Predict the Next Name: Bess Myerson, Sun-Yi Previn, Winona Ryder, Rex Reed…


The answer, of course, is disgraced Bush adviser Claude Allen, who has now joined the ranks of celebrity shoplifters by trying to boost $5,000 in stylish-yet-budget-priced goods from a Maryland Target store.

Check out former Miss America Myerson's grim rap sheet here.

Recall when Soon Yi Previn Allen was so unknown she was only called one of "Mia Farrow's daughters" here.

Relive how Winona Ryder stole America's innocence, along with fancy clothes, here.

And thrill to Rex Reed's greatest performance outside of the titular-less role star turn in Myra Breckenridge, here.

Shop Target online here.

Evil Twin Update: As reader digamma notes below, some folks are claiming that the dastardly deed was done not by Claude but by his lawbreaking twin brother Floyd. For details, go here.

NEXT: Google's Literary Pretensions

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  1. Some people are saying the perpetrator was Allen’s twin brother. Really.

    Life imitates Arrested Development.

  2. Wow. This raises the interesting question: Why is “Lloyd” spelled with two “L”s but “Floyd” only spelled with one? It also brings to mind Drew Barrymore’s finest role.

  3. Allen missed out on a diplomatic opportunity. He could have won over the Dems by ripping off Walmart instead of Target.

  4. Baylen-
    If Lloyd is spelled with two L’s then Floyd should be spelled with two F’s.
    “Ffloyd.” I like that. It’s seriously ffucked-up.

  5. It’s delightful. The evil twin controversy will keep this all over TV for months and months…the WH will find it impossible to bury it. They can intimidate the Times and buy off the “serious” journalists, but once tabloid TV gets hold of a story no power on Earth can stop the juggernaut of coverage.

    From what I can divine so far, I think the evil twin may have started the scam and pulled his brother into it.

  6. Even more ffreaky, “Floyd” is already a misspelling of Welsh “Lloyd”. But there’s nothing too strange about “Ffloyd” – many Welsh words begin with “ff”.

  7. and now for something completely different,

    Psychologists have formally recognized John Henryism as a style of strong coping behaviors used by many African Americans to deal with psychosocial and environmental stressors such as career issues, health problems and even racism.

    The researchers quantify John Henryism using a questionnaire that reveals a ‘single-minded’ drive to succeed, even beyond a person’s overall self-interest, which is the hallmark of JH,

  8. One brother posing as another when in trouble happens. I knew two guys who did it (and neither was a twin).

  9. Winona Ryder is, or at least has been, too much like the government, but she’s also quite hot.

  10. It will be terrible for him.
    Prosecutors will not allow him to plead out with misdemeanors and will press 4 felony charges against him. They will campaign against Claude for months to print in the minds of the public he should be jailed for a few years and pay detectives and defamers and give a few phone calls to destroy his image and reputation even more. They will stage an exhibition of the stolen goods (with holes in them?) and demand the trial be televised. And if contrary to their plans the jury acquits him on one or two charges, they’ll stage a press conference to explain that jailtime never was at stake, which will enrage the public even more.
    I feel awfully sorry for him, it seems clear that his methods show there was no intent, no evil mind, and he was terribly depressed and vulnerable and had a substance problem. Meds can alter your judgement to the point you’re not even thinking.
    er er hold on, am I getting mixed up with another story?

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