Suck It To Me (NC-17 Edition)

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Sophocles long ago heard it on the Aegean, and it brought into his mind the turbid ebb and flow of two formerly exciting liberal publications clashing as on darkling plain about the dread meaning of the word/verb/gerund/whatever suck.

A while back at The New Republic's official blog, The Plank–the only 100 percent wooden blog on the World Wide Web–perpetually irony-challenged critic Lee Seigel inveighed in all caps AGAINST "SUCKS." Channeling National Review's John Derbyshire on the encroaching ubiquity of gays, Seigel asks,

Why do I read the word "sucks" everywhere I turn?

I see it used in online magazines with rising frequency. It's all over the Internet. It's the pejorative verb of the age. Let's be blunt about the word's origins: It's short for "sucks cock." (Forgive me. The situation requires it, and the context allows it.)…Considering how many times "sucks" is used in print, in conversation, and online now, the entire country is evoking the act of fellatio on a continuous basis….

Pardon the following intimacy, but performing oral sex has a lot to do with the unequal distribution of pleasure and power. It's more satisfying for the recipient than for the bestower. Without love or emotional connection, it usually makes the bestower an instrument of the recipient's will.

So saying someone or something "sucks" is not just an expression of contempt….When someone "sucks," they can't talk back. Isn't that the bully's and the tyrant's timeless dream, to move among people who can't talk back? It's certainly the dream of a child's fragile ego. It could be that we are surrounded by adults who have the fragile egos of children….

Whole thing here.

After he zips up, Seigel might want to ogle this recent bit by Village Voice "Lusty Lady" columnist (and erstwhile Reason pro-porn debating partner) Rachel Kramer Bussel:

I have a confession to make: I love sucking cock…. I recently spent a lazy Sunday morning going down on a new lover for over an hour. He enjoyed every minute, but couldn't come because of some medications he's taking. I was content to maximize my time figuring out what he liked, getting used to his unique shape and smell and taste. Even my sore jaw the next day was a mark of a job well done.

Granted, it's not that Seigel and Bussel don't have share any common ground:

The idea that a blowjob is a dirty, unsavory chore persists. For some women, they're used as an out when she doesn't want to have sex (or as household quid pro quo: "If you take out the garbage, I'll give you a bj")….

If I'm with a guy who really turns me on, the very thought of sucking his dick makes me wet. Doing it practically sends me into a tailspin, and I often touch myself while I'm going down. To me, there's something even more sensual and connected about swallowing someone's hard cock than fucking….

Trannyfag Kris McLowery also enjoys a full mouth. "When a lover asks, 'Wanna suck my cock?' I'm on my knees and touching myself," says thegenderqueer blogger, who's not submissive. "I love the control; I can make a lover plead, sing, giggle and twitch."…

Some people like to play up the power dynamics, getting off on kneeling before, worshipping, and servicing a guy's dick, while I just straight out go for it, no nudging needed. As embarrassing as that may be to admit (even for me), I'm glad I'm not alone.

Whole nine column inches here. As a disinterested–or is that uninterested?–observer, I hope that the apparently spent forces of liberalism, as represented by TNR and the Village Voice, attempt some sort of rapprochement in the near future.

Cathy Young peeked at "The Great Teen Fellatio Scare" in the May issue of Reason.

Full disclosure: Several members of Reason's staff–Tim Cavanaugh, Brian Doherty, and me–were affiliated with the late and lamented by some satiric Web site Suck, whose name remains something of a mystery to me.

NEXT: Marriage Doomed, Women and Heterosexuals Hardest Hit

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  1. I always thought Dylan’s “Tombstone Blues” from Highway 61 was about the subject in hand:

    Now the medicine man comes and he shuffles inside
    He walks with a swagger and he says to the bride
    Stop all this weeping, swallow your pride
    You will not die, it’s not poison

    Maybe I’ve just misinterpreted that lyric since childhood …

  2. Congratulations. With this post, you have probably just been added to the corporate filter. It’s been nice knowing you, one and all …

  3. I would think the New Republic would at least be pleased with the button that I wore as an adolescent during the 1979-80 hostage crisis: ‘Iran Sucks’

  4. Herrick?

    How’d you get Gillespie’s password?

  5. Would Seigel be shocked to know that both of the commonly bandied about terms “scum” and “dork” have roots in topics not suited for primetime?

  6. I don’t care enough to RTFA, but did anyone identify the nefarious role of Bart Simpson in all of this, oh, about 15 years ago?

  7. There are actually two degrees of sucking: sucking cock and sucking ass. Sucking ass is a more severe form of sucking. “Suck” alone is not necessarily short for “sucks cock.” I think it’s ambiguous.

  8. Congratulations. With this post, you have probably just been added to the corporate filter. It’s been nice knowing you, one and all …

    Yeah, SRSLY.

    I’m not easily offended (really — although my workplace internet filter may be), but is this newsworthy? I mean, this is maybe borderline culturally-related, but it’s really just one of those blogging-about-blogging posts, isn’t it.

  9. Dylan is – and always has been – a dirty old man. If the following lines from ‘On the Road Again’ aren’t about anal sex, I’m a monkey’s uncle:

    Well, I asked for something to eat
    I’m hungry as a hog
    So I get brown rice, seaweed
    And a dirty hot dog

    (I mean, how can you have an actual (as opposed to euphemistic) hot dog that’s dirty, since you usually have to boil ’em in order to prepare ’em? Especially since you’ve already boiled some water for the rice! I’m sorry, Bob must’ve just been feeling frisky that morning…)

    (And if I’m a monkey’s uncle, you’d better not pet my nephew – you’ll get a facefull of claws!)

  10. Seigel says:

    Let’s be blunt about the word’s origins: It’s short for “sucks cock.” (Forgive me. The situation requires it, and the context allows it.)…Considering how many times “sucks” is used in print, in conversation, and online now, the entire country is evoking the act of fellatio on a continuous basis….

    Now he may well believe this, just as he may believe that stepping on spiders causes it to rain, but it’s not at all clear that he has the etymology of the verb correct. Nor is it remotely the case that the etymology of a word is its correct meaning. A ‘villain’ isn’t one who lives in a nice house (although that’s where the word comes from), and when someone says ‘Windows sucks’ it is highly unlikely that they are evoking sexual practices even if that is where the verb comes from. Which it may not. The exact path the sense of the word took is still under discussion by linguists, but it is clear that the sense of ‘to be bad’ dates at least to the early seventies (according to the Oxford English Dictionary, who actually do the research on this stuff)
    But, as often the case with language ‘facts’ anybody can say anything they want, and, if it sounds plausible no data or evidence is required. Grrr.

  11. Lee Seigel sucks, SUCKS, and suxz.

  12. Would Seigel be shocked to know that both of the commonly bandied about terms “scum” and “dork” have roots in topics not suited for primetime?

    Nothing new here. AFAIK, the expression “getting the shaft” has been in common usage since at least the 30’s or 40’s.

    What does Seigel think the origin of that expression is?

  13. I’m not easily offended (really — although my workplace internet filter may be), but is this newsworthy? I mean, this is maybe borderline culturally-related, but it’s really just one of those blogging-about-blogging posts, isn’t it.

    No – it’s blogging about sucking dick.

    Nick, any posts about Deep-throating on the way?

  14. In the interests of fairness, are we going to have a discussion of dining and carpet-munching next?

  15. In the interests of fairness, are we going to have a discussion of diving and carpet-munching next?

  16. Nick, any posts about Deep-throating on the way?

    meh heh.

    Yeah, and can you link to some pix, too?

  17. Wow. This blog-entry gave me the biggest hard-on.

  18. Wow. This blog-entry gave me the biggest hard-on.

    Gee, and I’m sure that was completely unintentional on Rachel Kramer Bussel’s part.

  19. I second Geoff Nathan: “Grrr.”

    People who inveigh against usage/overusage/misusage of a word are guilty of wasting their own breath and all of our time. Hopefully that was only a blog, and he wasn’t wasting any ink and trees.

  20. Nothing new here. AFAIK, the expression “getting the shaft” has been in common usage since at least the 30’s or 40’s.

    What does Seigel think the origin of that expression is?

    He thinks it has something to do with elevators.

    And maybe it does.

  21. i thot it was for suck ass, an equally enjoyable, but more minority practice

    ive also thot that sucks was a wee bit homophobic, cause who sucks cocks but fags.

    i might be too sensitive on the latter

  22. Recycled early-70’s joke:

    Why did Nixon see Deep Throat seven times?

    Because he wanted to get it down Pat 🙂

  23. Let’s be blunt about the word’s origins: It’s short for “sucks cock.”
    Unless it’s short for something else, like “sucks hind tit”.

    The interesting thing about ‘sucks’, is how ‘sucks’ and ‘blows’ are simultaneously synonyms and antonyms (is there a word for that?)

    And then there’s these words to live by:
    Erin: You like to hang out too?
    Lisa: Well, it beats doing stuff.
    Erin: Yeah. Stuff sucks.

  24. I dunno about you, but seeing Full Disclosure at the end of that post gave me real pause about what was, er, coming next.

  25. I see it used in online magazines with rising frequency. It’s all over the Internet. It’s the pejorative verb of the age. Let’s be blunt about the word’s origins: It’s short for “sucks cock.”

    I take issue with the etymology. The word goes all the way back to Indo-European. As idiom goes, just from memory, I learned it as a derviation of “sucks rotten eggs”, an easy jump from “Last one there is a rotten egg.” Even the blunt origins are off–if it’s short for anything, it’s short for “sucks donkey dicks.”

  26. The interesting thing about ‘sucks’, is how ‘sucks’ and ‘blows’ are simultaneously synonyms and antonyms (is there a word for that?)

    Ground well covered by Spaceballs..

    (And, FWIW, I found this to be at least as relevant as the all-Barry Manilow radio station, as far as reason cultural blogging goes.)

  27. Back to Mrs. Bussel’s point. I see common ground between traditionalists and sex-positive freaks. It is a wife’s obligation to satisfy her husband with oral sex. The idea that it is submissive or gross is just one more way the gender feminists managed to ruin both marriage and sex.

  28. I second the person who seconded Geoff Nathan: “Grrr.”

    I’m with the ‘sucks hind tit’ interpretation. Drop the homophobia and join the twenty-first century.

  29. It is a wife’s obligation to satisfy her husband with oral sex.

    Does the husband have a similar obligation?

  30. It is a wife’s obligation to satisfy her husband with oral sex.

    I think she was suggesting that as a similarity between traditionalists and sex-positive freaks, rather than advocating that postition herself.

    I could be wrong, of course, in which case, after getting to know her a little better, I’d like to make a proposal.

  31. Does the husband have a similar obligation?

    Of course. It is the husband’s obligation to allow his wife to satisfy him with oral sex. 😉

  32. Considering how many times “sucks” is used in print, in conversation, and online now, the entire country is evoking the act of fellatio on a continuous basis….

    Timely critique indeed. The word suck has been used this way for well nigh 25 years now.

  33. Brian Courts,

    I don’t know why, but that last comment got my keyboard covered in viscous, sticky fluid.

  34. I mean, because I laughed really hard, and you know how mucus comes out of your nose and stuff… heh heh…

  35. Man, if you guys got me in trouble at work ’cause I looked at your naughty post by accident earlier today, I swear…. 😉 While I love the dirty ones like the next person, give us a warning, hey, so we can read at home not at work!

  36. Does the husband have a similar obligation?

    I hope not. I tried it and really threw out my back. I need to either get more flexible or get extension surgery.

    I now have more sympathy for my wife.

  37. “I didn’t it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows.”

  38. All I know is, I ain’t paying for no blow jobs for illegal aliens, I don’t give a fuck what you libertarians say!

  39. Cool story bro.

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