Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want To Get Off…


Reader Bill "NoStar" Kalles writes in with this terrible tale pulled straight from the headlines of Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. Or maybe Battle for the Planet of the Apes. Or Rent Strike on the Planet of the Apes. Or now that I think about it, maybe this is delivering on the promise inherent in Every Which Way But Loose and Any Which Way You Can, in which Dr. Zaius's forefather pals around with Clint Eastwood and Jeffrey Lewis and Ruth Gordon, fighting crime and bare-knuckling boxing like a motherfucka. Look closely in the eyes of "Clyde" the orangutan and you'll see nothing but the white hot rage of a patient captive biding his time before unleashing the terrifying swift sword of righteousness against even pro-primate humans.

In any case, here you go:

Police hunt killer chimps

FREETOWN (Reuters) - Armed Sierra Leonean police are hunting up to 20 chimpanzees which killed a local taxi driver and injured three American visitors after they broke out of a wildlife sanctuary, officials said on Tuesday.

The Tacugama Chimpanzee Sanctuary in forested hills outside the Sierra Leonean capital Freetown where the incident happened, has been closed since Sunday's attack by the screaming and excited apes, which mobbed and mauled the four men.

"Some people had turned up at the gate before normal opening time, and before staff could react, they realized somebody was being attacked," the sanctuary's director, Bala Amarasekaran told Reuters.

The animals killed local taxi driver Issa Kanu and bit and mauled three U.S. employees of a construction company helping to build the new U.S. embassy in Freetown….

Whole evolution-gone-wrong spectacle here.

Not-to-be-missed tribute to Flash nemesis Gorilla Grodd, the Prof. Moriarity of Great Ape Bad Guys, here.