We Have A Fatwa: Imam Gets In Deeper than He Think$. "I didn't know there were 12," sez cheapskate cleric! Rushdie still in hot water: "Ayatollyah so," egghead claims

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A Pakistani cleric has finally put some money down in the intoonfada. Anybody looking to earn more than $12 million and 12 cars merely has to track down and kill the authors of the Jyllands-Posten Muhammad cartoons. Mohammed Yousaf Qureshi, prayer leader at the Mohabat Khan mosque in Peshawar, offers $25,000 and a ride for the assassin:

He also said a local jewelers' association would give $1 million but no representative of the association was available to confirm it had made the offer.

"This is a unanimous decision of by all imams (prayer leaders) of Islam that whoever insults the prophet deserves to be killed and whoever will take this insulting man to his end, will get this prize," Qureshi told about 1,000 people outside the mosque after Friday prayers.

Qureshi did not name any cartoonist in his announcement and did not appear to be aware that 12 different people had drawn the pictures.

Yeah, well when I show up with all 12 heads in a jumbo cooler, he'd better pay up, is all I'm saying.

Note on the title: I suspect the reward offered is not technically a fatwa, but somebody with a better understanding of Islamic jurisprudence can clear that up. Happily, however, the Martyrs Foundation of Iran has now announced that "Imam Khomeini's fatwa on the apostate Salman Rushdie will remain in force for eternity," and that go-getters can pick up a cool $2.8 million for bagging the controversial author. Daniel Pipes saw that one coming nearly eight years ago.

Special American-Fatwa bonus: Complete coverage of the unfolding Daily Illini controversy.

NEXT: Friday Fun Link: NSA Wiretap Edition

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  1. Love the headline.

  2. Sounds like a great opportunity for “Faking Your Own Death for Fun and Profit”.

  3. If I had the money, i.e. if I had recently won the lottery, I start with a $1 Million bounty on Mohammed Yousaf Qureshi. Then for every Danish cartoonist killed because of his actions I would add $1 million to the price on his head.

  4. Tim – are those rupees, or dollars?

  5. Stephen, I was thinking the exact same thing.

  6. If I had the money, i.e. if I had recently won the lottery, I start with a $1 Million bounty on Mohammed Yousaf Qureshi. Then for every Danish cartoonist killed because of his actions I would add $1 million to the price on his head.

    I dunno Macklin. I get the irony and everything, but putting out a contract on somebody’s life, that seems worse than comin’ out big against free speech. If you won the lottery, couldn’t you use that? …Maybe put out an advertising campaign about how using Islam as an excuse to put a contract on somebody is worse than printing a cartoon about Mohammed?

  7. Barbarians with cell phones make the Sentinelese look pretty damned sophisticated.

    …Islamic jurisprudence…
    Codified childish outbursts by any other name would smell as sweet.

  8. Stephen: While I appreciate the sentiment, I don’t think outrageous violence is the solution to outrageous violence.

    However, if I had a spare million, I might put a bounty on a large lemon meringue pie to Qureshi’s face. With video …

  9. Steven & Greg –

    I got caught up in another thread and you guys beat me to the point.

    If we could only find his cell phone number, we could call it and say “Al Queda, Bin Laden, Al Queda, Bin Laden” 500 times or so. The NSA computer would flag it, the cruise missle would be on it’s way, and we could save $1,000,000 – whatever the missle cost us in taxes.

    Of course, we’d have to spend the next sixteen years in Guantanamo.

  10. Penguin,
    Are you forgetting who the commander in chief is?
    The odds are better that the missile hits your end of the phone connection than for you to go to Gitmo.

  11. Penguin,
    Are you forgetting who the commander in chief is?
    The odds are better that the missile hits your end of the phone connection than for you to go to Gitmo.

  12. Yeah, I don’t know about an actual bounty on his head, but I’m announcing this now: I will pay $1 million to the first person who pantses the bastard on video.

  13. Sweet mother of jesus. Can I get a bounty on my own head if I make a independent movie about Mohammed? I swear to dog one of these times I’m going to do it.

  14. My bad – ‘Al Qaeda’ – not ‘Al Queda’

    I wonder if Qureshi’s offers extends to the killing of the Danish Imams who commissioned those phony cartoons.

    NoStar – I don’t think so, I live in a “Red” State. But I know where you’re coming from…

  15. Ken & CodeMonkeySteve, I bet you’ll feel different if the bounty was on your head.

  16. I don’t see the problem with putting a price on the guy’s head. It’s done all the time. What’s the bounty on Bin Laden up to? I think it’s at least $20 million. I think we put $10 million on Zarqawi.

  17. If we could only find his cell phone number, we could call it and say “Al Queda, Bin Laden, Al Queda, Bin Laden” 500 times or so. The NSA computer would flag it, the cruise missle would be on it’s way, and we could save $1,000,000 – whatever the missle cost us in taxes.

    Now, thanks to you plus the general anti-government sentiments here, NSA has flagged this thread for “special attention”.

  18. I’ve always thought I deserved special attention.

  19. Since Pakistan is officially one of our Goog-Guy Allies in this here War on Terror, I’m sure the cleric in question will soon be jailed for this, right?

  20. Goog-guy = Good-guy

  21. I am now pronouncing the following fatwas:

    It is forbidden to make any joke about Mohammad and his nine-year-old wife. Penalty for joke: Beheading via axe.

    It is forbidding to make any joke about Mohammad and his so-called relationship with his camel. Penalty for joke: Slitting throat.

    It is forbidden to make a T-shirt reading “Mo knows . . .” with a list of possible endings for the sentence such as “… car bombs . . . suicide bombs . . . burkas . . . tyranny . . . etc” Penalty for T-shirt: Death by shooting.

    It is forbidden to make a roll of toilet paper with a verse from the Koran on each square. Penalty: A fine of 20 camels, plus beheading.

    It is forbidden for a business to give the name “Beard of the Prophet” to a line of feminine hygiene products. Penalty: Castration and beheading.

    It is forbidden to make a parody of a Madonna song that goes “like a virgin, touched by her very first martyr.” Penalty: Beheading by scimitar.

  22. Ken & CodeMonkeySteve, I bet you’ll feel different if the bounty was on your head.

    If the bounty was on my head, and I called for a contract on this Imam, I suppose I’d be much less of a hypocrite. …still, putting a contract on someone is worse than protesting against free speech–it kinda makes protesting against free speech look like jaywalking.

    In some Muslim countries, they let victims mete out the justice, I think. …but we don’t do that here. You don’t get to, for instance, rape somebody just because they raped you or put a contract on somebody just because they put a contract on you…

    And it’s hard to condemn an Imam like this, for doing something like this, when you’re suggesting that you’d do the same thing yourself.

    I hope that somewhere, in the Muslim world, there’s a liberal out there, and he’s makin’ the argument on a forum, right now, about how much worse it is to put a contract on someone in the name of the Prophet than to draw a blasphemous cartoon. …Let’s not pull the rug out from under him.

  23. One thing Scots-Irish hillbillies have in common with hoi polloi Muslims is that we are not money-motivated.
    We kill those that need killin’, but we take no pleasure in it, and, certainly no reward.

  24. But Ken, don’t you think there’s a difference between taking a contract out on somebody who merely draws a cartoon, versus taking a contract out on somebody who is paying other people to commit murder?

  25. Since Pakistan is officially one of our Goog-Guy Allies in this here War on Terror, I’m sure the cleric in question will soon be jailed for this, right?

    In a lot of countries, the people that choose the ambassador to the UN aren’t always the people in control of everything. I don’t know what Musharraf would do if he could, but I’d bet that there’s a lot of things he’d like to do if he could. …and I don’t think we should kick ‘im out of bed just ’cause he can’t get the fanatics to shut up.

    …We have a hard time doin’ that ourselves, you know, and some of our fanatics call for much worse things than this.

  26. Maybe we should rename our drone missiles Fatwah rockets and give these advocates of murder a little taste of their own medicine.

  27. But Ken, don’t you think there’s a difference between taking a contract out on somebody who merely draws a cartoon, versus taking a contract out on somebody who is paying other people to commit murder?

    I don’t see the darkness in their hearts as the distinguishing factor. I think torturing detainees is wrong, regardless of whether the victim has evil in his heart. I think torturing soccer moms is wrong too, probably worse than torturing detainees. Still, torturing people, whether it’s a detainee or a soccer mom, is wrong.

    …Under these circumstances, offering a small fortune to contract killers is wrong too, regardless of what’s in the intended victim’s heart.

  28. Offtopic: Good news for those against frivolous lawsuits and who require heavy duty painkillers. The Vioxx jury acquitted Merck of any wrongdoing. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/4726306.stm

  29. A fatwa is a religiously valid juridical decision by a member of the ulama. It can be anything from “yes you can eat that sheep” to “no you can’t marry/divorce this person” to “it is legal to kill this person.” The money reward is a separate matter.

  30. Next thing you know, some Nigerian is going to be emailing me that offed the cartoonists, and needs me to help him collect the reward.

  31. One other thought… this whole intoonfada thing has really exposed how useless newspapers are now. If you can’t get a simple non-sexual picture from any MSM publication, but it is readily available online, you fully realize how worthless they’ve become.

  32. Maybe we should rename our drone missiles Fatwah rockets and give these advocates of murder a little taste of their own medicine.

    But you’ll have to make sure you don’t hurt so much as a flea on the camel he’s riding. We can’t have any “innocents” getting hurt. Those fleas have at least as much right to live as you do, and probably more.

    Oh yeah, they don’t have camels in Pakistan. Well, you get the point anyway. Don’t hurt even a hair on the back of whatever the hell he’s riding on when you find him.

    fwiw the infoontada has, God willing, just killed off a few more in a riot in Libya.

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060218/ap_on_re_mi_ea/prophet_drawings

    These people aren’t even living in the 19th century yet, let alone the 21st. Are we allowed to call a spade a spade yet?

    Apparently not.

    I don’t think outrageous violence is the solution to outrageous violence

    This gives the word “outrageous” a whole new meaning.

    And now it’s time for the lecture about how we all know, boys and girls, that not all Muslims commit outrageous violence, or riot over cartoons — CARTOONS, God willing.

  33. en,

    And it’s hard to condemn an Imam like this, for doing something like this, when you’re suggesting that you’d do the same thing yourself.

    You’ve got to be anti-gun. That, or you’re really getting confused somewhere along the line.

  34. btw Tim, great title

  35. this whole intoonfada thing has really exposed how useless newspapers are now

    Maybe not totally worthless. Just think, somebody has to represent our culture’s sensibilities. Besides, the blogosphere wouldn’t be what it is, if it didn’t have the MSM to rail against and prove wrong.

    That, and the editors probably don’t want contracts on their heads.

  36. Whenever Rushdie dies of natural causes in whatever Western country he happens to be in at the time, it should be interesting to see how many people and government organizations try to snatch the body in order to collect the reward.

  37. Maybe Rushdie (and others) could put something in his will that when he dies he wants his body to go to [person X] so that they may collect the bounty.

    Using this idea, maybe we can get an army of terminal cancer patients drawing blasphemous cartoons, and bankrupt them completely (assuming they both have the money to back up their idiocy, and are willing to make good on it).

    Now, we just need a name for the campaign…

  38. I wouldn’t advocate a wholesale invasion of the Islamic world. But this

    Using this idea, maybe we can get an army of terminal cancer patients drawing blasphemous cartoons, and bankrupt them completely

    sure is in the right ball park. Somehow we have to find workable tactics that will bleed them down, to the point that they’ve lost the will to fight. More than anything else, that’s what it means to win a war.

    Militant Islam has declared war on the West, assymetric or whatever you want to call it. Maybe what the West needs are Think Tanks to come up with ideas like this, on how to counter them in some other “assymetric” ways.

  39. You’ve got to be anti-gun. That, or you’re really getting confused somewhere along the line.

    If I didn’t live in an area where they want to give you a colonoscopy before they’ll give you a concealed carry permit, I’d probably get a Khar PM9. I check packing.org a couple times a month, hoping my county will somehow change from yellow to green. (My county’s pinkish yellow at best.)

    So I guess I must have gotten confused somewhere. Tell me, how do you explain that it’s okay for you to put a price on some civilian’s head, but it’s not okay for someone else to put a price on some civilian’s head? …and how could disagreeing with you on this issue possibly indicate an anti-gun bias?

  40. I saw some of these cartoons right here at this very website. I sure could use a little extra dough…

  41. little off topic but how bad are the islamists really? I mean being a holicaust denier is worse then being a holicoust provider? like say europe has ?

    It is Europe that has commited more genocide then small pox…hell i think they invented small pox.

    I don’t know where i am going…perhaps just to say that Iran would get far better cool points if they simply said “ok the holicaust happened…and it is was europe who did it not us so why the fuck should we have to listen to murderous bastards like you?”

    anyway if i was iran that is what i would do. 🙂

  42. As I suggested above, the situation would be different, ethically, if the contract was on Macklin’s head. Still, if you can find an instance where, say, a mob boss, for instance, should be let off because the contract he put out was in response to a contract placed on him by a rival, then I’ll reconsider.

    The problem is that this isn’t an appropriate level of response to people who are clearly our enemies.

    While we certainly have enemies in Pakistan, it isn’t clear to me that the people of Pakistan are our enemies. …one easy way to push those that aren’t over the edge is to put prices on Pakistani heads.

    Your arguments seem to boil down to a couple of basic concepts. 1) That Muslims are unworthy of the respect our culture affords other people and 2) that whatever is lost by descending to the level of criminals is of no strategic value. This is the logic of an angry mob. …form an angry mob if you like, but don’t expect me not to point and say, “Look, an angry mob!”

    There may be peace loving Muslims, but Islam is not inherently a peace loving religion because that strain has never really flowered out. The historical forces that would have allowed it to bloom have never occurred.

    There’s no room left for anybody to say “oh, that’s just a few isolated Muslims”. Three riots in three different countries — from Pakistan to North Africa — is not a sign of a few deviants. It’s an indication of a systemic problem.

    Although our cultures have interacted over time, you’re right, theirs is very different from ours. I wish they respected freedom of the press as much as they venerate the Prophet, but, apparently, that just isn’t the case. Manipulating other people’s cultures to be more to our liking, however, seems a fool’s errand to me–it’s been tried before, you know? See the history of “Western” interference in India, Southeast Asia and Africa during the 19th and 20th centuries for examples.

    Manipulation of economies from above is impossible to do well, there are just too many variables, unintended consequences, etc. I think there are many more variables influencing the composition of culture, indeed, economics is just one factor. …and so many of the problems we’re facing now seem a direct result, I think, of earlier efforts to do just that. From the “let’s end slavery in Sudan” to “let’s bring ’em “civilization”, this has all been tried before.

    …but, for the sake of argument, let’s assume I’m wrong about that. Tell me, how will Macklin putting a contract on a Pakistani Imam make the adoption of our cultural values by Pakistanis more desirable?

  43. This is a Muslim Civil War. The rioters aren’t an isolated problem, they’re the armies of one side. Let’s hope the other side wins, since we can’t deliver them the victory. Let’s hope we don’t completely alienate the other side in trying.

  44. This is a Muslim Civil War.

    How so? Seems like the West, and the US and Isreal in particular, are what they’re screaming in the riots.

    If you can believe the news reports, that is.

    Ken,

    While we certainly have enemies in Pakistan, it isn’t clear to me that the people of Pakistan are our enemies. …one easy way to push those that aren’t over the edge is to put prices on Pakistani heads.

    So how many of them do you think are our enemies?

    Seems like you don’t see this whole ordeal as worth responding to. What are you suggeting we do? Nothing?

    If it were just a Muslim civil war then I’d agree, doing nothing makes the most sense. But I don’t think it is just a Muslim civil war.

  45. Seems like you don’t see this whole ordeal as worth responding to. What are you suggeting we do? Nothing?

    Has it occurred to you that the people putting prices on cartoonists heads, the people demonstrating in the streets throughout the Muslim world, the people rioting, has it occurred to you that they may be aware that our President has undertaken the remaking of Muslim culture as a foreign policy initiative? Has it occurred to you that they may be reacting, in part, to the realization that the President of the United States and, indeed, some of its people are openly committed to reforming their culture, a culture they may be as happy with as you are with yours?

    What if the people of the Muslim world genuinely prefer not to have freedom of the press if freedom of the press means printing irreverent depictions of the Prophet? …and considering recent elections, from the election of Hamas to the election of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the trouncing of Iraqi secularists, doesn’t that seem to be the case?

    Considering that we’ve officially undertaken the reform of these people’s culture, is it unreasonable for them to question the values we plan to instill in their culture? If indeed that’s what they’re reacting to, in part, then I contend that one of the things we should consider doing is taking the reform of Muslim culture off the table as a foreign policy initiative. I think we should stop trying to use it as justification for having bombed, invaded and occupied Iraq too. …Is it unreasonable for them to suspect that we might be coming to a town near them with the same thing in mind?

    Surely, those loonies in the streets, loony as they may be, can point to Iraq and the stated foreign policy goals of our President as the inspiration for their rioting, their silly fatwas, etc. Perhaps they lash out at our cultural values because they think we’re a threat to their culture. Perhaps they think we’re a threat to their culture because we continue to support a President that’s made changing their culture a top priority. Perhaps we should withdraw our support for the President’s foreign policy.

  46. Perhaps we should pretend that somehow, Muslims blowing up the WTC was really our own fault after all. Jeez how STUPID of us, why did we make them do that to us? Must be because we elected Bush. It’s really all his fault, as everyone knows full well.

    If we’d just stop being a bully on the playground, I’m sure all these Muslims would love us instead of blowing us up, and beheading people, and building nuclear bombs.

    Yeah, that’s it. If we just withdrew all our support for Bush’s foreign policies, then Iran wouldn’t feel the “need” to build nukes. That’s it.

    If we just close our eyes long enough, it’ll all go away. Or if we do open our eyes, then the only thing we’ll let ourselves “see” is an invented psychoanalysis of the people who are, in fact, our avowed enemies.

    Yeah, that’s it. That’ll fix everything.

  47. Take your fingers out of your ears, pretending that none of this is happening.

    …If you can’t see that the protests in the streets are, at least in part, a reaction to our cultural revolution justifications for invading Iraq and our expressed goal of remaking Muslim culture, then you’re just ignoring the facts.

    …and nice strawman about 9/11. No one said 9/11 was our fault. You jump to really silly conclusions sometimes, see “anti-gun” above.

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