Terrorists For Pelosi

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Here's your quote of the day:

[Senator Orrin Hatch] stressed that the Middle East is the haven for terrorism and if the United States leaves too soon the terrorists will follow them back to the United States and we have World War III. "They're waiting for the Democrats here to take control, let things cool off and then strike again."

Give Hatch the benefit of the doubt—he's a musician, after all—and assume he means "Democrats will weaken our vital civil liberty-gutting laws and make terrorists blow everybody up." OK. So, did I dream that thwarted terrorist attack last week? Did the Democrats lead a midnight coup when I wasn't looking, Nancy Pelosi executing Republican whips and sending the bullets to their families, John Conyers scurrying up the Capitol dome to hoist a white flag?

NEXT: Smither, Eh? Ex-cellent!

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  1. “let things cool off, then strike again.”

    If so, then why aren’t the insurgents in Iraq laying low so the U.S. troops can go home, and then striking the new Iraqi gov’t when U.S. troops aren’t around to intervene?

  2. Do these fucking people honestly believe that terrorist cells base their decisions on partisan politics?

    “No, my brothers, we must wait until Novemeber 8th to set our plan in motion. That way we’ll know if the softer candidates have been elected and we can strike without reprisal. Death to the West!”

    After all, we know that terrorist have been very discriminating in their attacks before.

  3. I’ve never been so swell with history but didn’t the last big domestic terroist attack occur with a Republican president in office?

  4. Well, if what Senator Hatch insinuates is correct, then why did the terrorists wait until a Republican was elected President and in office for eight months before destroying the Twin Towers? Couldn’t they have accomplished this before Inauguration Day 2001?

    It seems to me that the terrorists chose to wait until a war-friendlier neocon was in power, since they would be most easily drawn into the apocalyptic showdown al Qaeda desparately sought.

  5. “Couldn’t they have accomplished this before Inauguration Day 2001?”

    I can’t find it now, but there was apparently discussion between Khalid Sheikh Muhammad and Osama bin Laden over whether to move up the WTC attacks to 2000 to make them a counterpoint to Israeli actions in the occupied territories. I can’t recall why they didn’t though.

  6. After having followed Orrin Hatch’s political career, off an on, for the past 15 years, I have to conclude that he is simply stupid.

  7. “It seems to me that the terrorists chose to wait until a war-friendlier neocon was in power, since they would be most easily drawn into the apocalyptic showdown al Qaeda desparately sought.”

    And the PNAC’s plans were pretty well telegraphed – and our getting rid of Saddam and destroying order in Iraq is like bin Laden rolling 12’s in his game of Caliphate Monopoly.

  8. “They’re waiting for the Democrats here to take control, let things cool off and then strike again.”

    See, he’s kinda right.

    The thing is, the “let things cool off” part lasts through an entire Democratic administration. The competent Dem governance, low deficits, booming economy, peace, and all that good stuff lull Americans into complacency.

    But when the GOP elects another bunch of aggressive inbred feebs, the terrorists will strike, because they know a GOP administration can be played like a pianosaurus.

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