Kill a Christian, Spare a Rooster

|

The BBC reports:

A cockerel in the Central Asian republic of Kyrgyzstan has saved itself from the pot after crowing what its owner claimed was "Allah", the Arabic word for God….Mr Ismatullayev has said that as he put the knife to the cockerel's neck, the bird "screamed" and, on hearing this, his five-year-old son said "dad, it's saying 'Allah, Allah'."

In an intriguing reversal of the Abdul Rahman case, Aslan appears to have gone Muslim as well:

Firdevs Robinson, editor of the BBC's Central Asian service…told BBC World Service's Reporting Religion programme that a lion in Azerbaijan was said to have roared the word "Allah" every time the call to prayer was issued.

"People started queuing up outside the zoo, and it went on for a long while" she added.

The lion was beheaded, however, after someone noticed the Virgin Mary lurking in his mane.

Hear the cock crow here.

NEXT: Arresting Development

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. So, um, exactly how can you avoid calling all these nutjobs what they really are: batshit insane.

    It’s no worse than the virgin-mary-in-the-overpass-drainage-stain or virgin-mary-in-the-window-fog or jesus-in-the-tree-bark. All these motherfuckers are batshit insane.

  2. If I’m taken hostage and say “Allah”, do I get released with an apology? Wow, that beats my old plan of saying, “But I’m Canadian, eh?”

  3. Pardon me if I am mistaken, but didn’t Nick Berg also say “Allah” as his head was being sawed off? Or was it more like “Ahhggkklaaahhh!”?

  4. That’s not even close to funny, Ed.

  5. All these motherfuckers are batshit insane.
    The universal psychosis; take a look at the other links on the story’s page:

    Tropical fish ‘has Allah marking’
    ‘Virgin Mary’ toast fetches $28,000
    Woman ‘blessed by the holy toast’
    ‘Christ-like’ shell to go on sale

  6. Evan: Your language is unnecessarily crude. People who display superstitions and behavior scuh as these are delusional but should not be made fun of, just pitied. Other than that quibbling, I have to agree.

  7. Make that “such as these”

  8. So far today.
    An image of Jesus appeared to me in the cavitated foam of my shaving cream.
    My morning can of iced expresso said “Yahweh!” as I opened it.
    The edge of my eggs were a perfect representation of the west bank of the Sea of Galilee.
    A homeless guy danced up to me wearing the funky jumpsuit worn by Judas at the end of Jesus Christ Superstar.
    The ticking of my work computer harddrive booting up tapped out the first four lins of the Lord’s Prayer in Morse code.
    While changing a toner cartridge I got an inkstain on my hand that resembled Jeffrey Hunter. Unfortunately it was Hunter as Capt. Christopher Pike, and not Jesus. So it may not count.

  9. Here come the rooster,
    You know he ain’t gonna die.

  10. should not be made fun of, just pitied

    When zealots cease their tendancy to support the imposition of their zealtory via force and sometimes terrorism, I’ll consider converting from contempt to pity.

  11. Evan: agreed. those quibblefux who line up to the our lady of the underpass (slightly better known than the “our lady of the useless miracle” of naked gun) aren’t very much different in the eyes of this citizen than any other sheeple group that will froth up and go and do someone’s (potentially violent) bidding without thinking.

    but – we could get this rooster to mate and maybe some of the offspring will have those talents, too – then we could sell ’em to hooters. and hooters air could be revived!

    bringing it all full circle.

  12. These people are fucking idiots.

    May I just share my pleasure with everyone. My boss just took me out for lunch and we consumed one bottle of red (Chateau neuf) and a large bottle of port.

    Fucking superb. I am now in an excellent frame of mind to deal with any religious book-licking morons!

  13. Click on the ram file. It really does sound like the bird’s saying “Allah.”

  14. Tim Cavanaugh-I thought the same thing. You have to remember, though, that when you listen to the clip, you’re expecting to hear “Allah.” We’re pattern seeking animals, and that tendency is even stronger when we already know what pattern we expect to find.

    Of course, it could be a magic chicken.

  15. And the daughter observed the hen in the next cage rolling her eyes and saying, “Oh my God. I can’t believe that worked!”

  16. How did they get a RAM file of the cock crowing right before it was about to be slaughtered? Was this staged or something?

  17. I don’t know about y’all, but now that we know that chickens are all Muslim, I think the FBI needs to increase its vigilance over this new poultry menace.

    Bird flu: Natural or bioterrorist threat?

  18. “How did they get a RAM file of the cock crowing right before it was about to be slaughtered? Was this staged or something?”

    The article says they recorded it on a mobile phone after the boy stopped his father.

  19. I’m probably just maladjusted, but upon reading that headline, my mental hold music immediately became “Terror Couple Kill Colonel” by Bauhaus.

  20. It really does sound like the bird’s saying “Allah.”

    I thought it sounded more like “Holla. Holla. Holla back.” I think the little cock was trying to rap. Maybe Borat can get an exclusive interview.

  21. “The article says they recorded it on a mobile phone after the boy stopped his father.”

    So they used western-developed, 21st century technology to spread their idiotic, primitivistic awe over a rooster crowing.

    I’d like to find ironic humor in all of that, but all I can do is muster a vague feeling of mild disgust.

  22. I wish people would get it through their heads that animals can’t talk.

    Oh, this was a miracle. I get it!

    Also, I have seen the Virgin Mary under I-94 at Fullerton. Totally on a fluke, I was walking there and suddenly I noticed a weird underpass shrine. Felt like I was in bizarro-world.

  23. Linguist:

    i really hope you were driving… 🙂 (i’ve always disliked getting on the kennedy there – reminds me too much of heading up to waukegan for another day in hell (hrumph)

    “I’d like to find ironic humor in all of that, but all I can do is muster a vague feeling of mild disgust.”
    might i suggest start drinking a little earlier today?

  24. Burger King needs to get ahold of that bird for it’s Big Buckin’ Chicken ad campaign.

    If not, I want to get it to try out my Coq au Vin recipe. That’s gotta be a hella tasty bird.

  25. If not, I want to get it to try out my Coq au Vin recipe. That’s gotta be a hella tasty bird

    It’s sacrilicious.

  26. Interesting coincidence. I happen to scream “Cock! Cock!” whilst I rain sacred fire of vengeance upon the children of the infidels. Go figure.

    Death to all non-believers. Die.

    Oh, and have a nice weekend. The spring weather is gorgeous.

  27. Jeff P sez: “A homeless guy danced up to me wearing the funky jumpsuit worn by Judas at the end of Jesus Christ Superstar.”

    There’s a homeless guy in downtown Juneau AK who, my girlfriend has decided, played Judas on Broadway. He knows all the songs, has a great voice, looks just like the guy… COINCIDENCE???

  28. “Mr Ismatullayev has said that as he put the knife to the cockerel’s neck, the bird “screamed” and, on hearing this, his five-year-old son said “dad, it’s saying ‘Allah, Allah’.””

    I wonder what noise the cock would’ve made if the guy choked the chicken.

  29. linguist, I accidentally saw the Mary on the Glass Building? while driving through Clearwater. Weird. In any case, it’s gone now, destroyed by some infidel kid.

    Could the chicken have been saying, “Hola”? Maybe it speaks Spanish.

  30. PL:

    I think it sounds more like “Holla!”

    Aren’t the kids yelling that word a lot?

  31. Okay, I have finally listened to the recording. Not satisfied to just hear it forwards, I played it backwards as well. In the backwards message, I clearly heard the following: “Paul is dead”.

    Now what on earth could that mean?

  32. Donald Duck has converted!

  33. “might i suggest start drinking a little earlier today?”

    Oddly enough, my boss and I were just talking about doing exactly this…

  34. Bitch, nobody kills the motherfuckin’ rooster. You know what I’m sayin’?

  35. I think maybe the dad just didn’t want to give his son the horror of thinking that his sacriligeous father killed “The Cock of the Prophet (peace be upon him)”

    🙂

  36. Here come the rooster,
    You know he ain’t gonna die.

    Alice in Chains. Sweet…

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.