Let's Drink, Drink, This Blog Is So Great

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Commenter "Apostate Jew" offered up the rules for a Hit and Run drinking game a few days back; I figure it's only fair to let everyone play. Additional rule suggestions welcome in the comments. Here it is:

Hit and Run Drinking Game, TM

This games can be played alone, in a virtual group (players sit at they computers and communicate by telephone, texting, IM, etc. or—only for experts—by posting on the blog) or in a live group at a private house or in a public house (bar).

Drinks are hereafter defined as 6 ounces of beer, a 1.5 ounce shot, a glass of wine*, or anything the self-described libertarian thinks it should be (it's still a semi-free fucking country, goddamit).

Rules

1. All Drink

a. Whenever Godwin is invoked.
b. Whenever Hayek is invoked.
c. Whenever "marius" uses a capital letter.

2. Women Drink

a. Whenever someone wonders, "Why aren't more women libertarian?"
b. Whenever a female poster comments on bras, pregnancy, body image or other women's issues.

3. Men Drink

a. Whenever a man explains, "There aren't more women libertarians because …"
b. Whenever a poster comments on his homosexuality.

4. Religious Believers Drink

a. Whenever their own religious beliefs are attacked.
b. Whenever they attack another sect's religious beliefs.

5. Employees of the State Drink

a. Whenever someone other than themselves defend an act of the state.

6. Atheists Drink

a. Whenever religious beliefs are characterized as "stupid", "irrational", "scary", etc.
b. Whenever an uncalled for attack on Mormons is made.

7. Pedants Drink

a. Whenever the spelling or grammatical mistakes of others are mocked.

7. "Real" Libertarians Drink

a. Whenever they feel like it.

8. Adding Rules

a. Only anarcho-capitalists can "officially" add rules. All others can add rules either by personal fiat or by mutual agreements not involving fraud or coercion.
b. Rule disputes are to be resolved by the diktat of the poster known as "Ruthless".

9. Winning

a. As the amount of inebriation must increase and cannot decrease below sober, everybody wins (it's not a zero-sum game).

10. Safety Considerations

a. It is strongly recommended that players not handle loaded guns, drive, swim, boat, fly or supervise children while playing the game.

*The poster known as "The Wine Commonsewer" can advise you on the proper wine.

NEXT: Speedometers Are People Too

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  1. OK, I’ll bite. How is it possible to make an “uncalled for attack on Mormons”?

  2. They Might Be Giants fans drink whenever they catch a TMBG reference.

  3. Drink Vanneman!

    As the amount of inebriation must increase and cannot decrease below sober, everybody wins (it’s not a zero-sum game).

    Classic.

  4. I just got back from the fridge and am invoking rule #7. That’s the second rule #7 BTW.

  5. That’s odd. I thought I clicked to the reason.com homepage but ended up here at sophomoricreason.com. Go figure!?

  6. X = Some unseemly activity people engage in that does not involve violating the rights of another.

    Take a drink anytime someone comes out against doing X but then quickly states that just because they are against X that doesn’t mean they support state-based intervention with regard to X.

  7. I’d love to play, but being Mormon I don’t drink.

  8. Drink every time someone tries to show off their pop culture chops with a comment that says “cool reference”

  9. Careful, Willy…
    Dean Wormer will put you on Double Secret Probation.

  10. Take a drink when somebody takes mediageek to task for presuming to know better than the willing participants whether activity X is, in fact, unseemly and generally bad.

  11. thoreau: but what words rhyme with “buried alive”?

  12. goddamn tags. That comment should say “cool (pop culture thingy) reference”

    Now I need a drink

  13. goddamn tags. That comment should say “cool (pop culture thingy) reference”

    Now I need a drink

  14. Everyone takes a drink when a comment thread devolves into an inventory of the shortcomings and quirks of other posters, wherein the utter contempt is partially masked by a snarky, sarcastic, “it’s jus’a joke” tone.

  15. I have a great one, but it might be better suited for the Hit and Run Drinking Game X-treme Version:

    Individuals take a drink every time the squirrels refuse to post your submitted comment…

  16. Individuals take a drink every time the squirrels refuse to post your submitted comment…

    That won’t lead to alcohol poisoning. 🙂

  17. Drink anytime someone mentions a decoder ring, tinfoil hat or Cloak of Protection from Government +1.

  18. New Rule: Mormons should *pretend* to play and *pretend* to be drunk.

  19. Captain Holly:

    I’d love to play, but being Mormon I don’t drink.

    This is why sparkling grape juice was invented.

    Can you drink alcohol-free beers such as O’Dhoul’s

  20. 2. c. Whenever Jennifer or Smacky torments the straight guys with gratuitious descriptions of their breasts, etc.

  21. The HIT AND RUN DRINKING GAME!

    THAT’S NOT FUNNY!

  22. 10. Safety Considerations

    Will Massachusetts players be required by law to wear helmets?

  23. 2. c. Whenever Jennifer or Smacky torments the straight guys with gratuitious descriptions of their breasts, etc.

    “If this is ‘torment’ then chain me to the wall!”

  24. I feel almost famous, albeit anonymously so.

    Oh, and I defend Mormon because as a former member of a smallish, generally inoffensive but often unpopular sect I have a pretty good idea of the crap they have to put up with.

  25. Drink anytime someone mentions a decoder ring, tinfoil hat or Cloak of Protection from Government +1.

  26. comic book collectors drink anytime superheroes are invoked to illustrate a political point

  27. Copied from my post over at the breakaway republic:

    Drink from a red bottle/can every time TNR invades.

    Drink from a blue bottle/can every time Kos invades.

  28. “Individuals take a drink every time the squirrels refuse to post your submitted comment…”

    An addendum:

    Take one drink for each post that the squirrels decide to display more than once.

  29. 1 drink everytime a lurker posts…

    Wait, does that automatically not make me a lurker? Damn!

  30. Will Massachusetts players be required by law to wear helmets?

    no, only Massachusetts voters.

  31. That’s odd. I thought I clicked to the reason.com homepage but ended up here at sophomoricreason.com. Go figure!?

    Drink whenever someone gets their panties in a wad over a light-hearted post.

  32. Suggested at the Breakaway Republic:
    Take a drink every time Tim Cavanaugh legitimately — or arbitrarily — bans someone from posting at HnR.

  33. When someone manages to get a raging abortion thread rolling: Bust the top off the bottle, drink the whole thing down, and wade into the fray. Yee-haw!!

  34. I defend Mormons because I’m obsessed with Orson Scott Card.

  35. Apostate….the Mormons don’ put up with as much as the Jehovah Witless. Prolly because they don’t spend quite as much time going door to door.

  36. Just got back from the Big City and Mrs TWC was regaling me with this post and the comments contained herein. Got to say that it’s just as funny as it was yesterday.

    I’m flattered to have been put in charge of wine. So, let’s break out the Boone’s Farm and Spodeeode. Okay, maybe we do something a little more upscale, say, one of these these. Link originally courtesy of Adrian Moore, VP at Reason

  37. College slackers who aren’t well-enough informed to post on the topic at hand:

    a) Drink every time you skip over a comment that has exceeded 1000 words
    b) Drink every time someone uses a word you’d have to look up to understand

    Also CleanHands, I would submit that an abortion argument should require imbibing a used tampon; that is, a bloody mary with a rolled-up napkin in it

  38. Hi, Bob!

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