English-only cheesesteak war settled

The controversy over English-only ordering rules at Geno's cheesesteak joint in Philadelphia has claimed its first casualty. Harry Olivieri, who co-founded local rival Pat's King of Steaks in 1933, has died. Doctors conclude that a lifetime of consuming artery-clogging lard, combined with the shock of hearing Spanish spoken by fleeing Geno's customers, brought the cheesesteak inventor down at the youthful age of 90.

With this competitive loss, it's now even more imperative that the City of Brotherly Love's Commission on Human Relations force Geno's to remove its English-only sign, before any more Philadelphians—or just their feelings—get hurt. Meanwhile, do yourself a favor and skip Philly entirely in favor of Dino's Subs in Margate—for shore.