John Basedow: Terrorist

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Spiked Online's Brendan O'Neill, who frequently excogitates on the unexpected subplots of the al Qaeda culture for Reason, examines the report on the London tube bombings and discovers another link among the 9/11, 3/11, and 7/7 attackers. No, it's not that "seven" and "eleven" rhyme with "heaven." It's the terror cells' members' "immersion in gym culture." Did the fitness fanatics find something congenial in "today's preening and narcissistic gym culture that either nurtures terrorists or massages their self-delusions and desires?" After all, unlike a mosque, which emphasizes relationships with others, the gym "allows individuals to focus myopically on themselves. Perhaps it was there, among the weightlifting and rowing machines, that these Western-based terror cells really set their course."

Perhaps the ringleaders of 9/11, like one of the prime suspects in Madrid and three of the four 7/7 bombers, had a penchant for healthy living. Certainly Atta seemed to be obsessed with bodily appearance. He advised his team of hijackers to shave off their pubic hair and to douse themselves in cologne the night before the attacks, to ready themselves for arrival in paradise. Islamic scholars have pointed out that these stipulations have little grounding in Quranic law. But they do reflect our keep-fit age. Bodybuilders, among others, are known to shave off their body hair in order to make the contours of their bodies look more impressive.

Today's gym culture seems like the perfect vehicle for nurturing the combination of narcissism and loathing of the masses necessary to carry out a terrorist suicide mission. If some of these attackers viewed their own bodies as pure instruments, and everyone else as wasteful and deserving of punishment, they could just as well have come to that conclusion through absorbing the healthy-living agenda of the gym as by reading the Quran. At the gym, Atta, Khan, and the others could focus on perfecting the self, the body, as a pure and righteous thing—and hone their disdain for others.

Whole story here.

John Basedow, whose abs are registered as lethal weapons by the FBI, keeps fitness simple here.

Long and tiresome Mary Worth plot about a fat husband and wife whose marriage is on the rocks over the wife's desire to get in shape begins its windup here.

NEXT: They Have to Be Wrong, Even When I Agree With Them

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  1. Yeah, then why did they have to blow something up? Couldn’t they have just become the Govenors of California instead?

  2. So 9/11 was an example of ‘roid rage?

  3. so, by extension, being out of shape is opposing terrorism?

    pass me the Hostess cupcakes. all of them.

  4. Aha! I knew that Carpet-humping Guy was running a terrorist training camp.

  5. Finally, a chance to post lyrics from my favorite devil-worshipping Swedish metal band.

    Flexing muscles
    All pumped up
    I’m showing off
    Testosterone

    Male masculine icon
    Athletic godlike clone

    Oiled skin shinning
    I enjoy what I see
    Greek god superman
    Full of testosterone

    Male masculine icon
    Athletic godlike clone

    My system is full of steroids
    I don’t care if it fucks with my head
    Growing harder as I watch myself
    Jerking off while flexing

    My body is perfect and pure strength
    Blood pumping hard in my veins
    How easy it could be
    To smash your head in with a single blow

    I’m gods gift to women
    The ideal of man
    I’m building perfection
    You envy the way I am

  6. Ah fuck. First, my individualism makes me a racist. Now, it makes me a terrorist. What’s next?

    [off-topik]

    I just recieved Maddox’s “The Alphabet of Manliness” in the mail. If you haven’t ordered it, do so now. And lest you doubt me, observe: 3 pages in, and there’s already a step-by-step guide to cock-punching.

    Like I said.

    [/off-topik]

  7. I hereby move to prohibit the posting of entire poems/song-lyrics in the comments section.

  8. I hereby move to prohibit prohibitions in the comments section.

  9. I hereby move my boot to kick you in the balls.

  10. It took until comment 4 for a CHG joke. I’m so disappointed. I’m actually moer disappointed the subject heading wasn’t, “Master your bodyweight. Kill Infidels!”

  11. It seems a stretch. To rope in Atta, they conflate shaving your pulic hair and dousing yourself in cologne to working out. That seems more cleanliness-obsessed than narcissistic to me.

  12. Other Mark,

    Was that the song that won the Eurovision song contest?

    I hereby move to prohibit myself. When was the last time I added anything useful to a discussion? Have I ever?

  13. Terrorists are bad; especially the buff ones. Someone should move to prohibit them.

  14. Was that the song that won the Eurovision song contest?

    Nah, that was a song called “Hard Rock Haleluja” by Lordi. My song is “Flexing Muscles” by Entombed. They’re much more metaly than Lordi. Listening to them causes your ears to bleed and your guardian angel to weep.

    When was the last time I added anything useful to a discussion?

    Bah. That shit’s for fags.

  15. John Basedow, whose abs are registered as lethal weapons by the FBI

    Jack Bauer’s hacksaw is banned under international arms control agreements.

    A credit card company asked Jack Bauer to do an ad. It went like this:

    Electric power cord: $5
    Hacksaw: $30
    German-engineered handgun: $700
    Using all 3 on the same suspect in less than an hour: Priceless.

    There are some problems that money can solve. For everything else there’s Jack Bauer.

  16. At least Mary Worth isn’t as big a bitch as Dr. Laura!

  17. Speaking of Jack Bauer, what’s that faggy shit that Keifer Sutherland is spouting out on that new hockey commercial? I don’t give a shit if Jack Bauer is endorsing your worthless sport—it’s still boring as a bucketful of dirt.

  18. Correction, Evan. Hockey is boring now, but it wasn’t boring when my team won it all 🙂 In fact, the Lightning are still the reigning champions and will remain so if the NHL ceases to exist in the next few days. Not an impossibility, mind you.

    Hey, I quit working out at the gym a few years ago in favor of working out at home (with yon NordicTrack and free weights). Should I turn myself in, or am I okay?

  19. Hockey is not a good TV sport. No better sport to watch live, however. And the NHL is the Libertarian Party of Professional Sports Leagues.

  20. presumably Atta shaved his pubes and perfumed himself to prepare to meet all those virgins martyrs get as a reward

  21. Hockey is not a good TV sport.

    An awful lot of Canadians might beg to differ. Back in the day CBC’s Hockey Night in Canada was the highest rated TV show in North America, if I remember rightly.

  22. This reminds me a little of Yukio Mishima, the homosexual Japanese author who committed ritual suicide back around 1970 because modern Japan wasn’t living up to his ultra-nationalistic ideals.

  23. “Hockey is not a good TV sport.

    An awful lot of Canadians might beg to differ. Back in the day CBC’s Hockey Night in Canada was the highest rated TV show in North America, if I remember rightly.

    Comment by: Isaac Bartram at June 1, 2006 05:26 PM”

    and that’s why doggie style was invented – so both could watch the hockey, eh.

  24. You guys keep talking shit about hockey and I’ll have to pull your shirts over your heads and beat the crap outta you! 🙂

    (I don’t mind it if you don’t like hockey, I’ll just beat down some guys when I play it later tonight.)

  25. After all, unlike a mosque, which emphasizes relationships with others, the gym “allows individuals to focus myopically on themselves. Perhaps it was there, among the weightlifting and rowing machines, that these Western-based terror cells really set their course.”

    No.

    I can’t even say “nice try.” This is just a stupid, stupid, assinine, stupid, retarded ass, half baked, piece of shit sliver of thought that, had it been pondered more than half a second, would never have been developed into anything resembling a thesis.

    Then there’s Reason…. linking to it.

    Why?

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