American Politics in 12 Words

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From Wall Street Poet:

American politics in sum:

Republican ideas are dumb;

And Democrats have none.

More here. Not quite Wm. Carlos Williams' red wheelbarrow or Carl Sandburg's fog, but any poem that short has got to have some merit.

NEXT: Hog Butcher to the World—and Protector of Ducks' Sensitive Gullets and Oh-So-Tasty Livers

Nick Gillespie is an editor at large at Reason.

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  1. And that goes along with H.L. Mencken’s definition of a demagogue: “one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.”

  2. These are better as either Haiku:

    Americans think
    Republican ideas dumb
    Democrats have none

    Or Lymrick:

    To the American mind
    Republicans are wrong all the time
    But while this may be true
    They are dumber than you
    Democrats seem to be blind

  3. Rick Barton

    Hold on! The Democrat’s idea to raise taxes on the oil company profits as a “solution” to high gas prices is incredibly dumb.

  4. D.A. Ridgely

    “Reflections on Power-Grabbing” by Ogden Bush

    War
    Is a chore;
    Disaster
    Is faster.

  5. Yuri

    I have always believed that it is the other way around. Democratic ideas are dumb; Republicans have no ideas at all. (The gibberish they spout is not intelligent enough to be considered “ideas”.)

  6. Jamie Kelly

    More poli haiku:

    “Thieving clowns gather
    Not with firearms but by vote
    Robbing minds, wallets”

  7. john

    Best description of American Congress comes from Lewis Black.
    After describing the “Republicans have bad ideas/Democrats have none” he explains Congress as working like this:
    “A Republican stands up in Congress and says “I’ve got a really bad idea!”
    And then a Democrat stands up and says, ” I can make it shittier!”

  8. joli

    My favorite:

    One party has alot of bad ideas on how to help you, and the other party has alot of good ideas on how to screw you.

  9. Rickey Ramone

    Kinda tangential but here’s Trees by Neil Peart-Sung by Rush.

    There is unrest in the forest
    There is trouble with the trees
    For the maples want more sunligh
    And the oaks ignore their pleas

    The trouble with the maples
    (and they?re quite convinced they?re right)
    They say the oaks are just too lofty
    And they grab up all the light
    But the oaks can?t help their feelings
    If they like the way they?re made
    And they wonder why the maples
    Can?t be happy in their shade?

    There is trouble in the forest
    And the creatures all have fled
    As the maples scream `oppression!`
    And the oaks, just shake their heads

    So the maples formed a union
    And demanded equal rights
    ?the oaks are just too greedy
    We will make them give us light?
    Now there?s no more oak oppression
    For they passed a noble law
    And the trees are all kept equal
    By hatchet,
    Axe,
    And saw …

  10. Rick Barton

    Oops, that was me. I posted it from my other computer where I had my Friday Fun Link screen name on.

  11. Conservatives and liberals
    Each stick to their guns:
    The Repugs abuse the old notions,
    The ‘Crats abuse us with newer ones.

  12. I would hope Hit & Run would not cheer a poem that leaves out third parties entirely.

    It makes no mention of what Americans think about Bernie Sanders or the Libertarians.

    It must be “Bring A CNN Anchor to Work and let them write posts” day at Hit & Run.

  13. Chuck Norris

    Libertarians
    Americans don’t think about:
    A perfect record

  14. Rick Barton

    For president I always vote libertarian
    And on this matter there can be no neutrality
    as I definitely don’t want to be contrarian
    should the nation have a fit of rationality

  15. Ron

    Rick:

    Taking a fuctioning country, one of the most successful democracies in the world, and turning it over to a bunch of doctrinaire ideologues who think and speak in simplistic platitudes and slogans would be a “fit of rationality”? It would be a fit of rationality if you all grew up and spent your time doing something prodcutive.

  16. Rick Barton

    Ron,

    The evidence is that the success we have enjoyed has been in proportion to our fealty to the libertarian principles of the “doctrinaire ideologues” who founded our republic.

    …if you all grew up and spent your time doing something productive.

    What? You don’t think my poem was productive?

  17. Rick Barton

    Ron:

    …who think and speak in simplistic platitudes and slogans

    You don’t sound like you’ve done much reading of, or had much discourse with, libertarians.

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