What Would "Miranda Priestly" Think Of Biotech Fashions?

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A fashion show yesterday in Toronto at the World Congress on Industrial Biotechnology and Bioprocessing featured couture by fashion designers Halston, Oscar de la Renta, Stephen Burrows, Heatherette, and Elisa Jimenez, according to a press release by the Biotechnology Industry Organization. All the clothes were made using fabrics spun from polylactide (PLA), a compostable biopolymer derived from dextrose corn sugar. Are such fabrics natural or synthetic? Would high fashionista Miranda Priestly promote such garments in Runway?

Disclosure: I own no stocks in biotech fabric companies nor do I own any clothing that could be called "fashionable".

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  1. Don’t be so modest, Ron! Your compostable polyester pantsuits are stunning. By the way, I’m still going to cut your finger off and stomp on it.

  2. Given that the distinction between natural and synthetis is completely specious, the designation for this material will be whatever the high priests of environmentalism decide it is. Perhaps a little donation to a worthy cause or two would help convince them that it is worthy to be called green.

  3. Will corn farmers be wearing designer clothing soon? Will cotton farmers be sabotaging corn fields? Will ADM become a fashion company? If you spill diet coke on this, will it fizz?

  4. Will corn farmers be wearing designer clothing soon?

    [insert HFCS fashion joke here]

  5. So will clothes spun from corn sugar make me look fatter than clothes spun from beet sugar?

    There’s you HFCS joke D.A.

  6. From the site : The development and manufacturing of PLA polymer relies on basic fermentation and distillation

    I’m pretty sure this will make the fabric a controlled substance. Just don’t wear the shirt and pants at the same time, or you’ll be guilty of traffiking – and bad taste…since everyone knows fructose is where the flava is, not dextrose.

  7. These clothes may or may not be fashionable, but they are sure to be delicious.

  8. Mmmmmmmmmm, edible panties….. Arghhhhhh…..

  9. Will these fabrics be able to “breathe?” I have yet to find an artificial fabric that doesn’t basically feel like I’m wearing clothes made of Ziploc baggies.

  10. “I’m pretty sure this will make the fabric a controlled substance. Just don’t wear the shirt and pants at the same time, or you’ll be guilty of traffiking – and bad taste…since everyone knows fructose is where the flava is, not dextrose.”

    Nah. They’ll just spike it with wood alcohol, so that way it’ll kill you instead of intoxicating you, thereby allowing them to circumvent the need to be regulated by the BATFE.

  11. How do they perform at wicking away perspiration and “breathing”

    If it breathes and allows you to cool by evaporation it is natural.

    If it traps perspiration and lets you stew in it, it is sythetic and to be avoided like the plague, at least in summer months.

  12. Activists are concerned that garments made from GM corn will be resistant to herbicides and insect pests. Due to these and other concerns, Cargill has reached an agreement with a coalition of activists to ensure that the fabric will not be made from GM corn. This will give consumers the assurance that the garments they wear will be made from corn produced the old-fashioned way, i.e., sprayed with insecticides and herbicides.

    Don’t believe me? Cargill actually made this deal with activists. Check it out!

    Eric.

    P.S. Insect-resistant garments should actually be quite appealing to activists. Because activists live in “squats” during protests against the G-8, WTO, etc., event organizers often recommend that participants bring along special shampoo to combat body lice infestations. This is also true!

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