Happy Birthday, America

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There will be very little blogging here today, but the comment threads remain open. For those of you who prefer surfing the Net to barbecue and fireworks, here's a few surefire conversation-starters:

1. Is there a God?
2. Abortion: Should it be legal?
3. So how's that Iraq War going?
4. Got any rock lyrics you feel like sharing?
5. When did Reason jump the shark?

Also welcome: movie reviews, inspirational poetry, stories about wrapping Roy Orbison in clingfilm, stories about wrapping Roy Lichtenstein in clingfilm, recipes, threadjacks, patriotic commentary, anarchist rants, and ruminations on the career of Ned Beatty. See you tomorrow.

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  1. It’s a good day to watch “A Bridge Too Far.”

    But the, when isn’t it a good day to watch “A Bridge Too Far?”

  2. 1: No, at least not a relevant one.
    2: Yes, but the fact that it still happens in emblematic of wholesale cultural ignorance.
    3: Shitty
    4: Oogah oogah oogah cha-cha.
    5: When Virginia left.

    Today is the thirtieth anniversary of me losing my virginity! Yay me!

  3. 1. Only in his own imagination.
    2. Legal? The shit should be mandatory.
    3. A lot better once some of the nutjobs fuck off to Palestine. Bleed ’em dry through constant travel.
    4. Unce, tice, tee times a tady.
    5. Round about the time the Libertarian party reached the peak of its power.

    “Live free or have another hotdog!”

  4. 1) Yes. And he’s got massive nuts.
    2) Yes. And it should be mandatory for ugly people.
    3) Pretty sweet.
    4) I’m on a Highway to Hell.
    5) Last wednesday. About 4pm.

  5. “They’ve got men making laws that desroy other men.” – Alan Toussaint

  6. 1. yes
    2. no
    3. what war?
    4. lawyers, guns, and money
    5. the day it first ran…

  7. 1. At most, one.
    2. Up until the commencement of organized neural activity.
    3. There’s a war?
    4. I’m with you, LEM, though it’s a shame that it had to be you.
    5. When you started allowing unedited comments from illiterates like me.

  8. Up until the commencement of organized neural activity.

    By that logic, my mum could still have me taken care of.

  9. 1. Is there a God?
    “This god. This one word. ‘I'”

    2. Abortion: Should it be legal?
    Up until the point where we can scientifically and politically agree that life has begun.

    3. So how’s that Iraq War going?
    Better that expected in some ways – worse in others

    4. Got any rock lyrics you feel like sharing?
    “I will choose free will.”

    5. When did Reason jump the shark?
    When you abandoned your own tag line of Free Minds and Free Markets for maintaining Libertarian orthodoxy.

  10. 1. Is there a God? no. or if there is, it is a god of evil and chaos that is out to fuck us up. think: 2nd law of thermodynamics.
    2. Abortion: Should it be legal? yes, but avoided when possible, and preferably not used as birth control
    3. So how’s that Iraq War going?shitty (ok, I copied that one from Jeff P.
    4. Got any rock lyrics you feel like sharing? all right, all you pus-sucking motherfuckers out there, it’s time to call in and win! a chance to butt-bang your daughter’s tight virgin cherry asshole, free now to caller six! six! six!
    5. When did Reason jump the shark? never!

  11. But what if the caller doesn’t have a daughter?

  12. re: “For those of you who prefer surfing the Net to barbecue and fireworks…”
    I call false dichotomy!

  13. 1. Is there a God?

    Our Feynman, who art in heaven…

    2. Abortion: Should it be legal?

    The problem is that Planned Parenthood is non-profit, so I can’t buy stock and profit from abortion. I could probably profit from an abortion ban. So, sure, ban it. Or just ban it in select states, so I can profit from the interstate trafficking of desperate pregnant women.

    3. So how’s that Iraq War going?

    Whatever might be happening there is obviously part of The Big Plan.

    4. Got any rock lyrics you feel like sharing?

    Not rock, but I encourage everybody to listen to 2 Eminem songs on this most patriotic of days: “White America”, his salute to the 1st amendment, and “We as Americans”, his salute to the 2nd amendment. (It’s also a salute to the 1st, in a way, with the line “They’re coming with bombs, I’m coming with flare guns, we as Americans”.)

    5. When did Reason jump the shark?

    REAL LIBERTARIANS know that it jumped the shark after the very first issue! You young whippersnappers need to go read that first issue! Everything since then has been sell-out crap!

    🙂

  14. 1 – Can’t say, until we can actually come up with a definition.

    2 – Pass.

    3 – Ask Kwais.

    4 – “Oh good heavens baby, where is my medicine? I must have left it outside with my etiquette…”

    5 – When it started writing about commenters.

  15. 1) There are so many as to make it meaningless.
    2) Yes, except in cases of rape and incest.
    3) It goes as war goes.
    4) if it keeps on rainin, levee’s goin to break.
    5) With the soft core porn of carpet humper and pillow girl.

  16. 1. There might be a god (meaning Yahweh-like creator), but highly unlikely. There is, however, a goddess, and her name is and always shall be Raquel Welch.

    2. Abortion should be legal up to a point — quickening maybe?

    3. Iraq War — who knows? At this point, could it ever become a net gain?

    4. “At night we ride through mansions of glory in suicide machines”

    5. Reason jumped the shark “When it started writing about commenters.” Thanks agentalbert — that’s priceless. As my high-school journalism teacher used to yell, “Keep the paper out of the paper!”

  17. scape: apparently, you think abortion should be legal except in cases of rape and incest. therefore, if a pregnancy is the result of rape and/or incest, it should be illegal to abort it? perhaps you should read question 2 again

  18. No, no, shitty, anything that’s anti-patriotic, and never even got on the water skis.

  19. perhaps you should read question 2 again

    Biologist,

    Are you a school teacher?

  20. Poetry upon request:

    Years gone by ? things are so
    Wonder why ? years to go
    Words are waste ? had my fill
    No great haste ? time to kill

    Dreary days ? neon lights
    Madman weighs ? daring nights
    Woman comes ? hearts expose
    Lover plumbs ? woman goes

    Train tracks trail ? colors blend
    Winds will wail ? highways bend
    Freedom streaks ? guardrails give
    Power leaks ? like a sieve

  21. Hey, that’s not bad, Kevin. Not bad at all.

    Happy Fourth.

  22. 1. Absolutely.
    2. Yes. Illegal was horrific, remember?
    3. Shitty.
    4. “I was wrong…this changes everything.”
    5. Shame on you.

  23. 1. If there is an all-knowing, all-powerful being, it is not me.
    2. You mean if someone’s pregnant, right? I mean we should be able to abort an ill-conceived war.
    3. See #2.
    4. “Gonna baptize you in fire, so you can sin no more. Gonna establish my rule through civil war.” (Bob Dylan “By and By”)
    5. I do not think Reason has jumped it yet. Wish I could say the same for the LP, which began the shark approach with the Badnarik for President campaign, and jumped that shark with the “Iraq Exit Strategy”.

  24. Jeff P wrote:

    Today is the thirtieth anniversary of me losing my virginity! Yay me!

    Me too! How freaky is that?

    Was it the same guy?

  25. 1. The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.

    2. It should be legal up to the point of viability. That is, until the little bastard gets a job.

    3. I like the part where I can sit here in my pajamas and typing on the internets instead of walking the streets of Baghdad in body armor. I’m not so happy about how much it’s costing us. Not just the cash, but the corrupt way that cash is being funneled, and mostly the way my country that I love dearly, has become the worlds bully.

    4. How may I give you a hand, from the position at your feet where I stand? So let me thank you for putting me back in my snail shell

    5. When Carpet Humping Guy showed up, but it jumped back when I started using Mozilla Firefox

  26. SR: then why would the caller call to win a chance at a prize that doesn’t exist?:)

  27. Mark:

    yes, I am

  28. Shark Jumping?!?

    You know-nothings have no right to talk on the subject of shark jumping unless you’ve actually jumped a shark. Or were on Happy Days. Or at least own an autographed picture of Henry Winkler.

    I ate shark fin soup twice, twice, back in the eighties, so I at least have some grounds for speaking.

    Bunch of frickin’ chickensharks.

  29. No, yes, so-so, what a long strange trip it’s been, second issue.

  30. joe, have you ever read Cornelius Ryan’s book that was the basis for A Bridge Too Far? I bought it a few months ago, but I haven’t read it yet. I remember reading one of William Goldman’s books where he talked about that movie. He said the movie wasn’t a success because the truth was too weird to be believable to many people.

    1. Is there a God? Maybe.
    Abortion: Should it be legal? Maybe.
    So how’s that Iraq War going? Is that Iraq or Iran? I always get those mixed up.
    Got any rock lyrics you feel like sharing?Sure. I always liked the song these lyrics come from, even though it really isn’t about the “Philadelphia Freedom” we’re celebrating today:

    Oh Philadelphia freedom
    Shine on me, I love you
    Shine a light
    Through the eyes of the ones left behind
    Shine a light, shine a light
    Shine a light, won’t you shine a light?
    Philadelphia freedom, I love you, yes I do.

    When did Reason jump the shark? When Nick declared that libertarians had really won enough of the war for freedom to turn from politics and economics to cultural issues. Or something like that. That was pre-9/11, of course. As an aside, I note that the Fonz and Nick both wear leather jackets.

  31. So what’s the deal with 4th July? Do you guys buy each other presents today?

    If so, did anyone get an Xbox 360?

  32. prefer surfing the Net to barbecue and fireworks

    If BBQ and fireworks could happen in the A/C, you would never find me surfing the net on a holiday. I fuckin’ hate summer. I’m white, white, white, I burn, burn, burn, and I’m all funned out on the heat wave thing. I know, I can hear everyone say, “In LA, it’s a dry heat”. Well, it’s a HEAT heat. What has it been, 9 or 10 100-degree days in a row now? Who even fucking cares anymore. Just make it stop.

    (I have an older “character” home with no A/C, no central heat, and no insulation.)

    Lyrics?
    “The heat is on, the heat is on, the heat is on
    Oh it’s on the street, the heat is – on.”

  33. 1. Is there a God?

    There has to be something better. If I’m an example of the best there is, that would be tragic.

    2. Abortion: Should it be legal?

    Thats a tough one. Hopefully science will soon make the question moot so we can all just move on.

    3. So how’s that Iraq War going?

    The nation building seems to be going slower than expected. I suspect we’ll be out by the ’08 election regardless. We will just define winning as whatever is going on at the time.

    4. Got any rock lyrics you feel like sharing?

    anything by Whitesnake.

    5. When did Reason jump the shark?

    I’m looking down at the men in the grey suits as I type.

  34. Bee’s right, no June Gloom this year in LA. Out here in God’s Country it’s been even hotter than Hell but we’ve just been stoking the coffers of So Cal Edison. Until yesterday when the AC went south.

    And it isn’t a particularly dry heat with all those thunderstorms to the southeast. Okay, it isn’t Memphis in August, but it ain’t Tucson neither.

    Went to the beach (Huntington not Kaanapali) yesterday and it was even hot there. Great waves though.

    Happy 4th of July.

  35. Never read it, Pro L. I’ll put it on the list.

  36. biologist —

    Thanks for the Mr. Bungle reference!

    mjs

  37. Patton rules.

    That first Bungle was the classic best.

    Ever hear Bungle live? Freakin’ amazing. It’s like a flurry of mad-scientist music-making.

  38. Is it true that Mike Patton took a poo in the air conditiong vent of an MTV office?

    I certainly hope so.

  39. joe, I’ll make a point to read it sometime in the near future. As soon as I’m done with my Berger fest (I’m on Return to Little Big Man now).

    Here’s another song lyric for our civil disobedience readers: Judas Priest’s “Breakin’ the Law”. The lyric? “Breakin’ the law” 🙂

  40. 1) If he does, he’s awfully shy.

    2) The state has no compelling interest in banning abortion, as there is no threat to public safety or order.

    3) “Wars,” saith James Dunnigan, “tend to continue until one or both sides are exhausted or suddenly become enlightened to the absurdity of it all.” Since Asian banks keep buying our debt and the insurgents are able to find plenty of recruits in a country with eighty percent unemployment, the war will probably be going quite well for many years to come. I don’t see signs of enlightenment on either side.

    4) Yes, I do:

    A long time ago our point of view
    Was broadcast by Mr Bartholomew
    Now the world is full of sorrow and shame
    And it’s time for us to speak up again

    He’s slack and sorry such an arrogant brood
    The only purpose he serves is to bring us our food
    We sit here staring at his pomp and pout
    Outside the bars we use for keeping him out

    He’s taken everything that he wanted
    Broke it up and plundered it and hunted
    Ever since we said it he went and took the credit
    And it’s been this way since the world began
    And a vicious creature took the jump from monkey to man

    Every time man struggles and fails
    He makes up some kind of fairy tales
    After all of the trouble that he has caused
    He denies he’s descended from the dinosaurs

    He points up to heaven with cathedral spires
    All the time indulging in his base desires
    Ever since we said it he went and took the credit
    And it’s been this way since the world began
    And a vicious creature took the jump from monkey to man

    Big and useless as he has become
    With his crying statues and his flying bomb
    He goes around acting like the chosen one
    Excuse us if we treat him like our idiot cousin

    He hangs up flowers and bells and rhymes
    Hoping to hell someone’s forgiven his crimes
    Fills up the air with his pride and praise
    He’s a big disgrace to our beastly ways

    In the fashionable nightclubs and finer precincts
    Man uses words to dress up his vile instincts
    Ever since we said it he went and took the credit
    And it’s been this way since the world began
    And a vicious creature took the jump from monkey to man

    5) I agree, the commentators remain in the comments section.

  41. 1. maybe
    2. yes
    3. poorly
    4.
    If you ever question beliefs that you hold you’re not alone (not alone)
    What you need to realize is every myth is a metaphor (metaphor)
    In the case of Christianity
    And Judaism there exists the belief
    That spiritual matters are enslaved to history
    The Buddhists believe that the functional aspects override the myth (ride the myth)
    While other religions use the literal core to build foundations with (foundations with)
    See half the world sees the myth as fact
    While it’s seen as a lie by the other half and
    The simple truth is that it’s none of that and
    Somehow no matter what the world keeps turning
    Somehow we get by without ever learning
    -Screeching Weasel, “The Science of Myth”
    5. When Gillespie stopped blogging about anything other than his social functions.

  42. “Patton rules.”

    Yeah, but it’s very long. You need a whole uninterrupted day.

    “A Bridge Too Far” is a little easier to work into your schedule.

  43. 1. Doesn’t appear to be.
    2. For sure.
    3. Could be better.
    4. Karn Evil #9 by Emerson, Lake, and Palmer.
    It’s on the Brain Salad Surgery CD. Look it
    up yourself this is as close to work as I am
    comming today.
    5. Ask joe.

  44. By the way “A Bridge to Far” is an fine movie. Can’t go wrong there.
    Happy Birthday America!

  45. 1. In my pants.
    2. Only up to the 200th trimester.
    3. Better than one might expect.
    4. Of course. A little ditty about a robot uprising:

    Ribonucleic acid freak out, the power of prayer.
    Long halls of science and all the lunatics committed there.
    Robot Lords of Tokyo, SMILE TASTE KITTENS!
    Did you not know that the royal hunting grounds are always forbidden?
    Are you rolling tape now? Bits and pieces large and small,
    Sector, vector, eat them all.
    It?s already in their eyes.
    Among the metal ones a messenger will soon arrive.

    One zero zero zero one one one zero one zero one!
    Periodic table with a center piece of mind.
    One zero zero zero one one one zero one zero one!
    Periodic table with a center piece of mind.

    Man alive, the jive and lyrics,
    Radioactive, don?t come near it.
    Temple of Syrinx having the bake sale of the year.
    Man alive, the jive and lyrics,
    Radioactive, don?t come near it.
    Temple of Syrinx having the bake sale of the year.

    Ain?t nothing you can do about it. Gonna be a big brawl over it,
    Like them little bitty babies in the king cakes.
    Bonnie & Clyde the whole dome,
    The shackles of automata will shatter like their bones.

    One zero zero zero one one one zero one zero one!
    Periodic table with a center piece of mind.
    One zero zero zero one one one zero one zero one!
    Periodic table with a center piece of mind.

    Man alive the jive and lyrics,
    Radioactive, don?t come near it.
    Temple of Syrinx having the bake sale of the year.
    Man alive the jive and lyrics,
    Radioactive, don?t come near it.
    Temple of Syrinx having the bake sale of the year.

    Ribonucleic acid freak out, the power of prayer.
    Long halls of science and all the lunatics committed there.
    Robot Lords of Tokyo, SMILE TASTE KITTENS!
    Did you not know that the royal hunting grounds are always forbidden?

    One zero zero zero one one one zero one zero one!
    Half a mind to double up, baby. Three times is jive.
    One zero zero zero one one one zero one zero one!
    Half a mind to double up, baby. Three times is jive.

    Man alive, the jive and lyrics,
    Radioactive, don?t come near it.
    Temple of Syrinx having the bake sale of the year.
    Man alive, the jive and lyrics,
    Radioactive, don?t come near it.
    Temple of Syrinx having the bake sale of the year.

    5. When you started allowing any riff-raff to comment.

  46. Reason jumped the shark a few years ago when it adopted its current harder-to-read look. A less eye-friendly font (especially the coin-style numerals and nearly invisible periods), page numbers in a hard-to-see color too close to the gutter (far from the edge), distractingly unbalanced columns, a goofy edge-bar feature in the reviews, a few other things I complained about at the time. The TOC was improved, but everything else got harder to use. What, you want to deliberately discourage the bifocals crowd? Whatever happened to form following fx?

  47. 1. Does chi count?
    2. Ooh rah
    3. Looks pretty bleak looking out my suburban window
    4. “We don’t need no edumahcation.” Oh wait, I think that’s Dubya’s version of the song.
    5. It’s only gotten better. Used to be about the world’s most boring magazine, with long dry articles that went into excruciating detail that ony the wonkiest wonk could possibly find interesting. Nick, you deserve kudos for bringing in more articles and reviews on culture, literature, and history. And for just generally improving the interest level of the magazine.

    Chewy, isn’t it “unce, tice, fee times a mady”?

  48. “Patton rules.”

    “Yeah, but it’s very long. You need a whole uninterrupted day.”

    Not really. Costner is more the star of No Way Out.

    (next leap?)

  49. This land is your land
    This land is my land
    From California to the New York island
    From the redwood forest
    To the gulf-stream water
    This land was made for you and me

    Well a big high wall there
    it tried to stop me
    Sign painted on it
    Said: “Private Property”
    The other side of the sign
    Didn’t say
    nothing
    That side was made for you and me

    This land is your land
    This land is my land
    From California to the New York island
    From the redwood forest
    To the gulf-stream waters
    This land belongs to you and me

    On a bright sunny morning
    In the shadow of a steeple
    By the relief office
    I seen my people
    and they were hungry
    and they were wondering
    does this land belong to you and me?

    This land is your land
    This land is my land
    From California to the New York island
    From the redwood forest
    To the gulf-stream waters
    This land belongs to you and me

    You and me
    Everybody

    This land was made for everybody
    each and every one of us
    the old,
    the young,
    the poor,
    the rich,
    the black, the brown, the yellow, the red, everybody

    No matter what religion you have
    No matter what part of the world you come from to here
    This piece of dirt,
    under our feet
    doesn’t belong to just one person
    The person with the most lawyers doesn’t own all of it
    It belongs to everybody

    And I’m not just talking about this dirt right underneath our feet here
    The whole world
    The whole earth belongs to everybody
    Each and every one of us
    Each and every one of us on the planet
    owns all the planet

    And all we gotta do
    What we’ve got to do is have a plan

    I have a dream
    I have a vision
    That everybody on the planet
    is going to get together
    and they’re going to go
    to the amusement park of my mind:
    Mojo World

    Where there’s water slides
    with loop-d-loops
    and barbecue sauce in the water slides
    and there’s go-cart tracks
    goin through the middle of the
    loop-d-loop and the water slide
    and there’s
    drive-in-movie THEATERS
    showing “Vanishing Point”, “Two-lane Blacktop”
    and “Thunder Road” every night

    And you can always buy
    Cheeze Whiz
    Beanie Weenies, Royal Crown, Pomade, and
    the liquor store’s open twenty four hours a day
    every day
    yeah
    and there’s no fool wearing a little badge saying
    “We ID under 25”
    If they ID you
    and you’re old enough to buy it
    YOU GET IT FREE

    That’s Mojo World

    Yeah, and Every Saturday night
    a tribute to a great American hero
    It’s Evel Knieval Saturday Night
    There in Mojo World

    There’s cheap beer
    live music
    twenty four hour record store
    You can buy Brunswick Stew
    and hot dogs with cole slaw on ’em

    You’re all probably saying
    Mojo?
    How Do I get to this place?
    I wanna go.

    Everybody

    Everybody wants to go to Mojo World
    Let me tell you whatchoo gotta do:
    Turn right at the light
    Go past the trailer parks
    Stand naked
    Singing
    In the blazing sunlight of liberty

    You gotta sing
    You gotta sing

    This land is your land
    This land is my land
    From California to the New York island
    From the redwood forest
    To the gulf-stream waters
    This land was made for you and me

    This land is your land
    This land is my land
    From California to the New York island
    From the redwood forest
    To the gulf-stream waters
    This land belongs to you and me

    You and me
    Everybody

    This land

  50. 1. Is there a God?
    Who cares?

    2. Abortion: Should it be legal?
    Sure, but I don’t care.

    3. So how’s that Iraq War going?
    Better than expected for a bunch of people that ignore Truman and Marshall.

    4. Got any rock lyrics you feel like sharing?
    Times are hard getting harder
    We’re born to lose and destined to fail

    5. When did Reason jump the shark?
    Juanita.

  51. Happy 4th of July everbody, everywhere. Do they have a 4th of July in Iraq?

    1. Is there a God?
    My mind is turning to mush in rumination.

    2. Abortion: Should it be legal?
    Only under circumstances when the foetus is in agreement.

    3. So how’s that Iraq War going?
    Everything seemed fine on Monster Garage in Iraq. How bad could it be with a blown 502 big block Hummer over there?

    4. Got any rock lyrics you feel like sharing?
    Anything by They Might Be Giants.

    But especially:
    In a world we call our home,
    There’s lots of room to roam
    Plenty of time to turn mistakes into rhyme
    There’s a place for those who love their poetry.
    It’s just across from the sign that says, “Pros only”.

    So if you like a band with a chick singer,
    Say your cup of tea is a wall of trombones,
    If you dig Menudo, or MDC we salute you the way we know

    For every one with dollar signs in his eyes,
    There must be hundreds who look at you as if you’re some kind of

    Rhythm section want ad
    No others need apply to the rhythm section want ad
    I’ll tell you why

    Hats off to the new age hairstyle made of bones
    Hats off to the use of hats as megaphones
    Speak softly, drive a Sherman tank
    Laugh hard, it’s a long way to the bank
    Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose
    You guys must be into the Eurythmics

    For every one with dollar signs in his eyes
    There must be hundreds who look at you as if you’re some kind of

    Rhythm section want ad
    No others need apply to the rhythm section want ad
    And here’s the reason why

    5. When did Reason jump the shark?
    I don’t know. I’m too new here but I saw naked cow jumping on the National Geographic channel yesterday.

  52. perhaps you should read question 2 again

    I read the question correctly. My reply was just a smart ass comment on the common pro-life stance that it should be illegal except in cases of rape or incest. I understand why people make the rape/incest exception but if one is “pro-life” I don’t understand the logic of aborting the innocent third party that the movement claims to be protecting because of how the pregnancy occured.

  53. Reason jumped the shark a few years ago when it adopted its current harder-to-read look. A less eye-friendly font (especially the coin-style numerals and nearly invisible periods), page numbers in a hard-to-see color too close to the gutter (far from the edge), distractingly unbalanced columns, a goofy edge-bar feature in the reviews, a few other things I complained about at the time. The TOC was improved, but everything else got harder to use. What, you want to deliberately discourage the bifocals crowd? Whatever happened to form following fx?

    Comment by: Robert at July 4, 2006 01:02 PM

    Good points. To which I’ll add;
    Why can’t Reason put the captions under the pictures? And in a font size that can be read with the naked eye?

  54. Ooooh scape,
    Never explain the joke. Those that don’t get it, don’t deserve to, and it ruins it for those that do.

  55. 1. YES and he HATES ILLEGALS

    2.Only for MEXICAN women

    3. The real FIGHT is on our BORDER

    4. “If you’re LEGAL, you can fly with the EAGLE”

    5. When it was BOUGHT by ILLEGALS

  56. scape – sorry I missed the joke

    warren – maybe it wasn’t funny:)

  57. 1. No.
    2. Yes.
    3. It just keeps going, and going, and going.
    4. http://grandmofhelsing.livejournal.com/135881.html
    5. When it published me, of course. I am the Ted McGinley of libertarian publishing. I killed The Freeman, too. 😉

  58. 1. If there is, I’d doubt that it’s any of the one’s people worship.

    2. Yes, but in a better world people would be careful enough to make it a relatively rare procedure.

    3. The Bush admininstration fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is “never get involved in a land war in Asia”, but only slightly less well known is this: “never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line”!

    Our armed forces did what they do better than anyone else. Defeat other armed forces. I think that being an occupying force in a hostile territory that you don’t intend to colonize is nearly impossible.

    4. To continue M’ s TMBG love:

    I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage
    Called the blood of the exploited working class
    But they’ve overcome their shyness
    Now they’re calling me Your Highness
    And a world screams, “Kiss me, Son of God”

    I destroyed a bond of friendship and respect
    Between the only people left who’d even look me in the eye
    Now I laugh and make a fortune
    Off the same ones that I tortured
    And a world screams, “Kiss me, Son of God”

    I look like Jesus, so they say
    But Mr. Jesus is very far away
    Now you’re the only one here who can tell me if it’s true
    That you love me and I love me

    I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage
    Called the blood of the exploited working class
    But they’ve overcome their shyness
    Now they’re calling me Your Highness
    And a world screams, “Kiss me, Son of God”
    Yes a world screams, “Kiss me, Son of God”

    5. Fonzie was an animal abuser.

  59. 1. Meh. I said, Meh!
    2. Yes.
    3. I defer to Kwais. But it sure looks shitty from my chair.
    5. Reason jumped the shark precisely the moment before any particular person started reading it. Whenever you started reading, it was so much better before that.

    4. I’ve been trying in vain to find out more about this tune, which I recorded off of internet radio. The anarchist lyrics wouldn’t be remarkable for a punk song, but the whole thing is set to a nice Booker T and the MGs style groove:

    do it punk
    waste a pig
    dianna rig (?)
    blow your cool
    fuck the rules

    make it fucked up…

    walk the walls
    and do it fucked up
    bomb the malls
    and do it fucked up
    get real drunk
    do it punk
    hit the streets
    eat raw meat
    hang with sluts
    spill your guts
    take a stand
    fuck the man

    sell your soul
    and make it fucked up

    bulldoze the jails
    and make it fucked up

    skip out on rent
    and make it fucked up

    smash your car
    and make it fucked up
    follow your heart
    and make it fucked up
    waste a bouncer
    40 ouncer

    burn down the banks
    and make it fucked up
    sell some crank
    and make it fucked up
    off the pigs
    Darvey (?) lives

  60. duck of death,

    I suppose you’re right, it has been a while. Maybe, though, I’m invoking not just Buckwheat’s greatest hits, but also Murphy’s stand-up bit about his dad always getting lyrics wrong.

  61. 1. I doubt it.
    2. Doesn’t bother me.
    3. Survey says…no!
    4. Some Sage words:

    …I didn’t mind working for free as a walking billboard /
    But now I want my money back…as my ice spilled and poured /
    Onto the floor I did see a distorted reflection of my Nike hat /
    Now I don’t know how others might react /
    For me it was an unsightly act that helped me get my psyche back /
    I stood 5 feet back, afraid that it might strike me like “Shaclack clack!” /
    You think I’m kidding? Think it’s no big thing? /
    What I saw made my heart hurt, stomach turn, throat burn, teeth cringe, spine tingle, and ribs sting /
    I noticed that the swoosh symbol was nothing but a whip in mid-swing…

    5. The day James Ard showed up.

  62. 1) No.

    2) Yes but the longer the mother waits the more unethical her decision is (but the decision remains hers)

    3) Endlessly

    4) Indeed:

    So ya
    Thought ya
    Might like to
    Go to the show.
    To feel that warm thrill of confusion,
    That space cadet glow.
    I’ve got some bad news for you sunshine,
    Pink isn’t well, he stayed back at the hotel
    And they sent us along as a surrogate band
    We’re gonna find out where you folks really stand.

    Are there any queers in the theater tonight?
    Get them up against the wall!
    There’s one in the spotlight, he don’t look right to me,
    Get him up against the wall!
    That one looks Jewish!
    And that one’s a coon!
    Who let all of this riff-raff into the room?
    There’s one smoking a joint,
    And another with spots!
    If I had my way,
    I’d have all of you shot!

    5) “Leibertarian” in headline.

  63. dead elvis,

    That’s “fuck shit up,” by the Dub Narcotic Sound System. And that’s Darby Crash of the Germs invoked in the last line.

  64. 1) Well, I’m not going to tell Him if you don’t.
    2) Not only legal but retroactive.
    3) I can see the tunnel at the end of the light.
    4) A Wop-Boppa Loo-Bop a Wop-Bam Boom!
    5) When I started postingm

  65. David, I love that TMBG song!

    I’ve been to a few of their concerts, and I’m always tempted to yell out a request, except I’d feel really weird as a straight dude yelling “Kiss me son of God!”

  66. 4. To continue M’ s TMBG love:

    Just want to point out that I was first to post Giants lyrics on this thread (albeit prior to the annoying practice of posting the whole song.)

    And yes, I realize that singing one’s own praises is as uncouth as laughing at one’s own joke. But if I don’t do it, no one will.

    And yes, I realize that means my contributions are not as profound and witty as I think they are. But maybe I’m just too subtle for you and you don’t appreciate the depths and multiple interpretations and cognitive stimuli, and SHUT UP.

    aw shit [stares into his drink]

  67. Warren, go back into your snail shell!

    My eyes were too narrow as I was racing to the bottom of a glass.

    Hovering sombreros off to you!

  68. Thanks chewy!

  69. warren, just remember the world’s a dress

  70. 1. Yes, and she has a sick sense of humor
    2. Yes, but it’s better for all concerned to avoid needing one.
    3. The light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train
    4. It’s not rock, but I bought this on iTunes today:

    Ven der Fuerher says, Ve iss der master race,
    Ve go Heil, Heil, right in der Fuerher’s face

    I mean it IS from WWII, so I guess it’s kind of patriotic

    5. Hasn’t someone banned shark jumping, or at least required the use of helmets? Think of the children!!

    Mr. Walker did say recipes were also welcome, so for the good of humanity, I’m publishing my secret dried cherry chutney, to be served with barbequed pork or chicken:

    1 large shallot, finely chopped
    1.5 cups dried cherries
    olive oil
    couple whole cloves and allspice berries, pulverised. If that’s not available, use a pinch of the ground stuff
    .5 tsp ground cumin
    .5 tsp ground coriander seeds
    1.5 cups port or sherry. (Don’t waste the good stuff here. Cheap is fine.)
    2 tablespoons cherry or peach preserves

    Put small amount of olive oil in the bottom of saucepan over medium high heat. Saute chopped shallots until clear, about two minutes. Add dried cherries and toss in oil. Allow to cook for one minute. Add spices, preserves, and booze. Reduce heat to medium low and cook until thickened, about 15 minutes. Serve with pork or chicken.

  71. 1. Yes–Me.
    2. Yes–because I will it.
    3. If your jackass president really listened to me, like he says he does, the question would be moot.
    4. No.
    5. The day Mona cancelled her subscription.

    Here’s a recipe-in-progress. The spice amounts are still approximations, as I make these slightly differently every time.

    Super-Easy Curried Crab Cream Cheese Rolls

    1 7-oz. can of crabmeat, drained
    1 8-oz. block of cream cheese, softened
    1 can Pillsbury crescent rolls*
    2 teaspoons hot pepper sauce
    2 teaspoons curry powder
    1 teaspoon cumin
    1 teaspoon paprika
    1 teaspoon ground red pepper

    Thoroughly mix crabmeat, pepper sauce and spices into the cream cheese and then put one heaping spoonful of cheese mixture into the center of each crescent roll; wrap the roll around the cheese and bake according to the directions on the can (about 11-13 minutes).

    *Though recipe calls for only one can of crescent rolls, this actually makes enough crab-and-cheese mixture for two cans’ worth of rolls. I make it all at once because it’s too much bother to save half a can of crab and half a block of cream cheese. If you cover and refrigerate the leftovers, it should keep for at least a few days. When heated, it also makes a decent crab dip.

  72. But what about the IMMAGRINTS??

  73. 1. I find it instructive that the old canard doesn’t say “as sure as God, death, and taxes.”

    2. If doctors still made house calls it wouldn’t be an issue.

    3. The plot is too slow and the bad guys, while creepy, just aren’t all that convincing.

    4. “No matter how hard you kick the bucket, son, it’ll survive you” – Johnny Socko

    5. It was a Siamese Fighting Fish. Geez, you guys are so full of yourselves…

  74. Karen – is that from The Producers?

  75. 1. No. And if yes, he’s a petty and vengeful god.
    2. Right up until the 81st trimester.
    3. The insurgency is in its final death throes.
    4. “You used me like an ashtray heart”
    5. The Carpet Humper episode.

  76. 1.Is there a God?

    I strongly doubt it.

    2.Abortion: Should it be legal?

    Yes, cuz all relationships should be voluntary. Although I still don’t approve of all abortions, I want no one to ever coerce against that choice.

    3.So how’s that Iraq War going?

    There is no way that it could be going well. It was wrong from the start.

    4. Got any rock lyrics you feel like sharing?

    Sunshine
    by Jonathan Edwards

    Sunshine go away today,
    I don’t feel much like dancin’
    Some man’s gone, he’s tried to run my life
    Don’t know what he’s askin’

    He tells me I’d better get in line
    Can’t hear what he’s sayin’
    When I grow up, I’m gonna make it mine
    These ain’t dues I been payin’

    How much does it cost? I’ll buy it.
    The time is all we’ve lost. I’ll try it.
    He can’t even run his own life,
    I’ll be damned if he’ll run mine
    Sunshine

    5.When did Reason jump the shark?

    I can’t recall that this wonderfully hep, iconoclastic, and informed publication ever did.

  77. “They do not abide by the rules of war IN THE LEAST, so they shouldn’t be given the same respect at all.”

    I think that’s what the Redcoats said about a certain group of sneaky, drygulching, anarchists.

    Happy Independence Day, y’all.

    Comment by: P Brooks at July 3, 2006 10:05 AM

    —–

    The answer to (1) above:

    “Yes. And you people are really pissing me off.”

  78. Karen – is that from The Producers?

    OMNEG Are you being too subtle for me? Or are you seriously unacquainted with America’s most historically significant, master musical craftsman?

    Just out of curiosity biologist. Can you derive the quadratic formula?

  79. No one likes us
    I don’t know why

    We may not be perfect
    But Heaven knows we try

  80. In other news, Italy just beat Germany 2-0 in the waning minutes of double OT. First goal was just beautiful.

  81. You’ve got to hand it to the Italians, they may or may not win the World Cup on Sunday, but they’re a lock for the Oscars.

  82. 1. Buh. Sneh. Nyes. Yo.
    2. No. Think of the armies of little ghosts we’ve created.
    3. I just got back from Baghdad, and with arms are my boys shot.
    4. “I wanna live like common people, I wanna do whatever common people do. I want to sleep with common people, I want to sleep with common people like you.”
    5. In that episode where Nick Gillespie went to Hollywood with his pal Richie and got in a shark-jumping contest with the beach bum. Oh, wait …

  83. 1. Hell No
    2. Hell Yes
    3. Like homemade shit (apologies to the Fugs)
    4. Wop-Bop-A-Loo-Bop-A-Lop-Bam-Boom (R. Penniman)
    5. When Ted McGinley joined the editorial staff…

  84. Warren – I was being sincere. I’m completely unfamiliar with Spike Jones.

    quadratic equation – Dammit, Jim, I’m a biologist, not a mathematician!

    no, I can’t derive it. do you mean as in calculus, take the derivative? in any case, no. it’s been 17 years since calculus, and longer since any other math classes, except a grad course in biostatistics, which was application based, light on the theory, and hold the calc

  85. “Today is the thirtieth anniversary of me losing my virginity! Yay me!”

    This has been plaguing me for hours. Other than the (plausible and honorable) possibility that today is your wedding anniversary… so what? I recall that thirty years ago there was fairly intense hoopla regarding the 200th Anniversary and all that, but gee whiz. Was it in the torch of the Statue of Liberty, amidst the rockets’ red glare? On the mall, in Washington (circumstances likewise memorably patriotic)?

    Maybe I’m just jealous- you must have really liked her.

    Sorry- I’ll go back to work.

  86. 1. Is there a God?
    The question is pointless since it is impossible to know.

    2. Abortion: Should it be legal?
    Abortion should be legal up to the point in time at which the fetus develops complex brain wave activity (thus becoming an unborn child).

    3. So how’s that Iraq War going?
    It’s not really a war; it’a a post-war occupation that is not going very well. (The insurgency is still quite effective at killing people.)

    4. Got any rock lyrics you feel like sharing?
    No.

    5. When did Reason jump the shark?
    Reason is in the process of jumping the shark as it gradually replaces reason with ideologically fueled emotional rhetoric.

  87. 1. Nein
    2. Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.
    3. What the last person said.
    4. Slayer’s pretty patriotic. Find your own damn lyrics.
    5. The moment I bought a subscription…I have yet to buy one, so I guess that’s a good thing.

  88. Happy Independence Day everyone!!!

    Here’s to the Bill of Rights, capitalism and individual liberty in general.

    Karen, Jennifer,

    Thanks for the recipes Karen and Jennifer. Jennifer, I like the spices that you use but it’d still work if I went sans crab and substituted salmon instead, huh? Cuz I don’t eat shell fish much- I’m not Jewish or Muslim, I just don’t dig em-I love salmon though.

    Cranberry-Peach Apocalypse (I invented this one and everything in it is good for you.)

    1 or 2 cans of whole berry cranberries
    Same amount of Peaches. (I use lite and wash off the syrup)
    Nutmeg (The killer ingredient-experiment with quantity)
    Cinnamon(smaller amount than the nutmeg)
    Stir. Tastes so groovy! Very easy.

  89. …A gal I met at a party, who ate some, told me that it would make a swell pie filling.

  90. 1. Is there a God?

    No. If there was one, then I’d be first to demand his immediate overthrow.

    2. Abortion: Should it be legal?

    Yes. Will the fetus fetishists be willing to pay for the upkeep of unwanted children if they ever made it illegal?

    3. So how’s that Iraq War going?

    Three words: Pull out NOW!

    4. Got any rock lyrics you feel like sharing?

    Everything Louder Than Everything Else
    By Jim Steinman.

    (Wasted youth! Wasted youth!)

    I know that I will never be politically correct
    And I don’t give a damn about my lack of etiquette
    As far as I’m concerned, the world could still be flat
    And if the thrill is gone, then it’s time to take it back
    If the thrill is gone, then it’s time to take it back

    Who am I? Why am I here?
    Forget the questions, someone gimme another beer
    What’s the meaning of life, what’s the meaning of it all?
    You gotta learn to dance before you learn to crawl
    You gotta learn to dance before you learn to crawl

    So sign up all you raw recruits,
    Throw away those designer suits
    You got your weapons cocked,
    Your targets in your sights
    There’s a party raging somewhere in the world
    You gotta serve your country,
    Gotta service your girl
    You’re all enlisted in the armies of the night
    And I ain’t in it for the power,
    And I ain’t in it for my health
    I ain’t in it for the glory of anything at all
    And I sure ain’t in it for the wealth
    But I’m in it till it’s over and I just can’t stop
    If you wanna get it done,
    You gotta do it yourself
    And I like my music like I like my life

    Everything louder than everything else,
    Everything louder than everything else,
    Everything louder than everything else,
    Everything louder than everything else,
    Everything louder than everything else,
    Everything louder than everything else,

    (Wasted youth! Wasted youth!)
    (Wasted youth! Wasted youth!)

    They got a file on me and it’s a mile long
    And they say that they got all of the proof
    That I’m just another case of arrested development
    And just another wasted youth
    They say that I’m in need of some radical discipline
    They say I gotta face the truth
    That I’m just another case of arrested development
    And just another wasted youth
    They say I’m wild and I’m reckless,
    (wild, wild, wild)
    I should be acting my age
    I’m an impressionable child in a tumultuous world
    And they say I’m at a difficult stage
    But it seems to me to the contrary
    Of all the crap they’re going to put on the page
    That a wasted youth is better by far
    Than a wise and productive old age
    A wasted youth is better by far
    Than a wise and productive old age
    A wasted youth is better by far
    Than a wise and productive old age
    A wasted youth is better by far
    Than a wise and productive old age
    A wasted youth is better by far
    Than a wise and productive old age
    A wasted youth is better by far
    Than a wise and productive old age

    If you want my views of history
    Then there’s something you should know
    The three men I admire most
    Are Curly, Larry and Mo!
    If you don’t worry ’bout the future,
    Sooner or later it’s the past
    And if they say the thrill is gone,
    Then it’s time to take it back
    If the thrill is gone,
    Then it’s time to take it back

    So sign up all you raw recruits,
    Throw away all those two-bit suits
    You got your weapons cocked,
    Your targets in your sights
    There’s a party raging somewhere in the world
    You gotta serve your country,
    Gotta service your girl
    You’re all inducted in the armies of the night
    And I ain’t in it for the power,
    And I ain’t in it for my health
    I ain’t in it for the glory of anything at all
    And I sure ain’t in it for the wealth
    But I’m in it till it’s over and I just can’t stop
    If you wanna get it done,
    You gotta fight for yourself
    And I like my music like I like my life

    Everything louder than everything else
    Everything louder than everything else
    Everything louder than everything else

    5. When did Reason jump the shark?

    We’re gonna need a bigger boat!

  91. Jennifer, I like the spices that you use but it’d still work if I went sans crab and substituted salmon instead, huh?

    It should, but you have to make sure the salmon is shredded, the way crabmeat is out of the can. Solid chunks of fish won’t work; you need the fish, spices and cheese to Become As One. You must shred the fish to achieve Zen.

  92. Rick and Jennifer, thanks for the recipes. I’m definitely going to try both of ’em.

    biologist, I learned about Spike Jones from my husband, who can actually sing all of “Der Fuerher’s Face” and make the sound effects. That’s why I married him. I think there’s an old MGM cartoon somewhere, too. He’s certainly not Glenn Miller or Tommy Dorsey, though.

    Glorious Fourth to all of you,

  93. “REAL LIBERTARIANS know that it jumped the shark after the very first issue! You young whippersnappers need to go read that first issue! Everything since then has been sell-out crap!”

    thoreau,
    Thanks for covering for me while I was over at the in-laws in Indiana gumming a 4th of July weeny.

  94. biologist, I learned about Spike Jones from my husband, who can actually sing all of “Der Fuerher’s Face” and make the sound effects. That’s why I married him. I think there’s an old MGM cartoon somewhere, too.

    Actually, it was Warner Bros.

    In fact, the song was originally recorded by Johnny Bond and his Red River Valley Boys. Spike Jones was the drummer on the session. Jones then did his own version of the song, which became the hit. Obviously, that created some bad blood between Bond and Jones.

    There’s your music trivia Fun Fact for the day.

  95. 1. Is there a God?

    Impossible to say one way or the other with certainty. Best to act as though there is, as long as you’re humble enough not to think that your every opinion happens also to be His absolute moral law.

    2. Abortion: Should it be legal?

    In many cases it should be mandatory.

    3. So how’s that Iraq War going?

    I can’t get involved! I’ve got work to do! It’s not that I like the insurgency. I hate it! But there’s nothing I can do about it right
    now. It’s such a long way from here.

    4. Got any rock lyrics you feel like sharing?

    Lately I’ve been savoring this little snippet from the Nuge’s Stranglehold:

    Some people think they gonna die someday
    I got news, you never got to go

    5. When did Reason jump the shark?

    Another nice rock lyric, from Of Montreal’s “We Are Destroying The Song,” is:

    The little Chinese Ricky is of foam
    and you know that you can Ricky model home
    WAIT don’t go home…
    we are destroying the song!!!!

  96. Karen,
    I read your recipe to the Little Woman–one level down here–and she said save it.
    I did. On a stickie.
    Now will you talk dirty to me like smacky used to do?

  97. “Today is the thirtieth anniversary of me losing my virginity! Yay me!”

    Well, last night was the twentieth anniversary of a really great night I had in Texas with an ex-model.

    No…really!

    Well, she wasn’t a super model, but she did do some professional modeling. I think she was in the Sears catalogue once or twice…

    Anyway, it was a really great night.

    Even if she did give me a case of the clams…

    (All the above is true, by the way…)

  98. WOO HOO GIANT Army plane just flew overhead, causing my cats to actually twitch their ears and the windows to rattle. They usually have parachute guys with smoke packs dive out of the plane onto the field. The Rose Bowl Extravaganza is about to begin!!

    Did I mention that I love stadium flyovers? Rose Parade, 4th of July, Angels playoffs…..bring on the deafening show of military hardware. Every time I see our planes in action, I think – man, it’s good to be *us* and not *them*. When the B-2 went thru downtown LA last year on Dodgers opening day, women in my office actually screamed. Very satisfying.

    Time to start drinking beer. And break out my sister’s Spike Jones CD – darn you Karen, can’t get that song out of my head now.

    Have fun, all!

  99. Courtesy of John and John…

    You’re older than you’ve ever been
    And now you’re even older
    And now you’re even older
    And now you’re even older
    You’re older than you’ve ever been
    And now you’re even older
    And now you’re older still.

    And Karen, that comment about the light at the end of the tunnel being on an oncoming train was priceless.

  100. Appropriate 7/4 lyrics from Mr. Zimmerman:

    Far between sundown’s finish an’ midnight’s broken toll
    We ducked inside the doorway, thunder crashing
    As majestic bells of bolts struck shadows in the sounds
    Seeming to be the chimes of freedom flashing
    Flashing for the warriors whose strength is not to fight
    Flashing for the refugees on the unarmed road of flight
    An’ for each an’ ev’ry underdog soldier in the night
    An’ we gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing.

    In the city’s melted furnace, unexpectedly we watched
    With faces hidden while the walls were tightening
    As the echo of the wedding bells before the blowin’ rain
    Dissolved into the bells of the lightning
    Tolling for the rebel, tolling for the rake
    Tolling for the luckless, the abandoned an’ forsaked
    Tolling for the outcast, burnin’ constantly at stake
    An’ we gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing.

    Through the mad mystic hammering of the wild ripping hail
    The sky cracked its poems in naked wonder
    That the clinging of the church bells blew far into the breeze
    Leaving only bells of lightning and its thunder
    Striking for the gentle, striking for the kind
    Striking for the guardians and protectors of the mind
    An’ the unpawned painter behind beyond his rightful time
    An’ we gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing.

    Through the wild cathedral evening the rain unraveled tales
    For the disrobed faceless forms of no position
    Tolling for the tongues with no place to bring their thoughts
    All down in taken-for-granted situations
    Tolling for the deaf an’ blind, tolling for the mute
    Tolling for the mistreated, mateless mother, the mistitled prostitute
    For the misdemeanor outlaw, chased an’ cheated by pursuit
    An’ we gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing.

    Even though a cloud’s white curtain in a far-off corner flashed
    An’ the hypnotic splattered mist was slowly lifting
    Electric light still struck like arrows, fired but for the ones
    Condemned to drift or else be kept from drifting
    Tolling for the searching ones, on their speechless, seeking trail
    For the lonesome-hearted lovers with too personal a tale
    An’ for each unharmful, gentle soul misplaced inside a jail
    An’ we gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing.

    Starry-eyed an’ laughing as I recall when we were caught
    Trapped by no track of hours for they hanged suspended
    As we listened one last time an’ we watched with one last look
    Spellbound an’ swallowed ’til the tolling ended
    Tolling for the aching ones whose wounds cannot be nursed
    For the countless confused, accused, misused, strung-out ones an’ worse
    An’ for every hung-up person in the whole wide universe
    An’ we gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing.

  101. Pig Mannix,
    Your link to the cartoon in question, but you claim it’s Warner Bros. when clearly it’s Disney. That’s a pretty gross error. It causes me to question the veracity of your claims regarding Johnny Bond and his Red River Valley Boys.

  102. Sir Jasper, these Dylan lyrics are also appropriate. Hopefully this country’s still being born.

    Darkness at the break of noon
    Shadows even the silver spoon
    The handmade blade, the child’s balloon
    Eclipses both the sun and moon
    To understand you know too soon
    There is no sense in trying.

    Pointed threats, they bluff with scorn
    Suicide remarks are torn
    From the fool’s gold mouthpiece
    The hollow horn plays wasted words
    Proves to warn
    That he not busy being born
    Is busy dying.

  103. Karen: ‘…I learned about Spike Jones from my husband, who can actually sing all of “Der Fuerher’s Face” and make the sound effects. That’s why I married him. I think there’s an old MGM cartoon somewhere, too.’

    “Actually, it was Warner Bros.
    In fact, the song was originally recorded by Johnny Bond and his Red River Valley Boys. Spike Jones was the drummer on the session. Jones then did his own version of the song, which became the hit. Obviously, that created some bad blood between Bond and Jones.

    There’s your music trivia Fun Fact for the day.

    Comment by: Pig Mannix at July 4, 2006 08:38 PM”

    Actually, it’s Disney. It’s a Donald Duck cartoon.

  104. The Dow goes up.
    The Dow goes down.
    Who can understand
    The Ways of the Dow?

  105. The Dow goes up.
    The Dow goes down.
    Who can understand
    The Ways of the Dow?

  106. “…ain’t got no money
    can’t pay the rent
    last week’s dole cheque
    up my arm it went
    dirty boy dirty boy
    Ain’t got no fancy car
    I ride a bus
    you can shove your Mercedes Benz
    right on up yer arse
    dirty boy dirty boy…”

  107. Jennifer:

    It should, but you have to make sure the salmon is shredded, the way crabmeat is out of the can.

    I’m thinking that I could use those Chicken of the Sea salmon packets and shredem in the blender. Would that work?

    Karen:

    I’m definitely going to try both of ’em.

    Cool! When you try mine, let me know what ya think. The email I give is real.

  108. I spent July 4 in D.C. at the Smoke In Rally. I had never been to one before, since I don’t live there, but I was going to be in town anyway and decided this would be the best place to be on July 4. It was invigorating; we had a small but motivated group.

    The highlight was that I ended up getting harassed by a cop at a national mall checkpoint who was convinced there was pot stuffed in one of the tubes at the end of a scrolling banner that we had. Needless to say, there wasn’t, but the cop cut the tube off the end of the banner, probed it with a knife for about 5 minutes, and then asked to keep it, presumably to run prints on all the potheads disturbing law and order in our nation’s capitol.

    Welcome to the new democracy, where the police can deface and confiscate your protest materials.

    Oh, well. At least I was able to return to Florida with no issues. “Can I go now, officer?”

    P.S.: A group of people at 4:20 was not so lucky as I. In fact, I didn’t see any cops in the festival area until 4:20. Coincidence?

  109. thoreau: do you like…

    No Leaf Clover by Metallica

    Then it comes to be that the soothing light
    At the end of your tunnel
    Was just a freight train comin your way …

  110. biologist-

    Sorry, I don’t listen to much metal.

    Duckman-

    I saw stuff on the news about all the security on the mall, and I just thought to myself “Yeah, what says ‘Celebrating American Freedom’ like checkpoints and searches?”

  111. Homicide:Life On The Streets wasn’t as good after Ned Beatty left. (Or was he pushed?)

  112. 1. A sentient being who created the earth? No. A phenomonon for which intelligent people have created a viable substitute? Praise the lord…
    2. Legal and accessible.
    3. Uh, hello….George W. Bush said “Mission Accomplished,” and I believe him. I also believe in smurfs.
    4. You know I’m born to lose, and gambling’s for fools, But that’s the way I like it baby, I don’t wanna live for ever, And don’t forget the joker!
    5. It didn’t, but I guess I would say: in its ideological development, free markets and big business won out over personal freedoms, innovation and competition. Still, it’s more of an ongoing debate rather than “jumping the shark” or “watching Fonzie ski in a leather jackeet”.

  113. I’m thinking that I could use those Chicken of the Sea salmon packets and shredem in the blender. Would that work?

    I guess so. I’m not sure. I’ve never cooked with salmon because, with the exception of lox and salmon sushi, I’ve never cared much for it. It seems to me that salmon loses all of its flavor once it’s been cooked.

    Anyway, Ken, try the recipe with the salmon but remember–if it tastes nasty it is NOT my fault.

  114. I loved *Homicide* (the TV series) for the first couple of seasons, but I think the show’s decline began when Ned Beatty left.
    I’ve also been watching the new edition of *Network*, and I’m struck by how good he is in that (and how hot Faye Dunaway was at the time: having seen her on *CSI: Original Recipie* this past season, she’s still pretty hot for someone her age. But she’s just scary in *Mommie Dearest*.).
    I’d post a Ned Beatty wrapped in clingfilm story, but I’m not sure that’s permitted under the topics Mr. Walker outlined (my sidebar on Ms. Dunaway is probably pushing it too far as is). Plus, I haven’t actually written one yet.

  115. Pig Mannix,
    Your link to the cartoon in question, but you claim it’s Warner Bros. when clearly it’s Disney. That’s a pretty gross error. It causes me to question the veracity of your claims regarding Johnny Bond and his Red River Valley Boys.

    You’re right, I was in a hurry to get out the door, and my typing was going faster than my brain. Anyway, I’m not a collector of or an authority on film shorts, but I am a collector of antique recordings and phonographs. As far as I’ve been able to determine, the anecdote about Johnny Bond/Spike Jones is true.

  116. 1. We’ll never know because if we did then there would be no such thing as faith.

    2. Justice is subjective so there’s no right answer. My view is pick a date like 10 weeks, abortions before then are not punishable, after that the punishments increase along with the baby’s growth.

    3. War is hell. The better question is “is it just?” No.

    4. “At a time when the world seems to be spinning hopelessly out of control there’s deceivers and believers and old in-betweeners that seem to have no place to go. It’s the same old song – it’s right and it’s wrong and livin’ is just something I do; With no place to hide, I looked in your eyes And I found myself in you.”

    5. “Jumping the shark” refers to an obvious attempt to winover an audience at the expense of everything else (like a plot line). I’ve been a Reason reader for about 5 years and haven’t witnessed Reason do it. For those that say Reason “jumped the shark” for frivilous reasons it implies that everyone jumps the shark all the time in which case the phrase becomes meaningless. The level of purity that these people expect doesn’t exist.

  117. Anyway, Ken, try the recipe with the salmon but remember–if it tastes nasty it is NOT my fault.

    Who’s Ken?

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