Cheating Epidemic Causes Hospitalizations

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While American kids continue to toil with their provincial paper-based systems, China's test takers are apparently using cheat-friendly "earphones and wireless networks" to avoid the studying part of Chinese education (and presumably go straight to the rioting part). The state propaganda machine has stern, probably fictional, and highly bizarre words of warning for cheatin' Chinese:

The authority found that students racked their brains to figure out how to use various high-tech devices such as cell phones, interphones and wireless earphones to cheat. Some students were even injured by low quality devices.

According to Chutian Metropolis Daily, a student in Wuhan used a "microearphone" which is 3 mm in diameter to cheat. The earphone is so tiny that it slipped into the student's auditory canal, causing a perforation of the tympanic membrane.

Another student got a set of microearphones stuck in his ears and needed an operation to remove them.

An interphone hidden in a student's abdomen caused bleeding when it exploded.

Julian Sanchez asked whether capitalism breeds cheaters back in 2004.

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  1. An interphone hidden in a student’s abdomen caused bleeding when it exploded.

    What the heck’s an ‘interphone’? Is it a phone that sends sound though your intestines? Cause that would be pretty funny. Although not as funny as it blowing up inside some cheating Chinese student.

  2. The response in China to this sort of thing usually something along the lines of “we have many people and life is hard.” The cheating on tests is small time compared to the number of people who die every year in China from “cheating” in making fake medicines and food.

  3. Half of postdocs and phd students (the folks who do the real work) in science and engineering are foreign nationals, most of them Chinese. Cheating is a big deal, and it?s not just the Chinese; I see it happening in India, Korea, Southeast Asia, and so forth. The lab I work in expends significant resources to verify the veracity of candidates? CVs, aside from the issue of if, or not, the credentials were earned. It is a huge waste of money and time when an unqualified hire comes through. Although, we certainly get more unqualified folks through diversity building programs than we get from China. One ?diverse? graduate student was just dematriculated after two straight failing years. NIST (read you and me) paid a generous salary and tuition for a student who was unable to pass even the most modest of the requirements. Lame.

  4. Who’s always givin’ Strong Bad a hand?
    The Cheat, The Cheat.

    Who’s always messin’ up Homestar’s plans?
    The Cheat, The Cheat.

    Who’s gonna start a rock & roll band?
    The Cheat, The Cheat.

    Who’s {Homestar Talker voice} Making. Out. With. Marzipan.
    The Cheat, The Cheat.

    [The Cheat, The Cheat is in the house.]

    Who’s the man that looks like The Cheat?
    The Cheat, The Cheat.

    Who’s the one with the yellow feet?
    The Cheat, The Cheat.

    Who’s the dude that moves to the beat?
    The Cheat, The Cheat.

    Who’s the guy from 21 Jump Street?
    Not The Cheat, not The Cheat.

    The Cheat.
    The Cheat.

  5. pigwiggle-

    You’re in a chemistry department, right? I vaguely recall that.

    When I was applying to grad school, I heard legends of the Chinese GRE training program. I lived in fear of this program. Of course, once I got into grad school I ceased to care and so I never asked much about it.

  6. thoreau-

    It?s chemistry, but computational physical chemistry, so we are skewed even more than you might think. It seems like the folks in the wet labs are mostly Americans, where my lab is probably ~30 foreign nationals and only 6 americans.

    My boss and one of our former postdocs (now on tenure track in Boston) were discussing how to better recruit from China. The idea was that the postdoc who is Chinese would go to Beijing for a couple of weeks or a month and interview candidates and check credentials. So, I don?t think the cheating thing will really have a significant impact on the number of folks coming from China. There are many well-qualified folks there, and labs need them badly. Recruiting is just a bit dodgier so the labs will need to be more sophisticated about their screening. Maybe in the short run it will improve our job prospects, though.

  7. Reading about cheaters getting injured in the process of cheating made my freaking day!

  8. Those damn Vietnamese spammers are stealing our jobs! And collecting welfare!

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