Friday Fun Link

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The group brain at Fark has asked itself what products Apple will create in its next 30 years of marketing madness. The resulting Photoshops are all too convincing.

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  1. I don’t think Apple’s nearly as innovative as people think. Jobs ripped the idea for GUIs from Xerox Park, and we all know where he got the idea for the Newton:

    Rand / Trek

  2. SmokingPenguin:

    Terribly innovative? Not really. Extremely effective at commercializing other people’s developments and doing so with a great deal of quality? Certainly. After getting a G4 PowerBook with OS X, I can never go back to PC/Windows…

    Since Jobs came back to Apple, I think they’ve been working on a 10-year plan to regain a serious share of the computer market. It runs something like this:

    Stage 1: Develop a “sexy” product that puts excitement back into the Mac line (iMacs, Titanium PowerBooks, G4 Cube)

    Stage 2: Develop “gateway” products that get people hooked on the brand (Newton was kind of a failed attempt at this; the iPod and iTunes were great successes, not to mention huge moneymakers)

    Stage 3: Develop an OS that is better than Windows in nearly every capacity (OS X)

    Stage 4: Make said OS and all company systems compatible with with Wintel architecture (currently in progress)

    Stage 5: Release an OS that is fully compatible with Windows software, only twice as efficient, ten times as secure, much more aesthetically pleasing, and filled with features that Microsoft hasn’t even considered loading- at the same price- and watch MS’s market share fall like a rock. (Hypothetical OS 11/XI)

    It makes sense to me…

  3. My favourite:

    IBrator slogan

    “Now You’ll Have INTEL Inside”

    Priceless!

  4. Postmodern Sleaze: They definitely make some good stuff. I’m wishing I would have gone Mac after dealing with a very expensive Dell that falls a bit short of expectations.

    I also love the fact that they’re out there, as it destroys the ‘monopoly’ argument against Wintel, or it used to, anyway.

    But the main point of my post was the joke about Gene Roddenberry actually inventing the Newton. I’ve thought about that thing on Star Trek ever since I saw the first Newton back in the early nineties. Also, Grace Lee Whitney.

  5. I dunno about technology, but they’re a brilliant retailer. They’ve managed to avoid becoming another commodity box maker like Dell.

  6. martin – I concur. I also liked the “Fleetwood Mac mini”, as I think it was the only ‘product’ that didn’t start with “i”

  7. That junk was like an amateur-hour version of a Worth1000 Pshop contest. I saw one or two that were well done. The rest looked like some lazy fuck took ten minutes out of his meaningless existence to open up an image in MSPaint and splatter some crap on it. Woo. Fucking. Hoo. You guys wants to sees some crazy mad pshop skills, check out sommadem worth1000 contests. Yes, there’s still crap, but the ratio of crap to amazing shit is quite low. One of my favs was the MC Escher contest. I just saw the recent “poorly-designed products that never made it to market” contest, and that shit was hilarious. Magic 8-ball Pregnancy Tester. Ha!

    Oh, no, no, though…”iGloo”…now THAT is some funny shit!

    Ugh. Come on, Jeff. Worth1000 has great stuff every week, stuff with real talent and real comic value. But Fark does it once, and it’s lackluster, and that’s your fridayfunlink? Pssshhhht.

  8. Terribly innovative? Not really. Extremely effective at commercializing other people’s developments and doing so with a great deal of quality?

    And it is for this reason alone that Jobs, like Edison, will be truly remembered. Yeah, Jobs/Wozniak developed the Apple I like Edison developed the lightbulb but beyond that all either one has done is take an idea that was mostly-fleshed but not pretty and run with it.

    Xerox had no clue what to do with the mouse but Jobs saw the potential. Concerning the iMac, Jobs could have said, “Build me a computer.” What he said instead was, “Build me a computer that doesn’t look like a computer.” Minor? Sure, but it made the difference between a PC “box” and the now classic look of the first iMacs. It is what differentiated Apple from every other machine out there and spurred look alike appliances all over the place (I miss iBrator.com).

    MP3 players have been around for years (Diamond Rio back in 1995 if I remember right). Music has been available on the Internet for almost as long. All Apple did was take the two, make them fully compatable, market to both the music producers and the end market, and make a killing with the results.

  9. I thought the first iMac was ugly. But I just bought my first Mac a month ago and I love it. Which is kind of weird cos I’m a Windows programmer at work.

    As for the iPod… I went thru 2 Archos machines and 1 other machine whose name I forgot – all of which were junk (i.e. did not work) and finally got a Rio Riot, which worked pretty well until it crapped out after about a year. I thought the iPod was just too damn expensive–and trendy–but I finally broke down a bought one and have been a happy customer since. The thing just works–better than any other machine.

  10. Hmmm, the iBrator is gone from the Fark page.

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