Oscar Alert

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The Academy has spoken and the big Oscars went to:

Best Picture: Crash
Best Director: Ang Lee
Best Actress: Reese Witherspoon
Best Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman
Best Original Screenplay: Crash
Best Adapted Screenplay: Brokeback Mountain
Best Supporting Actor: George Clooney
Best Supporting Actress: Rachel Weisz

Whole list here. Discuss the winners and losers–and how Jon Stewart did as host (pretty good, I thought, though it sounded like he was bombing like Dresden there).

Update: "Gays brokenhearted over 'Brokeback' loss," reports the San Fran Chronicle from that city's "premier Oscar night party." The reaction in part to Crash taking home Best Pic honors?

"I think that's an absolute horror," said Brad Bruner, who is a leader in the Golden State Gay Rodeo Association. "It's an outright sign of homophobia in our country. ('Crash') won no awards before this. It makes me sick."

Whole thing here.

Crash is the "worst movie of the year," say lefties. Before it took home anything, Angeleno deluxe Matt Welch pooh-poohed its LA cred, saying films like it tell "us far more about the neuroses of their directors–and the prejudices of academy voters" than about America's second-largest city.

The Arab press seems philosophical about the failure of the suicide-bomber flick Paradise Now to take home the Oscar for best foreign language film. Perhaps because Munich, somehow reviled both by supporters of Israel and Palestinians, got shut out. And perhaps because Albert Brooks' Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World fizzled faster than Richard Reid's shoes at Western box offices.

NEXT: Color Me Pissed

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  1. I can’t believe people even watch that shit…and I watch some shitty shit.

  2. I thought Stewart did a fine job. Although Martin Scorsese may not agree.
    Oh, and props to Rob Corddry (I’m pretty sure it was him, anyway) for the Daily Show-esqe shorts.

  3. I thought Stewart did a fine job. Although Martin Scorsese may not agree.
    Oh, and props to Rob Corddry (I’m pretty sure it was him, anyway) for the Daily Show-esqe shorts.

  4. Yeah, I think Jon Stewart was quite good as well.

    Although, I think it was Stephen Colbert doing the voice over for the Daily Show-esque clips (which were hilarious).

  5. Ahhhh damn it. Brokeback didn’t get Best Picture. I don’t get to watch the fundies melt down.

  6. All I know is, my father was freaking out this morning about the prospect of that “flithy liberal who attacks the President and Dick Cheney” hosting the Oscars. That and how that “gay cowboy movie” was causing “John Wayne and Jimmy Stewart to roll in their graves.”

    Conservatives are so cute when they’re being mindlessly jingoistic and homophobic… which is all the time.

  7. I haven’t actually heard many fundamentalists talk about, “Brokeback Mountain.” At least not the real ones in everyday life. I don’t know about the more vocal political types among them. The outcry I wonder about is whether some people in the gay community are going to start calling Hollywood (or the Academy) “homophobic” for not giving the win to the film.

  8. The actress PSAs were by Colbert, the sound editing one was definitely Corddry.

  9. “I don’t get to watch the fundies melt down.”

    Why would they start now?

  10. The ‘gay cowboy’ montage in the beginning was freakin’ brilliant (I’m sure Tim Cavenaugh would agree). Stewart himself was pretty funny, and I say this as seemingly the only person in the 18-34 age group who just doesn’t get The Daily Show. I’m glad that I live in a universe in which the Three 6 Mafia can win an Academy Award. Otherwise: way too many Chuck Workman documentaries, not enough awards for the two Spielberg movies (which I thought were both fantastic) and way too much love for Crash, which I absolutely loathed.

  11. Stewart is a mocker, and that’s just what those self-important jerkwads in Tinseltown deserve – mockery. My favorite Stewart line came after the ultra-smug montage of “socially relevant” flicks: “And of course, none of those issues was ever a problem again…”

  12. Gay cowboy montage was brilliant. It definitely warmed up the room, which didn’t seem to get Stewart’s humor. I thought his timing was a little off…I think he relies heavily on audience reaction. The small studio of the Daily Show and the enthusiastic crowd there turns him on in a way the Oscar show’s auditorium and older, more reserved audience didn’t.

    That said, he didn’t bomb. I suppose I’ll have to see Crash now. They really spread the awards around this year, didn’t they?

  13. I liked Crash. I’m also glad Ang Lee got best director. In my opinion they should seperate best pic and director more often. Contrary to apparent consensus the director is not the end all and be all of a pic. I suppose I’ll get flack for that.

    I think they fucked up by cutting off a couple of people who were partners in awards. Can you say incompetent? Am I the only one who would prefer a tiny bit of time more for acceptance speeches and have fewer idiotic montages instead?

    Jon Stewart was ok, but nothing special in my opinion. Thank God for Ben Stiller. He is too funny sometimes, although if you saw Zoolander this was basically the same character in my opinion. A great character mind you.

    Akira, one of the montages struck me as mostly or entirely about so-called liberal causes, so maybe your hated “fundies” will rant about it tomorrow. And Jon Stewart will also may get some flack from the “Hollywood elite” for his joke about all those great causes in the montage being solved by those pics. 🙂

  14. Yeah, the audience definitely didn’t appreciate Stewart as much as I did. I liked the bit about getting together and tearing down the giant Oscar, and letting democracy reign. Ah well.

    I surely can’t be the only one who hated the Three 6 mafia song, though. (Beats the hell out of Dolly Parton, I guess, but jeez…) I will be glad when that kind of melodramatic, indulgent, overproduced hip-hop goes the way of the bad 70s R&B it’s trying so hard to be.

  15. Once again Hollywood celebrates alternative lifestyles, especially in the best documentary category.

  16. Three 6 Mafia…sweet Cthulu, weren’t they the ones with “Riddin’ Spinnas” and “Sippin on Some Sizzurp”…where’s Gaius Marius to whine about the collapse of civilization when you need him.
    They win an award, and not South Park’s “Blame Canada”…
    God I hate Hollywood.
    🙁

  17. I can see it now: Crash 2: Homophobic Boogaloo

    MAN 1: You’re a homophobe!
    MAN 2: No, you’re a homophobe!
    [Repeats until both kiss.]

    MAN 1: Let’s see them try to deny us the Oscar this time.

  18. I don’t get cable/satellite (I Netflix), and I didn’t even know the Oscars were on last night until my sig other reminded me.

    Stupid, boring, complete waste of time. And this is coming from a guy who gets toasted and watches “Harvey Birdman” (best of the Adult Swim DVDs so far!)

  19. Around the world, millions of people watched the Oscars last night. Meanwhile I spent the evening playing Warcraft 3 online. I pity all those millions for wasting their time like that.

  20. Roomful of gay cowboys at the moment “BM” lost: Priceless

  21. “It’s an outright sign of homophobia in our country. (‘Crash’) won no awards before this. It makes me sick.”

    Or, it’s an outright sign that tired and boring love stories don’t actually suck and less when it’s two dudes? I promise that double entendre was accidental. 😉

    I can’t help but think that “Jerry McGuire” would suck just about as much if Tom told Cuba “You had me at show me the money”.

    Of course, watching the Hollywood Circle Jer…err..Oscars makes me sick. So I watched Family Guy reruns instead.

  22. dreck Pronunciation Key (drek)
    n. Slang

    Trash, especially inferior merchandise.

    [German, dirt, trash, and Yiddish drek, excrement both from Middle High German drec, from Old High German. See sker-? in Indo-European Roots.]

  23. I was disappointed Joaquin Phoenix didn’t win best actor – although I’ll admit I didn’t watch Capote. Still, Phoenix poured his heart out in that film. The scenes where he has his final fight with his first wife before she walks out, his stare down with his dad at Thanksgiving right before his de-tox phase, and the de-tox sceens as well. The singing was really good too. Was the guy who played Capote better? Why not Cash’s first wife in the movie for at least a best supporting actress nominee?

  24. From the ‘The Nation’ entry linked to above:

    “To my mind, Crash’s central message is: There’s a lot of racism in the world, but it’s all rendered meaningless by a magical force. This force is called sheer coincidence.”

    Rendered meaningless? Crash certainly wasn’t my favorite movie, but, jesus, could Richard Kim miss the point any worse? Every instance in the film where circumstances force people to confront their own racism, Kim sees this as “excusing” said racism. What a dolt.

    As for Matt Welch’s take…

    “But I figure that turning up the spotlight on the movie’s vision of Los Angeles as a simmering, racist hellbroth might finally stem the flood of Canadians and New Yorkers who keep driving up local real estate prices.”

    Maybe “Crash” wasn’t indicative of a day-in-the-life of an L.A.-ite, but, come the fuck on, Matt. Would anyone really want to watch something like that? Hey, look: a black guy got on the train, and nothing extraordinary happened. He just went to work. Yay. It’s a movie, it’s entertainment…not a goddamned documentary. And do you really think that most people are stupid enough to believe that the L.A. in this movie is L.A.?

  25. I also enjoyed Stewart, but Clooney stole the show every time the camera was put on him. Has an audience member who wasn’t winning a lifetime achievement award ever gotten that much camera time before?

  26. Evan, I might not go so far as “most,” especially since most people have not seen it. Do you think that most of the people who voted for it an Oscar winner thought it was a True picture of LA?

    The person I know who recommended Crash to me thought it was Real and Meaningful and Important (with no irony). Maybe San Diego people just have a strongly negative picture of LA, or maybe the film was the Rorschach test that so many said.

  27. 1) Stewart did fine, but the audience didn’t “get” him, apparently.

    2) Loved the clips (cowboys, biopics, noirs.) Seems some critics didn’t.

    3) I found Crash to be unrealistic and contrived, but I haven’t seen the other BP nominees yet (waiting for DVD releases) so maybe it was deserving.

    4) Good for the penguin movie, maybe the best nature doc I’ve ever seen.

    5) I still don’t like rap music.

    6) I watch over a hundred movies a year, but I haven’t been to a movie theater since summer 2004, and I probably won’t ever go again. Netflix rules!

  28. “It’s an outright sign of homophobia in our country…It makes me sick.”

    Because if we don’t give golden statuettes to films about fags, that means the terrorists have won… no wait, it means Bush=Hitler… no, USA=Third Reich. Yeah yeah that’s it.

    ‘Homophobia’ what a phony, overused, meaningless word. What’s the word for ‘spoiled faggots that throw a hissy-fit when they don’t get all the toys in the sandbox’? Indeed we need a general-purpose word to describe someone claiming oppression anytime they’re group doesn’t get the special treatment they want.

  29. I suspect the tepid reaction to Stewart was at least in part because he was poking fun at Hollywood. The “never a problem again” line was absolutely the perfect commment at the pefect time, but it was less than amusing to the self-important douchebags in the audience.
    I’m amazed that no one has commented on the repeated pleas to see movies in the theater. The MPA president’s comment about the joy of sharing the experience of seeing a movie with a bunch of strangers was one of the funniest lines of the night.

  30. The MPA president’s comment about the joy of sharing the experience of seeing a movie with a bunch of strangers was one of the funniest lines of the night.

    He must go with a different class of strangers than we do.

  31. One part that I caught and got a laugh at was when they cut to Stewart after a commercial break and he was prostelyzing to the crowd about Scientology. Did the crowd get it? I think the blank stares he received all through the night made the whole event unintentionally hilarious. Stewart will never host the Oscars again (which should make him happy). Still, this was the first Oscars that I have ever enjoyed watching.

  32. Akira,

    Did it occur to you that Crash won because the (homophobic) African-American voters would vote for any movie made by a “brother” before they would vote for a movie two gay white sheepherders made by an immigrant?

  33. ‘Homophobia’ what a phony, overused, meaningless word. What’s the word for ‘spoiled faggots that throw a hissy-fit when they don’t get all the toys in the sandbox’? Indeed we need a general-purpose word to describe someone claiming oppression anytime they’re group doesn’t get the special treatment they want.

    That reminds me of a definition I once read. To paraphrase:

    Homophobe: 1. One who hates homosexuals. 2: One who is hated by homosexuals.

  34. we need a general-purpose word to describe someone claiming oppression anytime they’re group doesn’t get the special treatment they want.

    Hypoquisitive.

    hypo-
    a prefix meaning below, low or insufficient.

    hypocrite
    n.
    a person who professes beliefs and opinions they do not hold

    acquisitive
    adj.
    characterized by a strong desire to gain and possess.

  35. Indeed we need a general-purpose word to describe someone claiming oppression anytime they’re group doesn’t get the special treatment they want.

    We already have one: “Activist.”

  36. I’m amazed that no one has commented on the repeated pleas to see movies in the theater.

    Me too. I think it’s funny how they kept talking about how movies aren’t the same on your television, when you can sit in your living room these days and watch a larger than life blockbuster on your larger than life screen, with full surround sound, in the proper aspect ratio, and at a resolution that would make God do a double take, NAKED, and in much more comfortable seating to boot.

  37. We already have one: “Activist.”

    How about “Activitch”?

  38. Did it occur to you that Crash won because the (homophobic) African-American voters would vote for any movie made by a “brother” before they would vote for a movie two gay white sheepherders made by an immigrant?

    Not to be pedantic, but Paul Haggis, the guy who wrote and directed Crash, is 1) from Canada, and therefore as much an ‘immigrant’ as Ang Lee and 2) white, and therefore as much a ‘brother’ as, well, Ang Lee.

  39. I’m amazed that no one has commented on the repeated pleas to see movies in the theater.

    That bugged the crap out of me – and I only watched about 45 minutes of the show.

    We already have one: “Activist.”

    Correct – and let’s keep in mind that the opinions of the most vocal fags don’t reflect those of all fags…

  40. By the way, the part of me that has issue with black people being called African-American even though they may not be American found the joke that Charlize Theron was (South) African-American hilarious. Too bad she is not American though, merely South African.

    But the comment works on Teresa Heinz, who almost became the first African-American First Lady.

  41. I’m amazed that no one has commented on the repeated pleas to see movies in the theater.

    As stilted as the pleas were, I wonder whether theater chains should have given more money to various presenters. 😉

  42. Anyone else think the female lead vocalist of that damn “Pimp” song sounded just slightly better than a screeching cat? Maybe it was bad live mixing. 99% of rap is shitty anyway, so…

    Re: African-Americans: I wonder how many Egyptians, Libyans, Moroccans, Algerians, Tunisians, etc. who have come here have attempted to claim “African-American” status. I know the likely answer (about the same as the number of white South Africans, Zimbabweans, Namibians, etc. who have).

  43. Here’s one about a white kid from South Africa who became an American citizen. His High School considered it inappropriate and insensitive when his friends nominated him for the Distinguished African American Student Award.

  44. White people from South Africa and Namibia refer to themselves as “Africans”.

  45. It could simply be that everyone who acted in Crash voted for it.

  46. Isaac, I was wondering how many naturalized US citizens (or even multiple-generation-removed) from said countries tried to claim “African-American”.

  47. Wow, Richard Kim (from the Nation link above) presents a really, really lazy analysis of Crash. I should have gone with my first instinct and stopped reading upon seeing the first five words: As a film studies major…

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