Gawker rounds up some examples of the media-freak out over all the virtual Uncle Ernies stalking your child—yes your child—on MySpace.

NEXT: Where Have You Gone, Joe Piscopo?

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  1. Thanks for the heads-up!

  2. Tell me something I didn’t know from being online for ten years. When I was a kid, if I didn’t want to attract attention, I’d just say I was M/15 and overweight. That allowed to me talk freely. I got to enjoy the alter ego, so I still use it every now and again, even though I’m actually F/25.

    But now that I’m a grown up, I can say “F/25/Los Angeles” in my profile because no one bothers with you if you say you’re “In a Relationship”

    On that note, I was up late last night changing the colors on my profile. That shit is addictive.

  3. Nice Who reference!

    I understand that one can find perverts at the library, too. I demand an immediate crackdown.

  4. Gonna have to try making a “Word Cloud” from a few random MySpace pages.

  5. I’m still waiting for the media freak-out about the relationship between bad parenting and childrens’ problems. I have a feeling that it’ll be a long wait.

  6. It’s become a feedback loop. The police see the stories on TV, hold seminars about the “dangers” of MySpace, and then demand attention from the local media.

  7. The underage Japanese maiden I’ve been trying to lure to Guam for so many years she’s past legal now, posted a shitload of pictures on MySpace. You know how those Japanese are with the camera.
    In order to browse, I signed up with MySpace.
    No sooner than I had gotten my e-mail confirmation and password, I learned my maiden was a maiden no more. Baby due in September. Unmarried.
    Those cherished Japanese values? Down the toilet.
    So anyway, happy hunting!
    My heart’s not in it anymore.
    That, and I’m older than Methusala.

  8. SMACKY!!! is that you?????

  9. Hey, has anyone seen Kinko the Clown there? He did say that he’d be back to play with us in 20 years.

    Unless he did a stint in the psych ward and Napolean the XIV got him with a shank.

  10. Wow, I had no clue so many mathrock/noisecore/shoegaze bands were a target for sexual predators.

  11. Just wait until parents find out about Hit and Run.

  12. It would be interesting to do a survey and find out what percentage of the naive 14-year-old nubile potential victims on MySpace are actually undercover cops.

    Given that, according to 10 PM news, San Antonio PD or SO nail a couple of perverts a month I would guess at least three-fourths.

  13. MySpace is a great place to meet kids–I mean, it’s a place for all of God’s wonderful, special children to play, and be innocent.

    Heeehoo! Sha-mon…

  14. I gotta say, a few of my students (relax, I’m not a teacher, I just run the lab part time) were talking one day about their favorite web sites and MySpace came up. I have to admit, I felt like an old geezer for wanting to shoo them away from it. Oh, yeah… they’re in the 4th grade.

    These kids are fairly computer-savvy. They like chatting and email and the like… and honestly, who can blame them? But man, there is some bad stuff out there.

  15. We need to get kids away from the dangerous internet, and into churches where they’ll be safe from pedo–oh, shoot.

  16. Anyone else experiencing that Gawker site trying to do something fishy on your machine, answering “No” when IE asks permission, and then browser crash? Anyway… beware.

  17. This just in, a kid has been arrested because he posted pictures of himself posing with guns on his MySpace website.

    More info:

    Teen Nabbed After Gun Photos Online

  18. I think what we need to do is ban children from the Internet.

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