Beyond "Boxers or Briefs?"

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Russian President Vladimir Putin answers your questions about sex, Cthulhu, and gigantic humanoid war robots.

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  1. Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!

  2. There’s a Charles Stross story about the soviets keeping a menagerie of Ancient Ones as secret weapons in Siberia. And we all know they had giant robots, not to mention The Crimson Dynamo.

  3. We cannot allow a gigantic war robot gap!

  4. Err…what?!?!

    Is that a serious web site? I’m so confused.

    Next thing you know, President Bush will be uttering profanities on TV!

  5. I can’t imagine Vladmir Putin having sex.

    On the other hand, I can imagine him in a robe with a sacrificial knife chanting barbarous names while standing on a cliff over Arkhangelsk.

    Maybe I’m just weird.

  6. Cthulu saves!

    (He might get hungry later.)

  7. President Vladimir Putin does not remember the first time he had sex.

    What, was he too drunk to save the receipt?

    “When did you start to have sex?” Kommersant reporter Andrei Kolesnikov then asked, verbalizing a question that was on the minds of 5,640 Internet users.

    “I don?t remember when I started. But I can remember the last time,” Putin said.

    Actually, that’s more than I can say.

  8. His name is freakin’ Put-In for chrissakes. The man is a living phallic symbol.

  9. When did the Onion editors take over?

  10. i thought the cthulu were a group of squid headed guys from outer space…not a creature laying dormant at the bottom of the ocean.

    I should really go back and look at my advanced D&D dieties and demigods hand book…which begs the question if it is at the bottom of the pacific then it should not be at the bottom of greyhawks ocean.

    I have said to much.

  11. Read H&R all the time – never posted here before. So, my first post on H&R is about… AD&D. The Cthulu “species *was* a “group of squid headed guys from outer space” who crashed into the ocean, where somehow they became trapped by some, uh, mystical curse. But when the curse is broken, Cthulu and his minions shall rise to conquer and destroy. Where’s my Lovecraft books when I need ’em? My Deities & Demigods tome is collecting dust in a box at the parents’ house. You could always ignore the Pacific Ocean and transpose the Cthulu into a Greyhawk ocean, thus allowing your clerics and paladins to battle them in the Gygax AD&D milieu. +5 plate armor, healing potions, and a vorpal might help, but unlikely. Battling Cthulu is worse than going against Tiamat or Asmodeus.

    Jeezus I’m a geek.

  12. “I don?t remember when I started. But I can remember the last time,” Putin said.

    Was it with the kid whose stomache Putin kissed?

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