Lactose Intolerance: Treasonous AP Busts Open Secret Pro-Pasteurization Program

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Thank you, Ohio Department of Agriculture, for sending your brave undercover agents into the dark, lawless, unpasteurized underworld of Amish dairy farms:

Last September, a man came to [Arlie] Stutzman's weathered, two-story farmhouse, located in a pastoral region in northeast Ohio that has the world's largest Amish settlement. The man asked for milk.

After the creamy white, unpasteurized milk flowed into the container, the man, an undercover agent from the Ohio Department of Agriculture, gave Stutzman two dollars and left.

The department revoked Stutzman's license in February…

"You can't just give milk away to someone other then yourself. It's a violation of the law," said LeeAnne Mizer, spokeswoman for the department.

Sadly, an irresponsible press has effectively killed this critical, once-secret program. Disgraceful.

Hat Tip: Bureaucrash.

NEXT: The President Often Intends to Obey the Law

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  1. Maybe this bust will allow the Ohio Dept of Ag to lower their threat level from yellow to blue: Threat Level Yellow

  2. Once again the press shows its true colors by standing alongside the evildoers!

  3. I lived among the Amish. What a bunch of perverts. Good to see that they’ve at least finally nailed them for something.

  4. Note to LeeAnne Mizer: Think you’re really righteous? Think you’re pure of heart? Well I know Arlie Stutzman is a million times as humble as thou art, fool!

    We libertarians should think about moving to an Amish village. There’s no cops or traffic lights living in an Amish paradise. They don’t fight, they all play nice living in an Amish paradise.

  5. We libertarians should think about moving to an Amish village.

    Keep in mind that the men often expose their johnsons in public places.

    Been There Seen That,
    Scrapple

  6. Oh, Scrapple, don’t be vain and don’t be whiny. Otherwise the Amish might get medieval on your hiney.

    Anyway, you can’t really blame them if they act a little weird. As an Amish man walks through the valley where he harvests his grain he takes a look at his wife and realizes she’s very plain.

  7. The Amish can sometimes be in a perfect position to tell governmental busybodies where to stick it:

    http://www.citypaper.net/articles/2005-11-10/canon.shtml

    Short story: A mayoral appointee to the board of directors to a farmer’s market/bastion of tourism in the old Reading Railroad Terminal wanted to discourage certain leaseholders at the market. So he asked all the vendors to open their books, ostensibly to perform sophisticated market analysis and move vendors with better foot traffic to more visible sites, but more likely to harrass the vendors he wanted to leave. Result, and one of my favorite quotes in the Philadelphia Citypaper:

    “…And for while it looked like that management had won. The camel’s nose would soon be inside their tents. But then something happened that you might as well call divine intervention.

    God, said the Amish, wouldn’t let them open their books to management: It would be “bragging.” With the Amish in revolt, management increased the intimidation by refusing to renew the six leases.
    …”

  8. God, said the Amish, wouldn’t let them open their books to management: It would be “bragging.”

    I’ll keep that in mind if anyone objects to my underreporting my income on the 1040.

  9. Keep in mind that the men often expose their johnsons in public places.

    Oh my! Crucify the bastards!

  10. Oh my! Crucify the bastards!

    Crucifying them like Jesus would probably violate their dedication to humility.

  11. In Scrapple’s defense, I have read some accounts of some truly horrendous things that have happened to Amish girl-children at the hands of their elders. So fine, arrest the Amish for sexual abuse if the situation warrants it. But who the hell cares that they’re selling unpasteurized milk, so long as they’re not lying and claiming it’s been pasteurized?

  12. In France, the majority of the best cheeses are made with unpasteurized milk. Personally, I buy only raw milk cheese, as subtle nuances of flavor are lost when you kill the milk.

    In some respects our country is more repressive than some of the other western democracies, when it comes to irrational and pointless government intervention of this kind.

  13. As I read the article (admittedly rather hastily), the Amish dude wasn’t even selling the milk. He was intending to give it away. The undercover schmuck “asked for some milk,” and the Amish guy (although a bit wary of this stranger) gave some to him. Then the undercover guy gave the Amish guy two dollars and left. The Amish guy probably accepted the money as a sop to a beggar’s pride.

    But the undercover agent probably gave him the money so he could strengthen his case by claiming the Amish guy “sold” him the milk, when actually the agent entrapped the Amish dude by appealing to his sense of charity. What a mega-douche-wad.

  14. If I lived in Ohio, I would bust a gut at my tax money being spent on this nonsense.

    “You can’t just give milk away to someone other then yourself.” may be the stupidest sentence I have heard all day. Moron.

  15. Douglas Westerman, I thought it was illegal to sell raw milk cheese in the US – where do you get it, from your friendly neighborhood drug dealer?

  16. “”You can’t just give milk away to someone other then yourself. It’s a violation of the law,” said LeeAnne Mizer, spokeswoman for the department.”

    What in the everliving name of Cthulu on a neon-green, rocket-powered pogo stick is wrong with these people?

  17. Did anyone ever see the The Big Cheese episode of Lenny Henry’s Chef!, where Gareth ventures into the countryside in quest of raw milk cheese? Funny stuff.

    Kevin

  18. Yo thoreau man, that ain’t cool, yo.

  19. Last I heard, selling unpasteurized milk is illegal in all but three states. Some consumers circumvent these laws by buying shares in the cow, since it is legal to drink the milk if you own the cow.

  20. That was the case in Washington, but a bunch of people there and in Oregon got sick and it was traced back to a farm where the owners were selling shares of the cow(s), so the WA legislature is planning to outlaw that too – if they haven’t already.

  21. If I promse to sell some unpasteurized milk, can I get some free boots and a digital camera from the FBI?

  22. You know, sometimes I think a 100% dictatorship would be better than what we have! You know Stalin wasn’t wasting his time cracking down on this kind of idiotic crap!

  23. “You can’t just give milk away to someone other then yourself. It’s a violation of the law,” said LeeAnne Mizer, spokeswoman for the department.”

    The fuck?

  24. From the article:

    …herd share agreements take advantage of a loophole because the group is buying the cows, not the milk.

    This story supplies the answer to the age-old question, “Why buy the cow when you’re getting the milk for free?”

  25. Oddly, Florida doesn’t permit the sale of unpasteurized orange juice.

  26. Or, “Why go out to buy milk when you have a cow at home?”

  27. If I lived in Ohio, I would bust a gut at my tax money being spent on this nonsense

    Well, I do, and it’s just standard fare in everyday life here in the Fuck-I State. The Republicans are driving business out of the state, and the Dems hope to regain the governor’s mansion in order to stomp what’s left of the embers of freedom.

    Remember, this is a state where the so-called fiscally conservative, “small government” GOP invested pension monies not in mutual funds, stocks, or even one big-ass annuity … nope, put it all in rare coins. You can read it all in the Ohio Edition of Investments for Dummies.

    If you remember the opening theme to F Troop, (starring Ken Berry as Bob Taft, and Larry Storch as Ken Blackwell) then you pretty much have a good understanding of the bureaucratic bi-partisan stupidity of everyday life in Ohio government.

  28. I find it curious that libertarians can express admiration for the Amish, given that its a basically repressive society. Basically you are told what you can wear, what tools you can use, how to live your life day in and day out. Just because it isn’t the Government doing it does not mean it is not oppression…

    Also, the Amish are infamous for their puppy mills.

  29. What is wrong with OHIO? There is nothing inherently wrong with raw milk. the problem is that people do not have the intestinal fortitude that they once did. This germ phobia shit has GOT TO STOP. It is becoming clear that sometime in the not too distant future that farming will be illegal because it is too dirty. AND THAT IS WRONG R-O-N-G !!!!!!

  30. Adriana-

    I don’t really disagree with you, I was just quoting the Weird Al lyrics: “There’s no cops or traffic lights living in an Amish paradise.”

  31. Raw milk cheese is legal provided it has been aged at least 60 days. Cheese aged less than 60 days must be made from pasteurized milk.

  32. One thing about the milk czar’s comment: was the point about “not giving away milk” a vestige of the Depression-era command economy as the “sale price” was less than the state mandated floor price? I know many states have instituted tight control on milk prices, both as a sop to producers and to consumers. Is that icing on top of the raw-milk law for the Ag tool?

  33. Adriana

    One BIG DIFFERENCE. You’re free to leave the Amish.

    Try leaving your government some time.

  34. Adriana, I DO have serious qualms about the Amish, and if this thread were about a topic like the way they treat some of their children I’d be making all sorts of anti-Amish comments. But it’s not–it’s about a guy who’s in trouble with the law for giving away some milk. And THAT is bullshit, regardless of whether or not I agree with the milk-giver in other areas.

  35. Time to drag out that old chestnut about different styles of government:

    Normal Capitalism. You have a cow. You milk it and sell the milk.

    US Capitalism. You have a cow. You milk it and sell the milk. The government arrests you.

    US Capitalism: OH style. You have a cow. You milk it and give the milk away. The government arrests you.

    US Capitalism: WA style. You buy shares in a cow looked after by someone else. Your dividend is paid in the form of milk. The government arrests you.

  36. Ironic the very people that would MILK us all of our money weekly and give it to someone else would now run a sting operation to bust a Amish milk distribution ring. Now the children will be safe. Safe from what I am not sure, but rest assured they are safer because of this urgent action by the overlord milkers of the US citizens.

    Got Guberment Tit? ask your doctor it its right for you!

  37. the Amish are infamous for their puppy mills.

    They make puppies work in mills?! Those Bastards!

  38. Do they make the puppies work at bark processing plants?

  39. You can’t just give milk away to someone other then yourself.

    Well, you can’t very well give away your own milk to yourself, can you?

    Seriously, this would be some major Engrish if it didn’t come from an American.

  40. You can’t just give milk away to someone other then yourself. It’s a violation of the law,” said LeeAnne Mizer, spokeswoman for the department.

    Isn’t the gifting of milk tantamount to free speach?

  41. You can’t just give milk away to someone other then yourself. It’s a violation of the law,” said LeeAnne Mizer, spokeswoman for the department.

    Isn’t the gifting of milk tantamount to free speech?

  42. Remember, this is a state where the so-called fiscally conservative, “small government” GOP invested pension monies not in mutual funds, stocks, or even one big-ass annuity … nope, put it all in rare coins. You can read it all in the Ohio Edition of Investments for Dummies.

    Don’t talk it up, BornAgainIconoclast! They’re looking over my Yu-Gi-Oh and comic book collections and we’re this close to a deal!

    If anyone is unfamiliar with the Ohio Pension Board hilarity referenced above, check it out- gubbmint at its best. I have to say my favorite part is the 3 $10,000.00 coins that got lost in the mail

  43. Agreed, the law seems to be stupid… a leftover from the 19th century, when pasteurized milk was invented, as a way to keep disease at bay..

    (I remember back when you bought the milk and had to boil it **twice** before it was safe to drink…)

    But my sympathy for the Amish is very limited. Adults have every right to join a convent or monastery of the strictest kind, even to take a vow of silence. But to raise children in it and punish them for not having the bent to live that way…

    As for puppy mills, ask the SPCA what they are.

  44. But my sympathy for the Amish is very limited. Adults have every right to join a convent or monastery of the strictest kind, even to take a vow of silence. But to raise children in it and punish them for not having the bent to live that way…

    I fully agree, and I vociferously oppose the ruling which said the Amish can pull their kids out of school in grade 8 (thus ensuring that even if the kid wants to leave and join the real world, he won’t have the requisite education to do so). But that still has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not giving away milk should be a crime.

    Hell, I think selling unpasteurized milk should be legal, so long as it is clearly labeled “unpasteurized.” Caveat emptor.

  45. Maybe H&R should buy some of those Amish puppies to spell the server squirrels?

  46. Who here will go to the store buy milk and give it away on the corner. Ghandi made salt to protest the british. Will you give away milk and break the law? Libertarians like to talk but what are they doing about it.

  47. While I’m pretty free wheeling for other economic matters, I am against the raw milk. but y’know what? if it really means that much to you, go ahead and have your raw milk. Your bleeding anus (thanks to enterohemorrhagic E. coli, campylobacter, salmonella, etc.) is my overtime pay. eat up, I have car payments to make! muwahahahaha!

    btw, you can get plenty of queso fresco around here, made in backyard bathtubs by well-intentioned illegal aliens, sold from the backs of minivans in grocery store parking lots. great source of calcium and brucella.

    anyway, seriously, can you just not feed the stuff to old people, kids and pregnant women? every time I see a listeria report involving fetal death, it just really brings down my day.

  48. Public Health Nanny Statist:

    I am for allowing people to drink all the unpasteurized milk they want.

    As long as they put on disposable gloves before they touch anything that anyone else may touch.

    If they get sick, it is their business.

    If they transmit it, it is ours….

  49. Who here will go to the store buy milk and give it away on the corner. Ghandi made salt to protest the british. Will you give away milk and break the law? Libertarians like to talk but what are they doing about it.

    They will probably point out that three of your four sentences are questions but only one is endowed with a question mark.

  50. That does it Stevo Darkly.
    Consider one of those vicious Amish puppies sicced on you.

  51. That’s not funny — I was an Amish puppy! And whatever abuse the Amish gave out, it was nothing compared to my current owner…

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