Kennedy Korner

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A conservative group called Public Advocate set up some sobriety checkpoints last weekend:

Checkpoints on Capitol Hill in Washington to protect citizens against Senator Edward "Ted" Kennedy (D-Ma.) or Congressman Patrick Kennedy (D-R.I.) resulted in no impaired drivers named Congressman or Senator Kennedy being stopped this weekend.

"Citizen volunteers have responded to the call and we have erected checkpoints at several intersections to prevent any Kennedy from driving in an impaired manner on Capitol Hill," said Public Advocate President Eugene Delgaudio. "We selected the long Memorial Day weekend due to the increased potential for a repeat of earlier car accidents."….

Public Advocate designed the checkpoints to raise public awareness and to discourage impaired driving by Senator Ted Kennedy or Congressman Patrick Kennedy. The ultimate goal is to ensure the roads are safe for all motorists by achieving voluntary compliance of the drinking and driving laws by all Kennedys in Congress.

According to the same press release, Public Advocate "has been fighting for the American family for over 25 years." And what does an elaborate Kennedy joke have to do with fighting for the family? Nothing, of course, but that's true of most of what they do, so you can't say it's out of character.

Meanwhile, Clark Stooksbury quotes a funnier Kennedy joke, from the late Eugene McCarthy:

Jack used to tell you lies. Bobby told lies about you. And Teddy lies about himself. Now, is there a moral progression here of any kind?

NEXT: "The Fumbling Hand of Man"

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  1. As an person of Irish decent, I find this action offensive and indecent! Where that ACLU phone number?

    *frantically flips through rolodex*

  2. There’s some Kennedys somewhere back in my family tree, so I get to be outraged at this slander of my drunken mick bretheren. Outraged, I say!

  3. I thought Orrin Hatch had gotten his pal Teddy to quit drinking a few years ago.

  4. The Ted Kennedy on the wagon story has been all over the map, but my sense is that following Hatch’s advice, Ted cut out the hard stuff and social drinking, though he still has table wine with meals. And more power to him if that works.

  5. And what does an elaborate Kennedy joke have to do with fighting for the family?

    well… one of them works in massachussetts, where that known homosexual barney frank works, and homosexuals are anti-family, and their website has lots of red, white, and blue, and…

  6. Ways to enrage your late-boomer parents:

    1) Insist that the only reason JFK remains famous is Lee Harvey Oswald.

    2) Refer to Ted as a “murderer” and/or “The Brother Who Wasn’t Talented Enough To Bother Shooting”.

    (Reposted to correct thread)

  7. And what does an elaborate Kennedy joke have to do with fighting for the family?

    Keeping drunk Kennedys off the road increases your family’s safety every time they need to drive somewhere in the BosWash corridor?

  8. Timothy: The Nose ran a funny list of ways to annoy baby boomers, way back when. Number one was, “Keep calling JFK ‘that playboy who got us into Vietnam.'”

  9. following Hatch’s advice, Ted cut out the hard stuff and social drinking, though he still has table wine with meals.

    Well, I realize that Orrin’s influence stopped far short of converting Teddy to Mormonism. But, I think what actually impressed (and slightly amused) me more was that in spite of their manifest public differences they actually have a genuine friendship.

  10. Being anti-Kennedy has a lot to do with the family… as the Kennedy clan as killed a couple young girls, and raped a couple more.

    Apparently, the Kennedies are politically all for helping the little guy… unless, of course, the little guy is being killed by a drunk driving Kennedy, or being raped by a Kennedy… in which case have vast amounts of unearned wealth should have certain privledges.

  11. Jesse Walker

    Well, this is one boomer that finds that funny. And true.

  12. I’m no fan of the Kennedys and I look forward to their final disappearance from American politics, but I do wonder where all the Republican outrage was over Rep. Bill Janklow only being sentenced to 100 days in county jail for killing a motorist in a drunk driving accident: http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/01/22/janklow.sentencing/

    (It may be added that Janklow had 12 prior traffic citations before killing the motorist, most of them for speeding: http://www.argusleader.com/specialsections/2003/janklowaccident/Tuesdayarticle2.shtml )

  13. (Late night phone call)

    Ted: Era – Hello.

    Patrick: Uncle Ted I was in a wreck.

    Ted: Era – Did you get the whore out of the car?

    Patrick: There was no whore. I just hit a tree.

    Ted: Era – No whore? What are you? A fag?

  14. nothing saps the joy from a good chappaquiddick joke better than when it’s obviously in service of some partisan wingnuttery.

  15. Can’t we have one topic that doesn’t end with someone digging up a corpse?

  16. There’s nothing like the Kennedys to keep the low brow moronic stupid pathetic Right entertained and distracted.

    JMJ

  17. SR,

    That link you posted doesn’t say anything about drunk driving. I don’t remember alcohol ever being a factor in that crash from what I read about it.

  18. Is it true that “Ted Kennedy” is Gaelic for “Emmanouel Goldstein?”

    Back to work, plebes. Two minute hate is over.

  19. Aww, I think Joe’s getting upset about the picking on Democrats thing.

    How bout for lunch, we pick you up a Wah-burger and some French Cries.

  20. “I’m going to bring them something man has searched for since the dawn of time.”
    “A sober Irishman?”
    “Even rarer…”

  21. I couldn’t let this pass without offering my favorite Kennedy joke. Do you know the real reason Maria Shriver married Arnold Schwarzenegger? They’re trying to breed a bulletproof Kennedy.

    An old joke, but still funny to those over 50.

  22. “That link you posted doesn’t say anything about drunk driving.”

    I’m sorry, you’re correct; I conflated two different issues. Janklow was apparently sober at the time of the accident. The drunk driving issue was that while Janklow was governor he secretly pardoned his own son-in-law for two drunk driving convictions: https://www-auth.cs.wisc.edu/lists/vfr/2004-May/msg00017.shtml . However, the fact that Janklow was sober doesn’t actually change the relevant facts — he had a long history of questionable driving practices and eventually killed someone after he blew through a stopsign at 16 mph over the speed limit, and yet somehow I can’t recall any of the people who are routinely apoplectic about Ted Kennedy’s driving record expressing any similar sentiment with regard to Janklow.

  23. Between the two of them, George and Laura Bush have as many road fatalities, and more drunk driving arrests, than Ted Kennedy and both his wives put together.

  24. It seems as though this group should also be looking for the dangerous drivers known as George W. Bush, Laura Bush, and Dick Cheney.

  25. Shoot, joe beat me to it!

  26. Dan T, joe,

    True, but none of them are bulbous nosed Irish politicians so the jokes just aren’t as funny.

  27. Two-minute hate = lame Kennedy jokes?
    Uh, yeah… you’re cool.

  28. Somebody should tell Public Advocate to leave the funny stuff to The Onion

  29. Can we stop picking on the Kennedys and stick to jokes about the Pope and Jesus?

  30. Between the two of them, George and Laura Bush have as many road fatalities, and more drunk driving arrests, than Ted Kennedy and both his wives put together. – joe

    Real classy, joe. The 17-year-old Laura was the driver at fault in a accident that killed another driver, a fellow student at her high school. See:
    http://www.snopes.com/politics/bush/laura.asp

    Many of us have done something as heedless as minors, but didn’t have the poor fortune to have fatal consequences attach to our actions.

    The Kennedys in question were all adults, though, weren’t they?

    Kevin

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