If you absolutely have to get kidnapped, you might want to consider doing it with the Holy Jihad Brigades, who freed Fox News correspondents Steve Centanni and Olaf Wiig after one or both of them claimed to have converted to Islam in a videotape. The two were dropped off today at Gaza City's Beach Hotel, ending two weeks of captivity. Wiig appeared testy upon his release and Centanni said they'd been tied up at various points, but neither man was injured in the ordeal.
"We were forced to convert to Islam at gunpoint," Centanni later told Fox. "Don't get me wrong here. I have the highest respect for Islam, and I learned a lot of good things about it, but it was something we felt we had to do because they had the guns, and we didn't know what the hell was going on."
So drink a stiff Rob Roy and dig into a roast pork in honor of this conversion.