It's Miller Time for Illegal Immigrants. Or for Their Opponents. The Important Thing Is That Miller Lite Tastes Great. Or Is Less Filling.

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The wounds from the momentous "Tastes Great/Less Filling" Miller Lite debate–pitting brother against brother, or at least Bubba Smith vs. Bob Uecker–have barely healed. Yet Miller Brewing is already in a heap of new trouble.

According to this anti-illegal immigrant site, Miller provided $30,000 to underwrite pro-immigration marches. The site's backers are calling for beer drinkers everywhere to stop drinking Miller, something which market forces are already doing to most piss-water brands. Back of the line, Minutemen.

Irony alert: The Chicago Tribune reports on the reason why Miller coughed up the $$$ for the pro-immigration marches. "Miller faced another boycott earlier this year from immigration-reform groups, the opposing side of the debate."

Less taste, more filling. More immigrants, more six packs. Whatever.

This just in: A National Bureau of Economic Research Working Paper finds that immigration has a "positive average effect" on wages of native-born workers. Check the abstract out here. Full disclosure: The study is done by a guy named Giovanni and a guy named Gianmarco.

Let's clear this Corona-urine rumor once and for all: Rest easy, Mexican beer lovers, Corona is apparently urine-free.

Bonus question for philosophy majors: Should the Miller boycott extend to retro-fave Pabst Blue Ribbon, which is being brewed by Miller on a contract basis?

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  1. You’ll have to pry PBR from my cold, dead hand.

  2. Should the Miller boycott extend to retro-fave Pabst Blue Ribbon which is being brewed by Miller on a contract basis?

    No – it’s not pabst’s fault that miller provided the best bid for their business. contract brewing is pretty rife, and many brands that are otherwise unaffiliated are being brewed up regionally in each others factories. Basically, the big brewers have tons of extra capacity, and there are lots of small regional brands that have none… so they rent.

    FYI – the Datamonitor beer study referenced in the Beveragedaily.com link there… that’s my stuff. Im a CPG analyst, i do most of the US beverage work. that is… when i’m not @#($@ around on H&R….

    JG

    p.s. Pabst is actually really good drinkin beer. Crisp.

  3. My first beer was a Miller, about 10 years ago…and I’ve still got the aftertaste from it.

  4. Damn, I hate Pabst. Last time I drank it, it was awful.

    I do like MGD and Hi-Life, the champagne of beers. For cheap bear, that is.

  5. I cheer anything bad that happens to Miller Brewing after it killed our own Austin brand, Celis, in the middle 1990’s. After the brand became successful statewide, Celis signed a regional distribution agreement with Miller. This lasted, I recall, two or three years, then Miller decided that microbrews weren’t hip anymore and killed the brand. This is God’s just punishment on the company.

  6. it’s in the water, son. that’s why it’s yellow.

  7. He said “results indicate that pricing is not the answer”, and that the industry’s long-term health depended on the major brewers devising good marketing behind their big brands.

    Maybe the answer is a product that doesn’t taste like it’s been passed through the digestive tract of a large barnyard animal. Really, this reminds me of our two major parties, both of whom seem to think that it’s failure to market the platform, rather than the abhorrence of the platform itself, that results in the antipathy of the constituency.

  8. Tangental, but off-topic post:

    Forgive me for being late here, but this whole immigration thing… is it possible that this is one of those rare times that the consituencies want something done, ie government interference when the elected officials don’t?

    I’ve been accused of ‘catching on late’ and I’m sure that this has been debated on H&R when I was not reading or on vacation or something, but it seems that this is one issue where our elected officials are dragging their feet because they just don’t think there’s a problem, but large segments of SouthWestern constituents are demanding action.

  9. Headline on AP wire story (Billings Gazette, 9/3/06):
    “Immigrants’ Effect on Economy Varies”

    Ta- Daaah!

    ——–

    “My first beer was a Miller, about 10 years ago…and I’ve still got the aftertaste from it.”

    I’m surprised you don’t still have the headache, too. Miller is poisonous- it ought to have a skull and crossbones on the front.

  10. Ladies’ beers – all of them. The “beer” that Buttwiper and Swiller make is a frighteningly light pilsner (for frik’s sake, Buttwiper’s a rice beer) that was brewed for the ladies when most men were overseas in the 1940’s.

    How they tolerated this water after being in EWurope with ales, bitters, decent lagers, weiss, etc. I have no idea. Like most thing corporate, it descends into mediocrity.

    -Lizard

  11. The fact that Miller backed the protestors is no surprise. Around these parts Miller Light is referred to as Mexican Gatorade. Very popular brand with the day labor set. Matched only by The Silver Bullet.

    Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Mexican drink a Mexican beer. The domestic lights seem to be their brew of choice.

  12. Note to beer snobs.

    I like a craft brew when enjoying a couple after work or with a meal, but there is nothing wrong with a macrobrew when the occasion demands it. Quantity consumption for a sustained buzz is key for sporting events, barbecues, weekend auto repair/yard work or fishing benders. American macrobrews provide the proper balance of hydration and inebriation required for those undertakings. It’s less about flavor than functionality.

  13. My father-in-law told me over the weekend that he refuses to buy Miller products because of the immigration donation. I knew he was a conservative, but I thought he was a good, fiscal conservative because he understood economics. I mentioned that the reputable studies I read supported more immigration as the marketplace calls for it, as it is a net gain on our economy. He called those studies “bullshit” studies with an agenda. Incredulously, I stammered, “But the Cato Institute, you like the Cato Institute, don’t you?” I promised to find him some studies to read, but my wife later told me to drop it.
    Maybe I should just start bringing a case to his house when we go for dinner.

  14. I see a few bottles of champagne are in store for tonight….

  15. I like a craft brew when enjoying a couple after work or with a meal, but there is nothing wrong with a macrobrew when the occasion demands it. Quantity consumption for a sustained buzz is key for sporting events, barbecues, weekend auto repair/yard work or fishing benders. American macrobrews provide the proper balance of hydration and inebriation required for those undertakings. It’s less about flavor than functionality.

    I would rather pass around a cheap communal bottle of vodka or rum, hobo style, than to drink cheap beer if all I was interested in was a buzz.

  16. I would rather pass around a cheap communal bottle of vodka or rum, hobo style, than to drink cheap beer if all I was interested in was a buzz.

    Great plan if you want to simply catch a quick buzz, but I’m talking about a sustainable, Friday to Sunday, breakfast to blackout buzz. In scenarios such as these price per gallon outweighs quality as the prime consideration.

  17. Rex, ralphus – no, if you want a quick, cheap buzz, you’ve got to try this. (Also, the rest of the site is quite a hoot.)

    ralphus – I’m with you, buddy. And since I sometimes decide to drink from Friday to Sunday, breakfast to blackout, some MGD or Hi-Life does a brotha right.

  18. Red Dog is my cheap beer of choice. You’ve gotta look at the per-ounce price to find what is really the cheapest swill goin on, power to the people.

  19. Mickey’s Wide Mouths taste no nastier than your typical cheap beer, and have a higher alcohol content.

    And hey, Wide Mouths.

  20. Yesterday I heard some moron talk show host (pardon the redundancy) interviewing the barinstem who started the boycott-Miller campaign. Tomorrow (payday) I’m headin’ to the package store to pick up a case of the stuff, then spend the weekend hoisting a few for the hungry huddled masses. Cheers…

  21. As a Milwaukeean, I will defend Miller as superior to that acorn-piss they make down St. Louie way, but, given my druthers, and if my budget allows, I’ll order a Sprecher or Lakefront. I did drink a couple of cans of Pabst while watching a ballgame at a local tavern on Wednesday. Hey, they were a buck a piece, and complimented the grilled bacon cheeseburgers I went there for perfectly.

    Some of the Leinenkugel’s brews are good. Watch for the national rollout of their Sunset Wheat.

    Kevin

  22. Miller was essentially mau-maued into making that donation when the Latino groups found out a Miller-connected PAC donated to Jim Sensenbrenner. This was old news back in March.

    If you really want to get plowed, support Miller, and avoid malt liquor, buy Icehouse. (5.50% ABV)

    Kevin

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