1970s Beirut. And the “wayward youth” storyline also seems to be routine among Baby Boomer born-agains in the U.S. Pretty basic Freudian id-superego stuff.

  14. Ed

    I regret to advise you that your next incarnation will be as a server squirrel.

  15. I regret to advise you that your next incarnation will be as a server squirrel.

    Good God Almighty, what are the current server squirrels going to be reincarnated as?

  16. Tim, Strongbow cider is actually quite good, though it’s somewhat difficult to find stateside. And this is coming from a beer snob.

  17. Mustafa Shaq, truer words have never been spoken. Strongbow is great, and extremely rare. I’ve been looking for it for a long time.

    Signed,
    Also a Beer Snob

  18. All of us have to remember that Muslims will always be Muslim first just like Christians are Christians first. But they are violent and hateful at this point in time. When is the west going to wake up? The liberals are so educated that very often they forget that the world is a dangerouse place and always will be. The race war is coming in Europe or the Europeans will cease to exist.

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