Iraq's Answer to Lance Ito

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From the trial of Saddam Hussein:

Questioning a Kurdish witness Thursday, Saddam said, "I wonder why this man wanted to meet with me, if I am a dictator?"

The judge interrupted: "You were not a dictator. People around you made you (look like) a dictator."

"Thank you," Saddam responded, bowing his head in respect.

The laffs keep coming:

Saddam lashed out Tuesday against what he called "agents of Iran and Zionism" and vowed to "crush your heads" after listening to Kurdish witnesses tell of the horrors allegedly committed by his fallen regime.

More here.

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  1. I guess he’s seen “Kids in the Hall” too many times.

  2. If you think that’s amusing, you should see the Pigmeat Markham imitation Judge Abdullah al-Amiri does when the court comes back from recess. (Un-Islamic? Maybe. But way funnier than anything you’d see on that Iraqi sketch comedy show, The Kids In The Halal.)

  3. That “crush your heads” quote gave me a DLI (Defense Language Institute) flashback. We had an Arabic instructor named Mr. Hazimeh (spelling is approximate). I can’t remember exactly where he was from – maybe Syria. Anyway, he was haranguing us one day for failing to distinguish between two apparently identical words, and he said, “You will learn this or I will crush your heads!”

    I thought it was just a personal oddity on the part of Mr. Hazimeh, but now I wonder if it’s just the Middle Eastern equivalent of “I am so going to kick your ass!”

  4. I think Saddam used “crush your heads” because it rolls off the tongue much better than “tie you down, beat the soles of your feet with a baseball bat, stick an electric prod up your ass and rape your wife and children.”

    Just a guess.

  5. Borat invokes a related trope when he anticipates his response to a prospectively unfaithful prospective spouse:

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=9d-qsnMPC0g

  6. I thought it was just a personal oddity on the part of Mr. Hazimeh, but now I wonder if it’s just the Middle Eastern equivalent of “I am so going to kick your ass!”

    Jake, you are exactly right. Some arabs use that expression when playing a game (e.g., soccer or cards) as to mean “I’m/We’re going to kick your ass.”

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