Mitt Romney Is Ron Popeil

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Over at To the People–and after seeing Mitt R. live and in-person, Baylen Linnekin makes the case that the Massachusetts governor and presidential hopeful is in fact America's No. 1 pitchman:

I was stunned by how he uncannily resembles a slightly younger Ron Popeil, inventor extraordinaire.

And that's even before we consider the fact that both:

*are wealthy capitalists who could sell water to the ocean;

*are captivating speakers;

*don't sell anything I or anyone I know is buying, yet are somehow hugely succesful pitch men at the same time;…

*used to have fewer and grayer hair on their heads than they do now (maybe it's the spray-on hair?)

More here.

And one question: Has Romney ever made chocolate pasta, which Ron Popeil proclaimed a "great dessert pasta" in his beguiling pasta maker infomercial?

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  1. Dude, that spray-on hair was the bomb. You could make a killer werewolf costume with it.

  2. I need a Vegematic!
    I need a Pocket Fisherman!
    I need a handy appliance
    That’ll scramble an egg while it’s still inside its shell!
    (Operators are standing by.
    How does that make you feel?)
    Help me.
    Mr. Popeil!

    I wanna shine some pennies!
    I wanna mend some leather!
    I wanna Krazy-Glue my head to the bottom of a big steel girder!
    (Please, no C.O.D.’s.
    Don’t miss out on this deal.)
    Ah, help me.
    Mr. Popeil!

    Help me.
    Mr. Popeil!
    Mr. Popeil!
    Mr. Popeil!

    (Wo-o, wo-o. Ohhhhhh.)
    It slices. It dices.
    Look at that tomato!
    You could even cut a tin can with it,
    But you wouldn’t want to!

    Mr. Popeil, I’m in trouble.
    Need your assistance on the double.
    Oh no! Now how am I gonna make
    My old vinyl car top look like new?
    Mr. Popeil!
    Tell me, what am I s’posed to do?

    Mr. Popeil!
    Mr. Popeil!

    (Now how much would you pay?)
    But wait, there’s more!
    It’s not sold in any store!
    (Now how much would you pay?)
    Don’t answer yet,
    Just look what else you get!
    (Now how much would you pay?)
    If you order today,
    You get a Ginsu knife and a smokeless ashtray!
    (Now how much would you pay?)
    Now how much would you pay?
    Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil.
    Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil.
    Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil.
    Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil.

    Make me buy a Garden Weasel!
    Make me buy a Bamboo Steamer!
    Make me take advantage
    Of this amazing TV offer!
    (Call our toll-free number,
    We’ll make you such a deal.)
    Aw, help me!
    Mr. Popeil. I want it!
    (Mr. Popeil.) Well, I need it!
    (Mr. Popeil.) I got to got to got to have it!
    Mr. Popeil!
    Mr. Popeil!
    Hey!

  3. Many years ago, when I was a tv-addicted gradeschool tot, my best friend and I used to love The Juice Tiger infomercials. We thought they were hilarious. Looking back, I can’t really figure out why. But at the time they produced many half-hours of entertainment.

  4. Remember how you felt when you were a kid and you “sent away” for something and waited and waited for it to come and the postman was the apex of your day?

    That was a good feeling. It’s what Ron Popeil sells – and Mitt Romney. It’s what Ronald Reagan sold, and it’s worth every penny.

  5. IZZZZn’t that amazing!

    IT slices, IT dices, IT MAKES JULIENNE FRIES!!

    BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!!!!!! …….

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