Porn Free

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Now that the Marriott hotel chain has gone smoke-free, says a press release from Concerned Women for America, it should go porn-free as well. Don't see the connection? That's because you're not thinking hard enough.

"We've been after Marriott for years to stop providing pay-per-view porn," says CWA Chief Counsel Jan LaRue. "But their excuse is that some customers want it. What's that percentage? If it's only about 5 percent [the percentage of guests who request smoking rooms], they've lost that excuse. I'm guessing that their cut from porn is a lot bigger than their cut from cigarette machines in the lobby." Since the percentage of customers who watch dirty movies might be the same as the percentage who smoke in their rooms, says CWA, logic dictates that Marriott should stop catering to both groups, even if one is a much bigger source of revenue.

Not convinced? LaRue notes that Marriott cited Surgeon General Richard Carmona's recent report on secondhand smoke in explaining its decision. Well, back in the 1980s, Surgeon General C. Everett Koop (who also had a report on secondhand smoke) issued a "report on the dangerous consequences of viewing pornography." QED.

If LaRue had the courage of her convictions, she'd have clinched the argument by talking about the extra cleaning costs associated with both smokers and porn watchers.

I stood up for horny traveling businessmen in a 2002 column.

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  1. I recall reading a few years ago that that a shocking percent of operating revenue of nearly all hotels, regardless of swankiness, is based in, er, adult movies.

  2. By any chance could Jan LaRue be related to Renee LaRue?

    http://imdb.com/name/nm0489345/

  3. Forget about the clean-up costs. What about the disproportionate amount of lotion packages needed in those rooms – to say nothing of added cost of tissue.

    If its possible to be serious after that – who cares? They are a private company.

  4. If they turn off the Spanktravision, they’ll also have to turn off the Internet feeds, if they want to keep porn out of hotel rooms.

    Some people really work hard to look stupid; others make it look easy.

  5. Jason-

    It’s always interesting to see where businesses make their money. My brother has a second job in a movie theater, and he tells me that from a financial perspective, a movie theater is basically a fast food restaurant with better seats and entertainment.

    So, if a hotel is basically a movie theater with beds, it then follows that a hotel is a fast food restaurant, in accordance with the transitive property. 🙂

  6. And if they’re going to get rid of the porn, they better keep the women out, too. In fact, any gathering of more than two women in a building should result in that building be reclassified as a brothel. With resulting SWAT action.

  7. What a bullshit crusade. Let ’em ban porn in hotels. In the age of cheap laptops with DVD players, who wants to pay $13 for hotel porno (and run the risk of getting poorly edited soft-core crap)?

  8. human beings know what they like and they like food and entertainment.

  9. What about those of us who are “Porn-Again” and need to watch pay-per-screw to perform our rituals?

  10. Maybe I’m way off, but I think it is a legit business decision.

    “Folks, stay here and you don’t have to worry about your kids running up the porn bill while you are asleep. Also, that other hotel is for masturbating perverts that view porn for hours on end, then view your daughter.”

    Hey, whatever works. As long as the gov’t is making them do it, I could care less.

  11. I have yet to be harmed by second hand porn, whereas I have sneezed myself blind in a hotel room previously occupied by a chain smoker.

  12. This is dumb. Once a smoking-room, always a smoking-room. However, the porn (and all movies) can be turned off on request.

  13. In fact, any gathering of more than two women in a building should result in that building be reclassified as a brothel. With resulting SWAT action.

    Mmmmm yeah ProL, I’d pay for a little “SWAT” action…

  14. How do you watch pron without a cigarette?

  15. Actually, I am surprised that American hotels still try to sell porn the way that they do, rather than opting for the model I observed in Japan, which is much more (ahem) alluring. What is the difference? In the US, whatever pay-per-view you watch is billed to your room. When you check out, the person behind the counter is going to realize what that $14.95 charge is. This embarassment factor probably stops many from purchasing.

    In Japan, PPV is purchased by buying little credit cards in the vending machine area. No one is looking, and both porn and premium channels come from the same card.

    I am sure the anonomity quadruples their sales.

  16. Give me porn or give me death!

    I have yet to be harmed by second hand porn, whereas I have sneezed myself blind in a hotel room previously occupied by a chain smoker.

    This is a good reason to maintain smoking/non-smoking rooms. If a smoker is offered a “smoking room” they will usually take it. If there is no choice then every room is potentially a “smoking room”. Of course, we could just make cigarettes illegal since it has worked for other drugs.

  17. OK, it’s socially destructive to watch porn in a hotel, but it’s still OK to have actual sex under the same roof?

    By any chance could Jan LaRue be related to Renee LaRue?

    Not sure, but CWA was founded by Beverly LaHaye. Her husband is Tim LaHaye, co-author of the Christian equivelent to a snuff film, the Left Behind series.

  18. I must admit that I have in the past partaken of these “Adult Entertainment Options”. Although my guess would be that the majority of users were people like myself, men on business trips who would then expense the movie.

    After all, if you are in Cleveland on a random Wednesday night, need to be asleep in half an hour to get up for an early meeting, what other form of entertainment makes sense?

    As for the checkout people realizing what you were doing, most places I stayed at had a single price for movies adult or otherwise, and they wouldn’t include the name of the movie on the bill. So all they knew was that you got a movie not what you were watching.

  19. I have yet to be harmed by second hand porn, whereas I have sneezed myself blind in a hotel room previously occupied by a chain smoker.

    Bring a blacklight with you the next time you stay in a hotel. Bodily fluids will glow.

  20. Wow. I’m impressed, lannychiu. That is very brave of you to admit your sexual perversions like that. I hope you continue to seek the help that you need, to pull through and rid yourself of this dependence, for you and your family. I’m sure your wife is devastated. Tell her to stay strong. We are pulling for you and will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Remember….you can fight, and win, your obvious obsessive, compulsive, addiction to pornography. Hang in there.

  21. you can fight, and win, your obvious obsessive, compulsive, addiction to pornography.

    But, why would you want to?

  22. One hotel I was at had a brilliant solution. You paided one fee, you got a regular movie and a porn movie. You could watch whichever one you wanted, or both. The bill just showed the regular movie.

  23. They want to stop pornography?
    Does this mean they’re going to block The Military Channel?

  24. I went to church with her while I grew up in Huntington Beach, CA in the late 80’s/early 90’s. She was a high school dropout who was into the party lifestyle and had an abortion. A 180′ turn + a JD later, she was scaring the bejeezus out of kids like me with her personal testimonial. I didn’t learn to not like recreational substances or fornication from her; I learned to be leery of women. Google for pictures if you want to see why.

    Bonus: She was on a round-table discussion with Ali G and certainly didn’t get the joke. Very smart, but single-minded to the point of tunnel vision. Not too much fun at a dinner party.

  25. SetUp writes: “We are pulling for you…”

    I bet you are.

  26. Wow, this Jan LaRue is farking nuts!

  27. Screew this, cum on now this really blows. We need to lick this problem.

  28. MOVIE TITLES
    Give me porn or give me death
    Porn free
    Porn to be alive
    To the manner porn
    Harry Porn & the goblet of lotion
    War & porn
    Rich man pornman
    Seven wives for seven pornos
    …Gads, must get a grip…

  29. In the age of cheap laptops with DVD players, who wants to pay $13 for hotel porno (and run the risk of getting poorly edited soft-core crap)?

    I’ve got 13 bucks to spare!

  30. Vote for big booty porn !

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