"Satanists battle Christians in northeastern state"

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No, we're not talking about a coven of Woody Allen-led Democrats taking on conservatives in New York. Or a press release from the most Rev. Jerry Falwell yapping about the causes of the 9/11 attacks.

That's the headline from a story in today's Washington Times. It's a tale from the Christian-majority state Mizoram in India, where a volatile mix of joblessness, overeducation, and Neve Campbell is resulting in anti-Christian vandalism:

Mizoram church leaders blame high unemployment and "bad Western influences" for the growth of the groups.

"When, three years ago, a girl-only [satanic group] was caught by village elders while performing some bizarre rituals, the girls, who were all high-school dropouts, admitted that [they had been] influenced by the Hollywood movie 'The Craft,'" said a church leader in the Aizawl district.

"Lots of graduates and postgraduates are jobless in this state, and so, many younger students are getting disenchanted with their studies. Many such young [Christian] people are turning away from the church, taking drugs and sometimes following this Satan's path out of despair."

More here. Note to would-be satanists: Satan always loses; he's the Chicago Cubs of deities and you're just cruising for a bruising if you join his team (though some speculate being condemned to hell only feels like an eternity.)

Just wait til Pope Ratzi makes a speech about these urinating church soakers.

NEXT: Last Stand for the Taco Man

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  1. Some people will just gravitate toward the misfit club even if the head misfit is fictional, lol.

    Others of us finally figured out we could give the finger of defiance to the clique system altogether. Or to be a little less opaque, if you at some point find that the supernatural is the wrong answer, then Satan is just one more god to not believe in.

  2. The satanist scare of the 1960s was largely fictional, and now the fiction it inspired is itself inspiring wanna-be Satanists?

  3. The thought of a Scandanavian death metal fad breaking out in India sounds like the plot of a particularly good episode of Metalocalypse

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