Duke of New York Ducks Park In Hubbard Hubbub: Engrams fly as "Shaft" clear ankles blasphemers! It's dianetexasperating, sez Stone

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Isaac Hayes has quit South Park over unspecified "intolerance and bigotry" at the cartoon. "Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored," the "Chef" actor said in a statement.

South Park co-creator Matt Stone traces Hayes' ire to the show's November "Trapped In the Closet" episode, which mocked the Church of Scientology. Stone tells the Associated Press, "This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology… He has no problem—and he's cashed plenty of checks—with our show making fun of Christians." Stone says he and co-creator Trey Parker "never heard a peep out of Isaac in any way until we did Scientology. He wants a different standard for religions other than his own, and to me, that is where intolerance and bigotry begin."

Bill Donohue goes crazier than ever.

So I guess this nixes my next movie project: That remake of Rosemary's Baby with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes in the Cassavetes/Farrow roles and Kirstie Alley, Jenna Elfman, John Travolta and the rest of the COS bigwigs playing the members of the coven.

Update: This is not the first time Hayes has addressed "Trapped In the Closet." In this December interview with CNN's A.J. Hammer, Hayes says "No" five times when Hammer asks if the Scientology episode had anything to do with Chef's absence from the show: "I'm still in the wings, so I'm here," Hayes says. "They do what they do… And I'm sure—I'm sure I'll show up eventually… The episode, I didn't see it but I was told about it. But they lampoon everybody. And if you believe them, you got a problem."

Make what you will of that. I think A.J. Hammer is just a poor man's A.J. Benza.

Up-Update: And Chef had this to say to The Onion's AV Club in January:

Well, I talked to Matt and Trey about that. They didn't let me know until it was done. I said, "Guys, you have it all wrong. We're not like that. I know that's your thing, but get your information correct, because somebody might believe that shit, you know?" But I understand what they're doing. I told them to take a couple of Scientology courses, and understand what we do. [Laughs.]

Jacob Sullum took a ringside seat at the Stone/Sean Penn mud wrestle over voting.

The Reason puppetmasters lifted Brian Doherty's thumbs way up for Team America: World Police.

Way back in Old '96, David Post expored the cyberiffic sensations as the Church of Scientology sued an apostate for posting holy write online.

NEXT: Saved by the Breath

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  1. I’ve been waiting for that shoe to drop.

  2. “What does it take to get the New York-Hollywood gang to stop with their Catholic bashing? Threats of beheadings?…”

    As a former Catholic, may I say, “Ha ha ha!”.

    Issac Hayes = just another hypocritical religious person. Is this really news to anyone?

  3. Isaac would get a lot more leverage if he’d just burn some buildings down and issue a proclamation calling for the deaths of Parker and Stone.

  4. “Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored,” the “Chef” actor said in a statement.

    This is echoes a similar statement made about the Intoonfada issue in that article that you linked to on the student editors who got canned.

    Donohue was strutting about some time ago about the bleeding statue episode pulled; but it seems that he was wrong. He also bitched about his his group’s commentary on the episode elicited a negative response, arguing that members of his group were merely exercising their free speech rights. The irony of his statement was lost on him.

    Now, one has to ask whether Hayes stop taking residuals?

  5. What does it take to get the New York-Hollywood gang to stop with their Catholic bashing?

    Let’s see. How about when the Catholic church joins the fucking 21st century? Or how about when the Catholic church just kind of goes away?

    Having said that, Isaac Hayes is a large, hypocritical asshole. Good riddance to him.

  6. Sad. Hopefully they will do a show in which Chef is killed off and the kids say “Oh my God, they killed chef! Those anti-Scientologist bastards!”

  7. Anti-Catholic = Criticizing any practice of the Catholic Church. In this case criticizing their willingness to believe in bullshit like virgin mary’s in the fog on a window.

  8. It’s sad to see Hayes go. He was a great presence on the show. However, I don’t think it’s so much that Hayes is a hypocrite. Scientology is a cult – a powerful and secretive cult. When a member of the Chruch speaks out against it, or even is remotely involved with speaking out against it, they face serious repercussions ranging from isolation from freinds and family to all out blacklisting and frivolous lawsuits. Hayes was probably frightened away.

    JMJ

  9. Isaac Hayes is a Scientologist??

    How anyone associated with South Park can believe that sacred beliefs should at all times be respected and honored is beyond me. And if Mr. Hayes is crying because his own goat has been gored, well the hyopocrisy is almost too obvious to be worth mentioning. But what the hell, thanks for doing the show as long as you did, Isaac!

  10. There are so many ways Parker/Stone could mine the comic possiblities of this that it boggles the mind.

  11. However, I don’t think it’s so much that Hayes is a hypocrite. Scientology is a cult – a powerful and secretive cult. When a member of the Chruch speaks out against it, or even is remotely involved with speaking out against it, they face serious repercussions ranging from isolation from freinds and family to all out blacklisting and frivolous lawsuits. Hayes was probably frightened away.

    Jersey McJones,

    Your point is noted. I almost sensed a hint of pity in your post. Whether he’s officially deemed a hypocrite or not, your explanation doesn’t elicit any sympathy from me on his behalf. People who become involved in cults (cults as they are commmonly known or organized religion) are simply reaping what they sow.

  12. Chef hasn’t had more than one line in a South Park episode for about tree-fitty seasons.

    BFD.

  13. I bet Bill Donohue gets spit on his monitors when he types up his press releases.

  14. If you’re weak and stupid enough to believe Scientology, you pretty much deserve whatever they do to you. And to lose all your money to them.

  15. I think they should do an episode called, “Escape from South Park”. Hayes reprises his role from Escape from New York and dies the same way.

  16. “South Park” hasn’t been funny (like Dennis Miller, Larry Miller..did I miss a few? so did the public) since it’s creators went bushista. Hayes probably never watched the show and has no other showbiz prospects, which is why he continued cashing his paychecks oblivious to that obvious fact.

    Of course the soon to be 40-year-old-virgins, usual gang of inhabitants here are still great fans of the show, but who cares? That doesn’t denote anything but persistently small cable ratings.

    Geeks stop watching cartoons? Never happen until the wife (not likely) or the guards (more likely now with internet “predator” sweeps)at the local jail change the channel over geekish objections.

    Was the COS based objection a way to get out of his contract and keep the money? Probably.

  17. When did “South Park” stop being funny? Who cares?

  18. Even today, nobody has been able to top the sheer pimposity of hanging chandeliers from the hood of one’s car.

  19. Pro – hahah! I was just watching that movie over the weekend. Gotta love John Carpenter and Kurt Russell!

    Course, Hayes prolly won’t do it because his butt’s sore due to his “religion” being offended and all.

    I am so sick of everyone whining and crying about everything…including me now whining and crying about people whining and crying. 🙂

  20. “”South Park” hasn’t been funny (like Dennis Miller, Larry Miller..did I miss a few? so did the public) since it’s creators went bushista.”

    What fuckin show have you been watching? Jimmy’s steroid episode was the funniest shit I’ve ever seen. I think the last four years have been they’re funniest episodes.

  21. I often get confused between people who are making fun of Scientology and people who are describing what Scientologists actually believe. I know–mainline Christianity might look just as silly to a visitor from outer space. …but that’s not what I’m talkin’ about…

    If someone says, for instance, “Kirstie Alley thinks she knows people who can cure psychiatric problems with a tuning fork.”, how do we tell if they’re making fun of Scientology or just callin’ it like they see it?

    P.S. I want a piece of that Rosemary’s Baby remake–let us know when you start raising money?

  22. “”South Park” hasn’t been funny (like Dennis Miller, Larry Miller..did I miss a few? so did the public) since it’s creators went bushista.”

    you do know that parker and stone were behind the show that’s my bush right?

  23. HEY NOW,

    What is up with this nonsense?

    Let’s see. How about when the Catholic church joins the fucking 21st century? Or how about when the Catholic church just kind of goes away?

    Having said that, Isaac Hayes is a large, hypocritical asshole. Good riddance to him.

    Comment by: Jamie Kelly at March 14, 2006 12:48 PM

    Anti-Catholic = Criticizing any practice of the Catholic Church. In this case criticizing their willingness to believe in bullshit like virgin mary’s in the fog on a window.

    Comment by: Hakluyt at March 14, 2006 01:01 PM

    Yeah Bill Donohue’s a moron, but lay off the Catholic Church. Nobody’s forcing you to join and/or remain part of it. It doesn’t need to “change” to suit your needs.

  24. HEY NOW,

    What is up with this nonsense?

    Let’s see. How about when the Catholic church joins the fucking 21st century? Or how about when the Catholic church just kind of goes away?

    Having said that, Isaac Hayes is a large, hypocritical asshole. Good riddance to him.

    Comment by: Jamie Kelly at March 14, 2006 12:48 PM

    Anti-Catholic = Criticizing any practice of the Catholic Church. In this case criticizing their willingness to believe in bullshit like virgin mary’s in the fog on a window.

    Comment by: Hakluyt at March 14, 2006 01:01 PM

    Yeah Bill Donohue’s a moron, but lay off the Catholic Church. Nobody’s forcing you to join and/or remain part of it. It doesn’t need to “change” to suit your needs. You know, Hitler wanted the Jews to “just go away.”

  25. Amazingdrx:

    “South Park” hasn’t been funny (like Dennis Miller, Larry Miller..did I miss a few? so did the public) since it’s creators went bushista. Hayes probably never watched the show and has no other showbiz prospects, which is why he continued cashing his paychecks oblivious to that obvious fact.

    Of course the soon to be 40-year-old-virgins, usual gang of inhabitants here are still great fans of the show, but who cares? That doesn’t denote anything but persistently small cable ratings.

    “Went Bushista”? Huhhhh?

    Oh, and drx, your standard contempt for all us “soon to be 40 year old virgins” who post comments here is so very amusing. Funny—you keep coming back, though.

  26. The weird thing about all this is that Issac Hayes gave an interview at the Onion A.V. Club a couple months ago and said he was more or less OK with the episode. Actually, knowing a bit about Scientology, it’s not that weird.

  27. “When did “South Park” stop being funny? Who cares?”

    When were you e v e r funny?

  28. Yeah Bill Donohue’s a moron, but lay off the Catholic Church. Nobody’s forcing you to join and/or remain part of it. It doesn’t need to “change” to suit your needs. You know, Hitler wanted the Jews to “just go away.”

    AntiDC,

    I wouldn’t lump Hakluyt’s post in with Jamie Kelly’s. Jamie Kelly was the one who suggested he would lay off the church when it “goes away”. Hakluyt didn’t say anything to that effect, he was just making fun of the Catholic Church. I don’t think their comments are equivalent. And I should add, as an anti-religion person, I’m not going to try to force an institution to stay or go one way or the other. That doesn’t mean people have to refrain from mocking it.

  29. “Your point is noted. I almost sensed a hint of pity in your post. Whether he’s officially deemed a hypocrite or not, your explanation doesn’t elicit any sympathy from me on his behalf. People who become involved in cults (cults as they are commmonly known or organized religion) are simply reaping what they sow.”

    I do feel some sympathy, smacky, because cults do not reveal their malevolence until after you are beyond the point of no return. I doubt Scientology novices have a clue what’s in store for them if they break the rules. Organized religion is different in the sense that believers tend to be well aware of the tenets of the churches involved.

    All said, I wish all religion and cults would die away.

    JMJ

  30. If you’re weak and stupid enough to believe Scientology, you pretty much deserve whatever they do to you. And to lose all your money to them.

    If you continue to disclose our trade secrets, we’ll sue your ass.

  31. Mediageek, lowdog: Don’t be unabashed in your praise of Escape from NY….it may rankle Reason’s movie czar Cavanaugh.

    If Parker and Stone are Bushistas, then Walker and Sullum are Bushistas.

  32. I think you’ve just stated Dr.x’s point.

  33. You, Mother Hubbard, go back to your cupboard, get your old dog a bone, and shut up.

    Or sue me already, insolent old bimbo.

  34. Escape from NY was a 1980’s dystopian masterpeice. That’s an indisputable fact.

  35. “I think you’ve just stated Dr.x’s point.”

    That’s preposterous. amazingdrx is actually incapable of making a coherent point.

  36. Religious beliefs are sacred to people

    No shit.

    and at all times should be respected and honored

    Bullshit.

  37. ‘You know, Hitler wanted the Jews to “just go away.”‘

    AntiDC, I’ll let you off with a warning this time, just remember, Hitler isn’t a toy. If you continue to wield your Hitler irresponsibly, you’ll be required to take Nazi safety courses. A third offense will result in a wedgie.

  38. I wouldn’t lump Hakluyt’s post in with Jamie Kelly’s. Jamie Kelly was the one who suggested he would lay off the church when it “goes away”. Hakluyt didn’t say anything to that effect, he was just making fun of the Catholic Church. I don’t think their comments are equivalent. And I should add, as an anti-religion person, I’m not going to try to force an institution to stay or go one way or the other. That doesn’t mean people have to refrain from mocking it.

    Comment by: smacky at March 14, 2006 02:07 PM

    Sure, moch away but at least be correct in your assertions. Hakluyt claimed that the Catholic Church buys into the Mary visions all over the world. That is not true. It is a practiceo of some overzealous members of the Church. Remember, the Catholic Church is the voice of reason in religion. It was the Catholics who said Intelligent Design is crap and should not be taught in schools. Also, the Catholic Church is not some Ponze scheme religion who bases access to heaven on how much money you have to give. It is the largest non-governmental aid organization in the world. (Bigger than the Red Cross) Pope John Paul was so dangerous to Communism that the USSR tried to assassinate him. Also, we dont cut your head off if you are a member of another religion and we dont force you to join. Catholocism aint perfect, but it serves it members well.

  39. AntiDC, I’ll let you off with a warning this time, just remember, Hitler isn’t a toy. If you continue to wield your Hitler irresponsibly, you’ll be required to take Nazi safety courses. A third offense will result in a wedgie.

    Comment by: Godwin’s Cop at March 14, 2006 03:37 PM

    Good thing I am not in Austria, or France. A Hitler refernce might cost me my liberty and a wedgie. However, I have to ask why I would be scolded when J.Kelly voiced her wish that people of my Church would disappear. Her intolerance has made me intolerant.

  40. Remember, the Catholic Church is the voice of reason in religion.

    Does that really get us very far, though? Is a mild form of mania preferable to no mania at all?

    Also, the Catholic Church is not some Ponze scheme religion who bases access to heaven on how much money you have to give.

    Well, there is the tithe. Although, if certain members can’t afford to pay that, of course they’ll still admit you. Like a magazine subscription, they’ll just keep coming back to try and collect money from you later.

  41. I don’t think AntiDC’s up on Godwin’s law.

    …I’d help him out, but he seems to have chosen to project himself in opposition to my hometown… …I just can’t make myself…

  42. Hakluyt claimed that the Catholic Church buys into the Mary visions all over the world. That is not true.

    Hakluyt was not implying that the Church validates every single sighting of Mary in grilled cheese. The fact that the Catholic Church does take the time to validate reported some reported sightings supports Hakluyt’s statement.

    But please…go ahead and get into a pissing contest about the reasonableness of the Catholic Church with Hakluyt…it would make my day.

  43. Remember, the Catholic Church is the voice of reason in religion.

    Okay Gaius.

    …What a crock!

    Is a mild form of mania preferable to no mania at all?

    Religion is mania? …What a…

  44. I’m high on Jesus, nothing like free-based Messiah to get your afternoon going.

  45. Also, the Catholic Church is not some Ponze scheme religion who bases access to heaven on how much money you have to give.

    When coin in coffer rings,
    The soul, from Purgatory, springs!

  46. Tithe? Like 10% of your income? Not the Catholic Church. It’s got problems, but they definately give their stuff away for free or next to nothing.

    How does Stone and Parker become a Bushista? When Christ goes to Iraq to free Santa in a torrent of blood?

  47. Issac Hayes gave an interview at the Onion A.V. Club a couple months ago and said he was more or less OK with the episode. Actually, knowing a bit about Scientology, it’s not that weird.

    No it’s not, because getting exposure in Hollywood trumps trashing the cult. But only if you’re a celebrity. If you’re *not* a celebrity, they sick their pack of lawyers on you until you’re penniless.

  48. Yesterday’s syndicated South Park was “Super Best Friends”. It’s the one where they join a cult that is threatening mass suicide unless it gets tax exempt status (sound familiar?) It’s also extremely blasphemous — Muhammad joins forces with other religious figures to fight evil. (I can’t believe this episode made it to the airwaves in this era of censorship.)

    Anyway, this episode was made in 2001. Why has it taken Hayes five years to realize that South Park is insensitive to religion? Because five months ago a South Park episode actually used the word Scientology. The voices in Hayes’ head noticed and told him to quit.

  49. Of course they’re always pissed off. What do you expect from a re-ligion that thinks you can fix your brain with drugs that make you piss a lot?

  50. You may not know that Ike recently had a mild stroke but I’m told he has fully recovered. This event may have timed his decision.

  51. “I think you’ve just stated Dr.x’s point”

    Cue the geeks: Action!

    This is just too easy.

  52. You may not know that Ike recently had a mild stroke but I’m told he has fully recovered.

    Kyle’s little Canadian brother? I missed that episode.

  53. Hakluyt claimed that the Catholic Church buys into the Mary visions all over the world.

    Actually I didn’t. However, they certainly do validate many such claims though. All of this is of course is as believeable as magnet therapy.

  54. AntiDC:

    Catholic Church? Voice of Reason?

    When exactly did they exonerate Galileo?

  55. jb,

    Happily the RCC’s political power has waned significantly since then. Of course the efforts of the RCC did help keep Italy a backwater for several centuries after Britain, France, etc. had taken off. The difference between France and Italy being that the French were generally not ruled by devots.

  56. When exactly did they exonerate Galileo?

    All Hallow’s Eve, 1992

  57. Warren,

    That’s not even really true. The RCC maintains that its actions were reasonable given Galileo’s “arrogance” and that if he had only maintained that the Copernican position was merely a “hypothesis” (which at the time meant a position taken solely for the sake of measurement – it didn’t hold its modern meaning in other words) everything would have been alright. Basically the RCC still finds that its assumed role of arbiter of scientific truth at the time has some merit, when in fact the RCC’s position as such has not merit at all. Nor does it have any merit on scientific truth today. After all, it took the RCC until the 18th century to finally make an admission about the correct nature of our heliocentric condition (long after any doubts on the matter had been crushed) and the 19th century before Galileo’s offending text was taken off the Codex.

    One of the other primary defenses of the RCC is to argue that Galileo wasn’t physically harmed. However, the mere fact that the man had to be drug on a litter to his trial due to his ill health is proof enough of the barbarity of the RCC’s actions.

  58. The Galileo thing was a long time ago, but the no-birth-control thing continues.

  59. Comment by: Hakluyt at March 15, 2006 10:12 AM

    So, the Catholic Church sucks because of its actions hundreds and hundreds of years ago. Its current acts of kindness, charity, and logic (see its rebuke of intelligent design) do not count for anything huh? Guess what, the Catholic Church doesnt go out and force people to join thier church. Tithing is voluntary and has no affect on one’s ability to reach heaven. Do you know any organization that can operate with money? Perhaps you would be happier if the Catholic Church petitioned the government for money? And remember, Catholic schools are the only options for poor families to avoid our Prussian style government schools. They are affordable and provide an education on par with private schools. Without those schools, where would the poor gain a decent education?

    Hakluyt, You sir, are an asshole.

  60. It is possible the “Church” just got to him ( maybe Tom Cruise himself) and “forced” him to publicly disown and resign from South Park, regardless of what he thought.

    I agree, I have no sympathy for cult followers, but it is well documented that the COS does conspire to “set up”‘ former members, public critics,etc and have people imprisoned, locked up in psyche wards,killed, “Fair Game” etc when they do not do what they are told. Maybe he’s just made enough money from it at this point and doesnt want to end up like L. Ron Hubbard’s son..and will just continue playing his music at COS retreats and help Tom Cruise recruit Kanye West.

  61. Comment by: The Real Bill at March 15, 2006 10:28 AM

    If you dont like it dont join. It’s a religion that has certain beliefs. It should therefore change to suit your needs or change with the times? That is what political parties do. Look what happened to the Republican party. Remember, they changed with the times, and now they love big government more than the demsOCommies.

  62. AntiDC,

    So, the Catholic Church sucks because of its actions hundreds and hundreds of years ago.

    Its current agenda regarding homosexuals, freedom of speech, etc. is hardly something to be proud of. Indeed, its quite disturbing. Witness what the RCC had to say about the “Intoonfada” affair for example.

    Its current acts of kindness, charity…

    Is there anything charitable about a Church which opposes embryonic stem cell research, the use of condoms, birth control in general, etc.?

    Do these acts of charity actually help the mass of the people they are intended to help?

    …and logic (see its rebuke of intelligent design) do not count for anything huh?

    Its position on I.D. is hardly clear in light of many recent statements by members of the RCC, and the Church would clearly reject evolution if it in anyway allowed one to doubt their big bearded man in the sky fantasies.

    Guess what, the Catholic Church doesnt go out and force people to join thier church.

    Because they lost secular power and were forced to retreat from such activities. The mere fact that the RCC can longer wield such power because it was forced to give it up isn’t much of a defense.

    They are affordable and provide an education on par with private schools.

    Myth. No study has ever evidenced that Catholic schools are on average better than their public school counterparts. This is no argument for public schools of course. It is an argument against the myth that Catholic schools are somehow superior institutions which should get public money.

    You, sir, are blind.

  63. The Real Bill,

    The RCC will always be lagging behind the advance of individual liberty and human freedom.

    AntiDC,

    The RCC changes its positions often enough. Of course it tends to do so through a lot of hand waving and obfuscation so as to deny that it is actually changing its position.

  64. AntiDC,

    They can believe anything they want; I’m all for freedom of religion. Just because they aren’t (currently) trying to force people to believe what they do is not any reason for me not to dislike and criticize them.

    Hak,

    I don’t know, some of those old-school popes had some pretty modern mores, if you know what I mean (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).

  65. The Real Bill,

    Some of them Popes had rather largish seraglios I hear (well, not really seraglios, but certainly a collection of women). 🙂

  66. The triggering event here was probably last week’s Rolling Stone article. For months Hayes was able to get by with I told them they didn’t get everything right but it’s no big deal since they tease everyone. but not after the RS article. I feel bad for him since it was a good gig.

    This is a lesson for Catholic bashers to keep things in proportion. If your boy falls for a Catholic girl and converts it’s not going to damage his income producing capacity, keep your grandkids from the doctor, keep the grandkids from seeing you, …

  67. The Rolling Stone article included a claim that the COS had succeeded in paying off the cable providers here in Tampa Bay area to never broadcast the episode again.

    I didn’t believe it until right this minute. The “Trapped in the Closet” episode is listed in the 12midnite EST rerun slot for Wednesday, Mar 15.

    But instead they’re showing the episode “Chef’s Salty Chocolate Balls”…

    See: http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/9363363/inside_scientology

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