"Satanists battle Christians in northeastern state"

No, we're not talking about a coven of Woody Allen-led Democrats taking on conservatives in New York. Or a press release from the most Rev. Jerry Falwell yapping about the causes of the 9/11 attacks.

That's the headline from a story in today's Washington Times. It's a tale from the Christian-majority state Mizoram in India, where a volatile mix of joblessness, overeducation, and Neve Campbell is resulting in anti-Christian vandalism:

Mizoram church leaders blame high unemployment and "bad Western influences" for the growth of the groups.

"When, three years ago, a girl-only [satanic group] was caught by village elders while performing some bizarre rituals, the girls, who were all high-school dropouts, admitted that [they had been] influenced by the Hollywood movie 'The Craft,'" said a church leader in the Aizawl district.

"Lots of graduates and postgraduates are jobless in this state, and so, many younger students are getting disenchanted with their studies. Many such young [Christian] people are turning away from the church, taking drugs and sometimes following this Satan's path out of despair."

More here. Note to would-be satanists: Satan always loses; he's the Chicago Cubs of deities and you're just cruising for a bruising if you join his team (though some speculate being condemned to hell only feels like an eternity.)

Just wait til Pope Ratzi makes a speech about these urinating church soakers.